Sullivan, Arthur
The Grand Duke
Full Libretto
Source
ACT I.
ACT II.
ACT I.
GRETCHEN
BERTHAbˈɜːθɐ
,
OLGAˈoʊlɡə
,
MARTHAˈmɑɹθə
,
andˈænd
otherˈʌðɐ
membersmˈɛmbəz
ofˈɒv
ERNESTˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
DUMMKOPF'S
theatricalθiːˈætɹɪkəl
companykˈʌmpəni
areə(ɹ)
discovereddɪskˈʌvəd
,
seatedsˈiːtɪd
atˈæt
severalsˈɛvɹəl
smallsmˈɔːl
tablestˈeɪbəlz
,
enjoyingɛndʒˈɔɪɪŋ
a
repastɹɪpˈɑːst
inˈɪn
honourˈɒnɐ
ofˈɒv
theðə
nuptialsnˈʌpʃəlz
ofˈɒv
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
,
hishˈɪz
leadingˈliːdɪŋ
comediankəmˈiːdiən
,
andˈænd
LISAˈliːsə
,
hishˈɪz
soubrettesaʊbɹˈɛt
.
CHORUS
Won't
itˈɪt
bebˈiː
a
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
?
Willwˈɪl
notnˈɒt
Lisaˈliːsə
looklˈʊk
delightfuldɪlˈaɪtfəl
?
Smilessmˈaɪlz
andˈænd
tearstɪɹz
inˈɪn
plentyplˈɛnti
sheddingʃˈɛdɪŋ
—
Whichwˈɪtʃ
inˈɪn
bridesbɹˈaɪdz
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
isˈɪz
rightfulɹˈaɪtfəl
Onewˈɒn
couldkˈʊd
saysˈeɪ
,
ifˈɪf
onewˈɒn
werewˈɜː
spitefulspˈaɪtfəl
,
Contradictionkˌɒntɹədˈɪkʃən
littlelˈɪtəl
dreadingdɹˈɛdɪŋ
,
Herhˈɜː
bouquetbuːkˈeɪ
isˈɪz
simplysˈɪmpli
frightfulfɹˈaɪtfəl
—
Stillstˈɪl
,
'twill
bebˈiː
a
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
a
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
!
Suchsˈʌtʃ
a
prettypɹˈɪti
,
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
!
ELSA
Ifˈɪf
herhˈɜː
dressdɹˈɛs
isˈɪz
badlybˈædli
fittingfˈɪtɪŋ
,
Theirsðˈeəz
theðə
faultfˈɒlt
whohˈuː
mademˈeɪd
herhˈɜː
trousseautɹˈaʊsəʊ
.
BERTHA
Ifˈɪf
herhˈɜː
glovesɡlˈʌvz
areə(ɹ)
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
splittingsplˈɪtɪŋ
,
Cheaptʃˈiːp
kidkˈɪd
glovesɡlˈʌvz
,
wewˈiː
knownˈəʊ
,
willwˈɪl
dodə
sosˈəʊ
.
OLGA
Ifˈɪf
uponəpˈɒn
herhˈɜː
traintɹˈeɪn
sheʃˈiː
stumbledstˈʌmbəld
,
Onˈɒn
one's
traintɹˈeɪn
one's
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
treadingtɹˈɛdɪŋ
.
GRET
Ifˈɪf
herhˈɜː
hairhˈeə
isˈɪz
ratherɹˈɑːðɐ
tumbledtˈʌmbəld
,
Stillstˈɪl
,
'twill
bebˈiː
a
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
!
CHORUS
Suchsˈʌtʃ
a
prettypɹˈɪti
,
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
!
Herehˈiə
theyðˈeɪ
comekˈʌm
,
theðə
couplekˈʌpəl
plightedplaɪt
—
Onˈɒn
life's
journeydʒˈɜːni
gailyɡˈeɪli
startstˈɑːt
themðˈɛm
.
Soonsˈuːn
totˈuː
bebˈiː
forfˈɔː
ayeeɪ
unitedjuːnˈaɪtɪd
,
Tilltˈɪl
divorcedɪvˈɔːs
orˈɔː
deathdˈɛθ
shallʃˈæl
partpˈɑːt
themðˈɛm
.
LUDWIG and LISA come forward
CHORUS
DUETdjuːˈɛt
—
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
andˈænd
LISAˈliːsə
.
LUD
Prettypɹˈɪti
Lisaˈliːsə
,
fairfˈeə
andˈænd
tastytˈeɪsti
,
Telltˈɛl
memˈiː
nownˈaʊ
,
andˈænd
telltˈɛl
memˈiː
trulytɹˈuːli
,
Haven't
youjˈuː
beenbˈiːn
ratherɹˈɑːðɐ
hastyhˈeɪsti
?
Haven't
youjˈuː
beenbˈiːn
rashɹˈæʃ
undulyʌndjˈuːli
?
Aməm
I
quitekwaɪt
theðə
dashingdˈæʃɪŋ
sposo
Thatðˈæt
yourjˈɔː
fancyfˈænsi
couldkˈʊd
depictdɪpˈɪkt
youjˈuː
?
Perhapspəhˈæps
youjˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
I'm
onlyˈəʊnli
so-soˈsəʊˌsəʊ
?
She expresses admiration
LUD
Wellwˈɛl
,
I
willwˈɪl
notnˈɒt
contradictkˌɒntɹədˈɪkt
youjˈuː
!
CHORUS
Nonəʊ
,
heˈhiː
willwˈɪl
notnˈɒt
contradictkˌɒntɹədˈɪkt
youjˈuː
!
LISA
Whohˈuː
aməm
I
totˈuː
raiseɹˈeɪz
objectionɒbdʒˈɛkʃən
?
I'm
a
childtʃˈaɪld
,
untaughtʌntˈɔːt
andˈænd
homelyhˈəʊmli
—
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
telltˈɛl
memˈiː
you're
perfectionpəfˈɛkʃən
,
Tendertˈɛndɐ
,
truthfultɹˈuːθfəl
,
truetɹˈuː
,
andˈænd
comelykˈʌmli
—
Thatðˈæt
inˈɪn
quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
nonəʊ
one's
bolderbˈəʊldɐ
,
Thoughðˈəʊ
dissensionsdɪsˈɛnʃənz
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
grieveɡɹˈiːv
youjˈuː
—
Whywˈaɪ
,
mymˈaɪ
lovelˈʌv
,
you're
sosˈəʊ
muchmˈʌtʃ
olderˈəʊldɐ
Thatðˈæt
,
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
I
mustmˈʌst
believebɪlˈiːv
youjˈuː
!
CHORUS
Yesjˈɛs
,
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
sheʃˈiː
mustmˈʌst
believebɪlˈiːv
youjˈuː
!
Ifˈɪf
heˈhiː
everˈɛvɐ
actsˈækts
unkindlyʌnkˈaɪndli
,
Shutʃˈʌt
yourjˈɔː
eyesˈaɪz
andˈænd
lovelˈʌv
himhˈɪm
blindlyblˈaɪndli
—
Shouldʃˈʊd
heˈhiː
callkˈɔːl
youjˈuː
namesnˈeɪmz
uncomely
,
Shutʃˈʌt
yourjˈɔː
mouthmaʊθ
andˈænd
lovelˈʌv
himhˈɪm
dumblydˈʌmli
—
Shouldʃˈʊd
heˈhiː
rateɹˈeɪt
youjˈuː
,
rightlyɹˈaɪtli
—
leftly
—
Shutʃˈʌt
yourjˈɔː
earsˈiəz
andˈænd
lovelˈʌv
himhˈɪm
deaflyˈdɛfli
.
Hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
Thusðˈʌs
andˈænd
thusðˈʌs
andˈænd
thusðˈʌs
aloneɐlˈəʊn
Ludwig's
wifewˈaɪf
maymˈeɪ
holdhˈəʊld
herhˈɜː
ownˈəʊn
!
LUDWIG and LISA sit at table
Enter NOTARY TANNHAUSER.
NOT
Hallohˈæləʊ
!
Surelyʃˈɔːli
I'm
notnˈɒt
latelˈeɪt
?
(
Allˈɔːl
chattertʃˈætɐ
unintelligibly
inˈɪn
replyɹɪplˈaɪ
)
Butbˈʌt
,
deardˈiə
memˈiː
,
you're
allˈɔːl
atˈæt
breakfastbɹˈɛkfəst
!
Hashˈæz
theðə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
takentˈeɪkən
placeplˈeɪs
?
(
Allˈɔːl
chattertʃˈætɐ
unintelligibly
inˈɪn
replyɹɪplˈaɪ
)
Mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
girlsɡˈɜːlz
,
onewˈɒn
atˈæt
a
timetˈaɪm
,
I
begbˈɛɡ
.
Letlˈɛt
memˈiː
understandˌʌndəstˈænd
theðə
situationsˌɪtʃuːˈeɪʃən
.
Asəz
solicitorsəlˈɪsɪtɐ
totˈuː
theðə
conspiracykənspˈɪɹəsi
totˈuː
dethronediːθɹˈəʊn
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
—
a
conspiracykənspˈɪɹəsi
inˈɪn
whichwˈɪtʃ
theðə
membersmˈɛmbəz
ofˈɒv
thisðˈɪs
companykˈʌmpəni
areə(ɹ)
deeplydˈiːpli
involvedɪnvˈɒlvd
—
I
aməm
invitedɪnvˈaɪtɪd
totˈuː
theðə
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
ofˈɒv
twotˈuː
ofˈɒv
itsˈɪts
membersmˈɛmbəz
.
I
presentˈpɹɛzənt
myselfmaɪsˈɛlf
inˈɪn
duedjˈuː
coursekˈɔːs
,
andˈænd
I
findfˈaɪnd
,
notnˈɒt
onlyˈəʊnli
thatðˈæt
theðə
ceremonysˈɛɹɪməni
hashˈæz
takentˈeɪkən
placeplˈeɪs
—
whichwˈɪtʃ
isˈɪz
notnˈɒt
ofˈɒv
theðə
leastlˈiːst
consequencekˈɒnsɪkwəns
—
butbˈʌt
theðə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
breakfastbɹˈɛkfəst
isˈɪz
halfhˈɑːf
eatenˈiːtən
—
whichwˈɪtʃ
isˈɪz
a
considerationkənsˌɪdəɹˈeɪʃən
ofˈɒv
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
serioussˈiəɹɪəs
importanceɪmpˈɔːtəns
.
LUDWIG and LISA come down
LUD
Butbˈʌt
theðə
ceremonysˈɛɹɪməni
hashˈæz
notnˈɒt
takentˈeɪkən
placeplˈeɪs
.
Wewˈiː
can't
getɡˈɛt
a
parsonpˈɑːsən
!
NOT
Can't
getɡˈɛt
a
parsonpˈɑːsən
!
Whywˈaɪ
,
how's
thatðˈæt
?
They're
threeθɹˈiː
a
pennypˈɛni
!
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
it's
theðə
oldˈəʊld
storystˈɔːɹi
—
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
!
ALL
Ughˈʌɡ
!
LUD
Itˈɪt
seemssˈiːmz
thatðˈæt
theðə
littlelˈɪtəl
impˈɪmp
hashˈæz
selectedsɪlˈɛktɪd
thisðˈɪs
,
ourˈaʊə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
daydˈeɪ
,
forfˈɔː
a
convocationkɒnvəkˈeɪʃən
ofˈɒv
allˈɔːl
theðə
clergyklˈɜːdʒi
inˈɪn
theðə
towntˈaʊn
totˈuː
settlesˈɛtəl
theðə
detailsdˈiːteɪlz
ofˈɒv
hishˈɪz
approachingɐpɹˈəʊtʃɪŋ
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
withwˈɪð
theðə
enormouslyɪnˈɔːməsli
wealthywˈɛlθi
Baronessbˈæɹəʊnəs
von
Krakenfeldt
,
andˈænd
thereðˈeə
won't
bebˈiː
a
parsonpˈɑːsən
totˈuː
bebˈiː
hadhˈæd
forfˈɔː
lovelˈʌv
orˈɔː
moneymˈʌni
untilʌntˈɪl
sixsˈɪks
o'clock
thisðˈɪs
eveningˈiːvnɪŋ
!
LISA
Andˈænd
asəz
wewˈiː
producepɹəˈd͡ʒuːs
ourˈaʊə
magnificentmæɡnˈɪfɪsənt
classicalklˈæsɪkəl
revivalɹɪvˈaɪvəl
ofˈɒv
Troilus
andˈænd
Cressida
to-nighttəˈnaɪt
atˈæt
sevensˈɛvən
,
wewˈiː
havehəv
nonəʊ
alternativeɔːltˈɜːnətˌɪv
butbˈʌt
totˈuː
eatˈiːt
ourˈaʊə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
breakfastbɹˈɛkfəst
beforebɪfˈɔː
we've
earnedˈɜːnd
itˈɪt
.
Sosˈəʊ
sitsˈɪt
downdˈaʊn
,
andˈænd
makemˈeɪk
theðə
bestbˈɛst
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
.
GRET
Ohˈəʊ
,
I
shouldʃˈʊd
likelˈaɪk
totˈuː
pullpˈʊl
hishˈɪz
Grandɡɹˈænd
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
earsˈiəz
forfˈɔː
himhˈɪm
,
thatðˈæt
I
shouldʃˈʊd
!
He's
theðə
meanestmˈiːnəst
,
theðə
cruellestkɹˈuːələst
,
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
spitefulspˈaɪtfəl
littlelˈɪtəl
apeˈeɪp
inˈɪn
Christendomˈkɹɪsn̩dəm
!
OLGA
Wellwˈɛl
,
wewˈiː
shallʃˈæl
soonsˈuːn
bebˈiː
freedfɹˈiːd
fromfɹˈɒm
hishˈɪz
tyrannytˈɪɹənˌi
.
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
theðə
Despotdˈɛspɒt
isˈɪz
totˈuː
bebˈiː
dethroneddiːθɹˈəʊnd
!
LUD
Hushhˈʌʃ
,
rashɹˈæʃ
girlɡˈɜːl
!
Youjˈuː
knownˈəʊ
notnˈɒt
whatwˈɒt
youjˈuː
saysˈeɪ
.
OLGA
Don't
bebˈiː
absurdɐbsˈɜːd
!
We're
allˈɔːl
inˈɪn
itˈɪt
—
we're
allˈɔːl
tiledtˈaɪld
,
herehˈiə
.
LUD
Thatðˈæt
hashˈæz
nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
totˈuː
dodə
withwˈɪð
itˈɪt
.
Knownˈəʊ
yejiː
notnˈɒt
thatðˈæt
inˈɪn
alludingɐlˈuːdɪŋ
totˈuː
ourˈaʊə
conspiracykənspˈɪɹəsi
withoutwɪðˈaʊt
havinghˈævɪŋ
firstfˈɜːst
givenɡˈɪvən
andˈænd
receivedɹɪsˈiːvd
theðə
secretˈsiː.kɹɪt
signsˈaɪn
,
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
violatingvˈaɪəleɪtɪŋ
a
fundamentalfˌʌndəmˈɛntəl
principlepɹˈɪnsɪpəl
ofˈɒv
ourˈaʊə
Associationɐsˈəʊsɪˈeɪʃən
?
LUDWIG
Bybˈaɪ
theðə
mysticmˈɪstɪk
regulationɹˌɛɡjuːlˈeɪʃən
Ofˈɒv
ourˈaʊə
darkdˈɑːk
Associationɐsˈəʊsɪˈeɪʃən
,
Ereˈeə
youjˈuː
openˈəʊpən
conversationkɒnvəsˈeɪʃən
Withwˈɪð
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
kindredkˈɪndɹəd
soulsˈəʊl
,
Youjˈuː
mustmˈʌst
eatˈiːt
a
sausage-roll
!
(
Producingpɹədjˈuːsɪŋ
onewˈɒn
)
ALL
Youjˈuː
mustmˈʌst
eatˈiːt
a
sausage-roll
!
If, in turn, he eats another,
LUD
That's
a
signsˈaɪn
thatðˈæt
he's
a
brotherbɹˈʌðɐ
—
Eachˈiːtʃ
maymˈeɪ
fullyfˈʊli
trusttɹˈʌst
theðə
otherˈʌðɐ
.
Itˈɪt
isˈɪz
quaintkwˈeɪnt
andˈænd
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
drolldɹˈəʊl
,
Butbˈʌt
it's
biliousbˈɪlɪəs
onˈɒn
theðə
wholehˈəʊl
.
ALL
Veryvˈɛɹi
biliousbˈɪlɪəs
onˈɒn
theðə
wholehˈəʊl
.
LUD
It's
a
greasyɡɹˈiːzi
kindkˈaɪnd
ofˈɒv
pastyˈpeɪsti
,
Whichwˈɪtʃ
,
perhapspəhˈæps
,
a
judgementdʒˈʌdʒmənt
hastyhˈeɪsti
Mightmˈaɪt
considerkənsˈɪdɐ
ratherɹˈɑːðɐ
tastytˈeɪsti
:
Oncewˈɒns
(
totˈuː
speakspˈiːk
withoutwɪðˈaʊt
disguisedɪsɡˈaɪz
)
Itˈɪt
foundfˈaʊnd
favourfˈeɪvɐ
inˈɪn
ourˈaʊə
eyesˈaɪz
.
ALL
Itˈɪt
foundfˈaʊnd
favourfˈeɪvɐ
inˈɪn
ourˈaʊə
eyesˈaɪz
.
LUD
Butbˈʌt
whenwˈɛn
you've
beenbˈiːn
sixsˈɪks
monthsmˈʌnθs
feedingfˈiːdɪŋ
(
Asəz
wewˈiː
havehəv
)
onˈɒn
thisðˈɪs
exceedingɛksˈiːdɪŋ
Biliousbˈɪlɪəs
foodfˈuːd
,
it's
nonəʊ
ill-breeding
Ifˈɪf
atˈæt
theseðˈiːz
repulsiveɹɪpˈʌlsɪv
piespˈaɪz
Ourˈaʊə
offendedəfˈɛndɪd
gorgesɡˈɔːdʒɪz
riseɹˈaɪz
!
ALL
Ourˈaʊə
offendedəfˈɛndɪd
gorgesɡˈɔːdʒɪz
riseɹˈaɪz
!
MARTHA
Ohˈəʊ
,
botherbˈɒðɐ
theðə
secretˈsiː.kɹɪt
signsˈaɪn
!
I've
eatenˈiːtən
itˈɪt
untilʌntˈɪl
I'm
quitekwaɪt
uncomfortableʌnkˈʌmftəbəl
!
I've
givenɡˈɪvən
itˈɪt
sixsˈɪks
timestˈaɪmz
alreadyɔːlɹˈɛdi
to-daytəˈdeɪ
—
andˈænd
(
whimperingwˈɪmpəɹɪŋ
)
I
can't
eatˈiːt
anyˈɛni
breakfastbɹˈɛkfəst
!
BERTHA
Andˈænd
it's
sosˈəʊ
unwholesomeʌnhˈəʊlsʌm
.
Whywˈaɪ
,
wewˈiː
shouldʃˈʊd
allˈɔːl
bebˈiː
asəz
yellowjˈɛləʊ
asəz
frogsfɹˈɒɡz
ifˈɪf
itˈɪt
wasn't
forfˈɔː
theðə
make-upmæɪkˈɐp
!
LUD
Allˈɔːl
thisðˈɪs
isˈɪz
rankɹˈæŋk
treasontɹˈiːzən
totˈuː
theðə
causekˈɔːz
.
I
suffersˈʌfɐ
asəz
muchmˈʌtʃ
asəz
anyˈɛni
ofˈɒv
youjˈuː
.
I
loathelˈəʊð
theðə
repulsiveɹɪpˈʌlsɪv
thingθˈɪŋ
—
I
can't
contemplatekˈɒntɪmplˌeɪt
itˈɪt
withoutwɪðˈaʊt
a
shudderʃˈʌdɐ
—
butbˈʌt
I'm
a
conscientiouskˌɒnsɪˈɛnʃəs
conspirator, and if you won't give the sign I will.
LUD
(
Eatsˈiːts
sausage-roll
withwˈɪð
anˈɐn
effortˈɛfət
)
LISA
Poorpˈɔː
martyrmˈɑːtɐ
!
He's
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
atˈæt
itˈɪt
,
andˈænd
it's
a
wonderwˈʌndɐ
wherewˈeə
heˈhiː
putspʊts
itˈɪt
!
NOT
Wellwˈɛl
nownˈaʊ
,
aboutɐbˈaʊt
Troilus
andˈænd
Cressida
.
Whatwˈɒt
dodə
youjˈuː
playplˈeɪ
?
LUD
(
strugglingstɹˈʌɡlɪŋ
withwˈɪð
hishˈɪz
feelingsfˈiːlɪŋz
).
Ifˈɪf
you'll
bebˈiː
sosˈəʊ
obligingəblˈaɪdʒɪŋ
asəz
totˈuː
waitwˈeɪt
untilʌntˈɪl
I've
gotɡˈɒt
ridɹˈɪd
ofˈɒv
thisðˈɪs
feelingfˈiːlɪŋ
ofˈɒv
warmwˈɔːm
oilˈɔɪl
atˈæt
theðə
bottombˈɒtəm
ofˈɒv
mymˈaɪ
throatθɹˈəʊt
,
I'll
telltˈɛl
youjˈuː
allˈɔːl
aboutɐbˈaʊt
itˈɪt
.
(LISA gives him some brandy) Thank you, my love; it's gone.
LUD
Wellwˈɛl
,
theðə
piecepˈiːs
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
producedpɹədjˈuːst
uponəpˈɒn
a
scaleskˈeɪl
ofˈɒv
unexampled
magnificencemæɡnˈɪfɪsəns
.
Itˈɪt
isˈɪz
confidentlykˈɒnfɪdəntli
predictedpɹɪdˈɪktɪd
thatðˈæt
mymˈaɪ
appearanceɐpˈiəɹəns
asəz
Kingkˈɪŋ
Agamemnonˌæɡəˈmɛmnɒn
,
inˈɪn
a
Louislˈuːi
Quatorze
wigwˈɪɡ
,
willwˈɪl
markmˈɑːk
anˈɐn
epochˈɛpɒk
inˈɪn
theðə
theatricalθiːˈætɹɪkəl
annalsˈænəlz
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
.
I
endeavouredɛndˈɛvəd
totˈuː
persuadepəswˈeɪd
Ernestˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
Dummkopf
,
ourˈaʊə
managermˈænɪdʒɐ
,
totˈuː
lendlˈɛnd
usˈʌs
theðə
classicalklˈæsɪkəl
dressesdɹˈɛsɪz
forfˈɔː
ourˈaʊə
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
.
Thinkθˈɪŋk
ofˈɒv
theðə
effectɪfˈɛkt
ofˈɒv
a
realɹiːl
Athenianəˈθiː.ni.ən
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
processionpɹəsˈɛʃən
cavortingkɐvˈɔːtɪŋ
throughθɹˈuː
theðə
streetsstɹˈiːts
ofˈɒv
Speisesaal
!
Torchestˈɔːtʃɪz
burningbˈɜːnɪŋ
—
cymbalssˈɪmbəlz
bangingbˈæŋɪŋ
—
flutesflˈuːts
tootlingtˈuːtlɪŋ
—
citharae
twangingtwˈæŋɪŋ
—
andˈænd
a
throngθɹˈɒŋ
ofˈɒv
fiftyfˈɪfti
lovelylˈʌvli
Spartanspˈɑːtən
virginsvˈɜːdʒɪnz
caperingkˈeɪpəɹɪŋ
beforebɪfˈɔː
usˈʌs
,
allˈɔːl
downdˈaʊn
theðə
Highhˈaɪ
Streetstɹˈiːt
,
singingsˈɪŋɪŋ
"
Eloia
!
Eloia
!
Opoponax
,
Eloia
!"
Itˈɪt
wouldwˈʊd
havehəv
beenbˈiːn
tremendoustɹəmˈɛndəs
!
NOT
Andˈænd
heˈhiː
declineddɪklˈaɪnd
?
LUD
Heˈhiː
diddˈɪd
,
onˈɒn
theðə
prosaicpɹəsˈeɪɪk
groundɡɹˈaʊnd
thatðˈæt
itˈɪt
mightmˈaɪt
rainɹˈeɪn
,
andˈænd
theðə
ancientˈeɪnʃənt
Greeksɡɹiːks
didn't
carrykˈæɹi
umbrellasʌmbɹˈɛləz
!
Ifˈɪf
,
asəz
isˈɪz
confidentlykˈɒnfɪdəntli
expectedɛkspˈɛktɪd
,
Ernestˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
Dummkopf
isˈɪz
electedɪlˈɛktɪd
totˈuː
succeedsəksˈiːd
theðə
dethroneddiːθɹˈəʊnd
onewˈɒn
,
markmˈɑːk
anyˈɛni
wordswˈɜːdz
,
heˈhiː
willwˈɪl
makemˈeɪk
a
messmˈɛs
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
.
[Exit LUDWIG with LISA.
OLGA
He's
sureʃˈɔː
totˈuː
bebˈiː
electedɪlˈɛktɪd
.
Hishˈɪz
entireɛntˈaɪə
companykˈʌmpəni
hashˈæz
promisedpɹˈɒmɪsd
totˈuː
plumpplˈʌmp
forfˈɔː
himhˈɪm
onˈɒn
theðə
understandingˌʌndəstˈændɪŋ
thatðˈæt
allˈɔːl
theðə
placesplˈeɪsɪz
aboutɐbˈaʊt
theðə
Courtkˈɔːt
areə(ɹ)
filledfˈɪld
bybˈaɪ
membersmˈɛmbəz
ofˈɒv
hishˈɪz
troupetɹˈuːp
,
accordingɐkˈɔːdɪŋ
totˈuː
professionalpɹəfˈɛʃənəl
precedencepɹˈɛsɪdəns
.
ERNEST enters in great excitement.
OLGA
BERTHAbˈɜːθɐ
(
lookinglˈʊkɪŋ
offˈɒf
).
Herehˈiə
comeskˈʌmz
Ernestˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
Dummkopf
.
Nownˈaʊ
wewˈiː
shallʃˈæl
knownˈəʊ
allˈɔːl
aboutɐbˈaʊt
itˈɪt
!
ALL
Wellwˈɛl
—
what's
theðə
newsnjˈuːz
?
Howhˈaʊ
isˈɪz
theðə
electionɪlˈɛkʃən
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
?
ERN
Ohˈəʊ
,
it's
a
certaintysˈɜːtənti
—
a
practicalpɹˈæktɪkəl
certaintysˈɜːtənti
!
Twotˈuː
ofˈɒv
theðə
candidateskˈændɪdˌeɪts
havehəv
beenbˈiːn
arrestedɐɹˈɛstɪd
forfˈɔː
debtdˈɛt
,
andˈænd
theðə
thirdθˈɜːd
isˈɪz
a
babybˈeɪbi
inˈɪn
armsˈɑːmz
—
sosˈəʊ
,
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
keepkˈiːp
yourjˈɔː
promisespɹˈɒmɪsɪz
,
andˈænd
votevˈəʊt
solidsˈɒlɪd
,
I'm
cocksurekˌɒkʃˈɔː
ofˈɒv
electionɪlˈɛkʃən
!
OLGA
Trusttɹˈʌst
totˈuː
usˈʌs
.
Butbˈʌt
youjˈuː
rememberɹɪmˈɛmbɐ
theðə
conditionskəndˈɪʃənz
?
ERN
Yesjˈɛs
—
allˈɔːl
ofˈɒv
youjˈuː
shallʃˈæl
bebˈiː
providedpɹəvˈaɪdɪd
forfˈɔː
,
forfˈɔː
lifelˈaɪf
.
Everyˈɛvɹi
manmˈæn
shallʃˈæl
bebˈiː
ennobledɛnˈəʊbəld
—
everyˈɛvɹi
ladylˈeɪdi
shallʃˈæl
havehəv
unlimitedʌnlˈɪmɪtɪd
creditkɹˈɛdɪt
atˈæt
theðə
Courtkˈɔːt
Milliner's
,
andˈænd
allˈɔːl
salariessˈæləɹiz
shallʃˈæl
bebˈiː
paidpˈeɪd
weeklywˈiːkli
inˈɪn
advanceɐdvˈæns
!
GRET
Ohˈəʊ
,
it's
quitekwaɪt
clearklˈiə
heˈhiː
knowsnˈəʊz
howhˈaʊ
totˈuː
ruleɹˈuːl
a
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchydˈʌtʃi
!
ERN
Ruleɹˈuːl
a
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchydˈʌtʃi
?
Whywˈaɪ
,
mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
girlɡˈɜːl
,
forfˈɔː
tentˈɛn
yearsjˈiəz
pastpˈɑːst
I've
ruledɹˈuːld
a
theatricalθiːˈætɹɪkəl
companykˈʌmpəni
!
A
manmˈæn
whohˈuː
cankˈæn
dodə
thatðˈæt
cankˈæn
ruleɹˈuːl
anythingˈɛnɪθˌɪŋ
!
ERNEST
Werewˈɜː
I
a
kingkˈɪŋ
inˈɪn
veryvˈɛɹi
truthtɹˈuːθ
,
Andˈænd
hadhˈæd
a
sonsˈʌn
—
a
guilelessɡˈaɪlləs
youthjˈuːθ
—
Inˈɪn
probablepɹˈɒbəbəl
successionsəksˈɛʃən
;
Totˈuː
teachtˈiːtʃ
himhˈɪm
patiencepˈeɪʃəns
,
teachtˈiːtʃ
himhˈɪm
tacttˈækt
,
Howhˈaʊ
promptlypɹˈɒmptli
inˈɪn
a
fixfˈɪks
totˈuː
actˈækt
,
He should adopt, in point of fact,
ERNEST
A
manager's
professionpɹəfˈɛʃən
.
Totˈuː
thatðˈæt
conditionkəndˈɪʃən
heˈhiː
shouldʃˈʊd
stoopstˈuːp
(
Despitedɪspˈaɪt
a
tootˈuː
fondfˈɒnd
motherˈmʌðə
),
Withwˈɪð
eightˈeɪt
orˈɔː
tentˈɛn
"
starsstˈɑːz
"
inˈɪn
hishˈɪz
troupetɹˈuːp
,
Allˈɔːl
jealousdʒˈɛləs
ofˈɒv
eachˈiːtʃ
otherˈʌðɐ
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
theðə
manmˈæn
whohˈuː
cankˈæn
ruleɹˈuːl
a
theatricalθiːˈætɹɪkəl
crewkɹˈuː
,
Eachˈiːtʃ
membermˈɛmbɐ
a
geniusdʒˈiːnɪəs
(
andˈænd
somesˈʌm
ofˈɒv
themðˈɛm
twotˈuː
),
Andˈænd
managemˈænɪdʒ
totˈuː
humourhjˈuːmɐ
themðˈɛm
,
littlelˈɪtəl
andˈænd
greatɡɹˈeɪt
,
Cankˈæn
governɡˈʌvən
thisðˈɪs
tuppennytˈʌpənˌi
Statestˈeɪt
!
ALL
Ohˈəʊ
,
theðə
manmˈæn
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
Bothbˈəʊθ
A
andˈænd
B
rehearsalɹɪhˈɜːsəl
slightslˈaɪt
—
Theyðˈeɪ
saysˈeɪ
they'll
bebˈiː
"
allˈɔːl
rightɹˈaɪt
atˈæt
nightnˈaɪt
"
(
They've
bothbˈəʊθ
totˈuː
goɡˈəʊ
totˈuː
schoolskˈuːl
yetjˈɛt
);
C
inˈɪn
eachˈiːtʃ
actˈækt
mustmˈʌst
changetʃˈeɪndʒ
herhˈɜː
dressdɹˈɛs
,
D
willwˈɪl
attemptɐtˈɛmpt
totˈuː
"
squareskwˈeə
theðə
presspɹˈɛs
";
E
won't
playplˈeɪ
Romeoɹˈəʊmɪˌəʊ
unlessʌnlˈɛs
Hishˈɪz
grandmotherɡɹˈændmʌðɐ
playsplˈeɪz
Julietˈd͡ʒuːlɪɛt
;
F
claimsklˈeɪmz
allˈɔːl
hoydensˈhɔɪdən
asəz
herhˈɜː
rightsɹˈaɪts
(
She's
playedplˈeɪd
themðˈɛm
thirtyθˈɜːti
seasonssˈiːzənz
);
Andˈænd
G
mustmˈʌst
showʃˈəʊ
herselfhɜːsˈɛlf
inˈɪn
tightstˈaɪts
Forfˈɔː
twotˈuː
convincingkənvˈɪnsɪŋ
reasonsɹˈiːzənz
—
Twotˈuː
veryvˈɛɹi
well-shaped
reasonsɹˈiːzənz
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
theðə
manmˈæn
whohˈuː
cankˈæn
drivedɹˈaɪv
a
theatricalθiːˈætɹɪkəl
teamtˈiːm
,
Withwˈɪð
wheelerswˈiːləz
andˈænd
leaderslˈiːdəz
inˈɪn
orderˈɔːdɐ
supremesuːpɹˈiːm
,
Cankˈæn
governɡˈʌvən
andˈænd
ruleɹˈuːl
,
withwˈɪð
a
wavewˈeɪv
ofˈɒv
hishˈɪz
finfˈɪn
,
Allˈɔːl
Europeˈjʊə.ɹəp
—
withwˈɪð
Irelandˈaɪə(ɹ)lənd
thrownθɹˈəʊn
inˈɪn
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
theðə
manmˈæn
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
[Exeunt all but ERNEST.
ERN
Electedɪlˈɛktɪd
bybˈaɪ
mymˈaɪ
fellow-conspirators
totˈuː
bebˈiː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
asəz
soonsˈuːn
asəz
theðə
contemptiblekəntˈɛmptəbəl
littlelˈɪtəl
occupantˈɒkjʊpənt
ofˈɒv
theðə
historicalhɪstˈɒɹɪkəl
throneθɹˈəʊn
isˈɪz
deposeddɪpˈəʊzd
—
herehˈiə
isˈɪz
promotionpɹəmˈəʊʃən
indeedˌɪndˈiːd
!
Whywˈaɪ
,
insteadɪnstˈɛd
ofˈɒv
playingplˈeɪɪŋ
Troilus
ofˈɒv
Troytɹˈɔɪ
forfˈɔː
a
monthmˈʌnθ
,
I
shallʃˈæl
playplˈeɪ
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
forfˈɔː
a
lifetimelˈaɪftaɪm
!
Yetjˈɛt
,
aməm
I
happyhˈæpi
?
Nonəʊ
—
farfˈɑː
fromfɹˈɒm
happyhˈæpi
!
Theðə
lovelylˈʌvli
Englishˈɪŋɡlɪʃ
comdienne
—
theðə
beautifulbjˈuːtɪfəl
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
,
whosehˈuːz
dramaticdɹəmˈætɪk
abilityɐbˈɪlətˌi
isˈɪz
sosˈəʊ
overwhelmingˌəʊvəwˈɛlmɪŋ
thatðˈæt
ourˈaʊə
audiencesˈɔːdiənsɪz
forgivefəɡˈɪv
evenˈiːvən
herhˈɜː
strongstɹˈɒŋ
Englishˈɪŋɡlɪʃ
accentˈak.sənt
—
thatðˈæt
rareɹˈeə
andˈænd
radiantɹˈeɪdiənt
beingbˈiːɪŋ
treatstɹˈiːts
mymˈaɪ
respectfulɹɪspˈɛktfəl
advancesɐdvˈænsɪz
withwˈɪð
disdaindɪsdˈeɪn
unutterableʌnˈʌtəɹəbəl
!
Andˈænd
yetjˈɛt
,
whohˈuː
knowsnˈəʊz
?
Sheʃˈiː
isˈɪz
haughtyhˈɔːti
andˈænd
ambitiousæmbˈɪʃəs
,
andˈænd
itˈɪt
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
thatðˈæt
theðə
splendidsplˈɛndɪd
changetʃˈeɪndʒ
inˈɪn
mymˈaɪ
fortunesfˈɔːtʃuːnz
maymˈeɪ
workwˈɜːk
a
correspondingkˌɒɹɪspˈɒndɪŋ
changetʃˈeɪndʒ
inˈɪn
herhˈɜː
feelingsfˈiːlɪŋz
towardstʊwˈɔːdz
memˈiː
!
Enter JULIA JELLICOE.
JULIA
Herr
Dummkopf
,
a
wordwˈɜːd
withwˈɪð
youjˈuː
,
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
pleaseplˈiːz
.
ERN
Beautifulbjˈuːtɪfəl
Englishˈɪŋɡlɪʃ
maidenmˈeɪdən
—
JULIA
Nonəʊ
complimentsˈkɑmplɪmənts
,
I
begbˈɛɡ
.
I
desiredɪzˈaɪə
totˈuː
speakspˈiːk
withwˈɪð
youjˈuː
onˈɒn
a
purelypjˈɔːli
professionalpɹəfˈɛʃənəl
mattermˈætɐ
,
sosˈəʊ
wewˈiː
willwˈɪl
,
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
pleaseplˈiːz
,
dispensedɪspˈɛns
withwˈɪð
allusionsɐlˈuːʒənz
totˈuː
mymˈaɪ
personalpˈɜːsənəl
appearanceɐpˈiəɹəns
,
whichwˈɪtʃ
cankˈæn
onlyˈəʊnli
tendtˈɛnd
totˈuː
widenwˈaɪdən
THE
breachbɹˈiːtʃ
whichwˈɪtʃ
alreadyɔːlɹˈɛdi
existsɛɡzˈɪsts
betweenbɪtwˈiːn
usˈʌs
.
(aside).
ERN
Mymˈaɪ
onlyˈəʊnli
hopehˈəʊp
shatteredʃˈætəd
!
Theðə
haughtyhˈɔːti
Londonerˈlʌn.dən.ə(ɹ)
stillstˈɪl
despisesdɪspˈaɪzɪz
memˈiː
!
(
Aloudɐlˈaʊd
)
Itˈɪt
shallʃˈæl
bebˈiː
asəz
youjˈuː
willwˈɪl
.
JULIA
I
understandˌʌndəstˈænd
thatðˈæt
theðə
conspiracykənspˈɪɹəsi
inˈɪn
whichwˈɪtʃ
wewˈiː
areə(ɹ)
allˈɔːl
concernedkənsˈɜːnd
isˈɪz
totˈuː
developdɪvˈɛləp
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
andˈænd
thatðˈæt
theðə
companykˈʌmpəni
isˈɪz
likelylˈaɪkli
totˈuː
electɪlˈɛkt
youjˈuː
totˈuː
theðə
throneθɹˈəʊn
onˈɒn
theðə
understandingˌʌndəstˈændɪŋ
thatðˈæt
theðə
postspˈəʊsts
aboutɐbˈaʊt
theðə
Courtkˈɔːt
areə(ɹ)
totˈuː
bebˈiː
filledfˈɪld
bybˈaɪ
membersmˈɛmbəz
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
theatricalθiːˈætɹɪkəl
troupetɹˈuːp
,
accordingɐkˈɔːdɪŋ
totˈuː
theirðˈeə
professionalpɹəfˈɛʃənəl
importanceɪmpˈɔːtəns
.
ERN
Thatðˈæt
isˈɪz
sosˈəʊ
.
JULIA
Thenðˈɛn
allˈɔːl
I
cankˈæn
saysˈeɪ
isˈɪz
thatðˈæt
itˈɪt
placesplˈeɪsɪz
memˈiː
inˈɪn
anˈɐn
extremelyɛkstɹˈiːmli
awkwardˈɔːkwəd
positionpəzˈɪʃən
.
ERN
(
veryvˈɛɹi
depresseddɪpɹˈɛst
).
I
don't
seesˈiː
howhˈaʊ
itˈɪt
concernskənsˈɜːnz
youjˈuː
.
JULIA
Whywˈaɪ
,
blessblˈɛs
mymˈaɪ
hearthˈɑːt
,
don't
youjˈuː
seesˈiː
thatðˈæt
,
asəz
yourjˈɔː
leadingˈliːdɪŋ
ladylˈeɪdi
,
I
aməm
boundbˈaʊnd
underˈʌndɐ
a
serioussˈiəɹɪəs
penaltypˈɛnəlti
totˈuː
playplˈeɪ
theðə
leadingˈliːdɪŋ
partpˈɑːt
inˈɪn
allˈɔːl
yourjˈɔː
productionspɹədˈʌkʃənz
?
ERN
Wellwˈɛl
?
JULIA
Whywˈaɪ
,
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
theðə
leadingˈliːdɪŋ
partpˈɑːt
inˈɪn
thisðˈɪs
productionpɹədˈʌkʃən
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
!
ERN
Mymˈaɪ
wifewˈaɪf
?
JULIA
Thatðˈæt
isˈɪz
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
waywˈeɪ
ofˈɒv
expressingɛkspɹˈɛsɪŋ
theðə
samesˈeɪm
ideaaɪdˈiə
.
(aside—delighted).
ERN
I
scarcelyskˈeəsli
dareddˈeəd
evenˈiːvən
totˈuː
hopehˈəʊp
forfˈɔː
thisðˈɪs
!
JULIA
Ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
asəz
yourjˈɔː
leadingˈliːdɪŋ
ladylˈeɪdi
,
you'll
bebˈiː
meanmˈiːn
enoughɪnˈʌf
totˈuː
holdhˈəʊld
memˈiː
totˈuː
theðə
termstˈɜːmz
ofˈɒv
mymˈaɪ
agreementɐɡɹˈiːmənt
.
Ohˈəʊ
,
that's
sosˈəʊ
likelˈaɪk
a
manmˈæn
!
Wellwˈɛl
,
I
supposesʌpˈəʊz
there's
nonəʊ
helphˈɛlp
forfˈɔː
itˈɪt
—
I
shallʃˈæl
havehəv
totˈuː
dodə
itˈɪt
!
(aside).
ERN
She's
minemˈaɪn
!
(
Aloudɐlˈaʊd
)
Butbˈʌt
—
dodə
youjˈuː
reallyɹˈiəli
thinkθˈɪŋk
youjˈuː
wouldwˈʊd
carekˈeə
totˈuː
playplˈeɪ
thatðˈæt
partpˈɑːt
?
(
Takingtˈeɪkɪŋ
herhˈɜː
handhˈænd
)
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
withdrawingwɪðdɹˈɔːɹɪŋ
itˈɪt
).
Carekˈeə
totˈuː
playplˈeɪ
itˈɪt
?
Certainlysˈɜːtənli
notnˈɒt
—
butbˈʌt
whatwˈɒt
aməm
I
totˈuː
dodə
?
Businessbˈɪznəs
isˈɪz
businessbˈɪznəs
,
andˈænd
I
aməm
boundbˈaʊnd
bybˈaɪ
theðə
termstˈɜːmz
ofˈɒv
mymˈaɪ
agreementɐɡɹˈiːmənt
.
It's
forfˈɔː
a
longlˈɒŋ
runɹˈʌn
,
mindmˈaɪnd
—
a
runɹˈʌn
thatðˈæt
maymˈeɪ
lastlˈɑːst
manymˈɛni
,
manymˈɛni
yearsjˈiəz
—
nonəʊ
understudyˌʌndəstˈʌdi
—
andˈænd
oncewˈɒns
embarkedɛmbˈɑːkt
uponəpˈɒn
there's
nonəʊ
throwing it up.
JULIA
Ohˈəʊ
,
we're
usedjuːzd
totˈuː
theseðˈiːz
longlˈɒŋ
runsɹˈʌnz
inˈɪn
Englandˈɪŋɡlənd
:
theyðˈeɪ
areə(ɹ)
theðə
cursekˈɜːs
ofˈɒv
theðə
stagestˈeɪdʒ
—
butbˈʌt
,
youjˈuː
seesˈiː
,
I've
nonəʊ
optionˈɒpʃən
.
ERN
Youjˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
theðə
partpˈɑːt
ofˈɒv
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
goodɡˈʊd
enoughɪnˈʌf
forfˈɔː
youjˈuː
?
JULIA
Ohˈəʊ
,
I
thinkθˈɪŋk
sosˈəʊ
.
It's
a
veryvˈɛɹi
goodɡˈʊd
partpˈɑːt
inˈɪn
Gerolstein
,
andˈænd
oughtn't
totˈuː
bebˈiː
a
badbˈæd
onewˈɒn
inˈɪn
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
.
Whywˈaɪ
,
whatwˈɒt
diddˈɪd
youjˈuː
supposesʌpˈəʊz
I
waswˈɒz
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
totˈuː
playplˈeɪ
?
ERN
(
keepingkˈiːpɪŋ
upˈʌp
a
showʃˈəʊ
ofˈɒv
reluctanceɹɪlˈʌktəns
)
Butbˈʌt
,
consideringkənsˈɪdəɹɪŋ
yourjˈɔː
strongstɹˈɒŋ
personalpˈɜːsənəl
dislikedɪslˈaɪk
totˈuː
memˈiː
andˈænd
yourjˈɔː
persistentpəsˈɪstənt
rejectionɹɪdʒˈɛkʃən
of my repeated offers, won't you find it difficult to throw
ERN
yourselfjɔːsˈɛlf
intoˈɪntʊ
theðə
partpˈɑːt
withwˈɪð
allˈɔːl
theðə
impassionedɪmpˈæʃənd
enthusiasmɛnθjˈuːzɪˌæzəm
thatðˈæt
theðə
characterkˈæɹɪktɐ
seemssˈiːmz
totˈuː
demanddɪmˈɑːnd
?
Rememberɹɪmˈɛmbɐ
,
it's
a
stronglystɹˈɒŋli
emotionalɪmˈəʊʃənəl
partpˈɑːt
,
involvingɪnvˈɒlvɪŋ
longlˈɒŋ
andˈænd
repeatedɹɪpˈiːtɪd
scenessˈiːnz
ofˈɒv
raptureɹˈæptʃɐ
,
tendernesstˈɛndənəs
,
adorationˌædəɹˈeɪʃən
,
devotiondɪvˈəʊʃən
—
allˈɔːl
inˈɪn
luxuriantlˈʌɡʒjʊɹˌiənt
excessˈɛksɛs
,
andˈænd
allˈɔːl
ofˈɒv
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
demonstrativedəmˈɒnstɹətˌɪv
descriptiondɪskɹˈɪpʃən
.
JULIA
Mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
sirsˈɜː
,
throughoutθɹuːˈaʊt
mymˈaɪ
careerkəɹˈiə
I
havehəv
mademˈeɪd
itˈɪt
a
ruleɹˈuːl
nevernˈɛvɐ
totˈuː
allowɐlˈaʊ
privatepɹˈaɪvət
feelingfˈiːlɪŋ
totˈuː
interfereˌɪntəfˈiə
withwˈɪð
mymˈaɪ
professionalpɹəfˈɛʃənəl
dutiesdjˈuːtɪz
.
Youjˈuː
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
quitekwaɪt
sureʃˈɔː
thatðˈæt
(
howeverhaʊˈɛvɐ
distastefuldɪstˈeɪstfəl
theðə
partpˈɑːt
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
)
ifˈɪf
I
undertakeˌʌndətˈeɪk
itˈɪt
,
I
shallʃˈæl
considerkənsˈɪdɐ
myself professionally bound to throw myself into it with all the
JULIA
ardourˈɑːdɐ
atˈæt
mymˈaɪ
commandkəmˈɑːnd
.
(aside—with effusion).
ERN
I'm
theðə
happiesthˈæpɪəst
fellowfˈɛləʊ
aliveɐlˈaɪv
!
(
Aloudɐlˈaʊd
)
Nownˈaʊ
—
wouldwˈʊd
youjˈuː
havehəv
anyˈɛni
objectionɒbdʒˈɛkʃən
—
totˈuː
—
totˈuː
giveɡˈɪv
memˈiː
somesˈʌm
ideaaɪdˈiə
—
ifˈɪf
it's
onlyˈəʊnli
a
meremˈiə
sketchskˈɛtʃ
—
asəz
totˈuː
howhˈaʊ
youjˈuː
wouldwˈʊd
playplˈeɪ
itˈɪt
?
Itˈɪt
wouldwˈʊd
bebˈiː
reallyɹˈiəli
interestingˈɪntɹəstɪŋ
—
totˈuː
memˈiː
—
totˈuː
knownˈəʊ
yourjˈɔː
conceptionkənsˈɛpʃən
ofˈɒv
—
ofˈɒv
—
theðə
partpˈɑːt
ofˈɒv
mymˈaɪ
wifewˈaɪf
.
JULIA
Howhˈaʊ
wouldwˈʊd
I
playplˈeɪ
itˈɪt
?
Nownˈaʊ
,
letlˈɛt
memˈiː
seesˈiː
—
letlˈɛt
memˈiː
seesˈiː
.
(
Consideringkənsˈɪdəɹɪŋ
)
Ahˈɑː
,
I
havehəv
itˈɪt
!
Howhˈaʊ
wouldwˈʊd
I
playplˈeɪ
thisðˈɪs
partpˈɑːt
—
Theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duke's
Bridebɹˈaɪd
?
Allˈɔːl
rancourɹˈɑːnkɐ
inˈɪn
mymˈaɪ
hearthˈɑːt
I'd duly hide—
JULIA
I'd
drivedɹˈaɪv
itˈɪt
fromfɹˈɒm
mymˈaɪ
recollectionɹɪkəlˈɛkʃən
Andˈænd
'whelm
youjˈuː
withwˈɪð
a
mockmˈɒk
affectionɐfˈɛkʃən
,
Wellwˈɛl
calculatedkˈælkjʊlˌeɪtɪd
totˈuː
defydɪfˈaɪ
detectiondɪtˈɛkʃən
—
That's
howhˈaʊ
I'd
playplˈeɪ
thisðˈɪs
partpˈɑːt
—
Theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duke's
Bridebɹˈaɪd
.
Withwˈɪð
manymˈɛni
a
winsomewˈɪnsʌm
smilesmˈaɪl
I'd
witchwˈɪtʃ
andˈænd
woowˈuː
;
Withwˈɪð
gayɡˈeɪ
andˈænd
girlishɡˈɜːlɪʃ
guileɡˈaɪl
I'd
frenzyfɹˈɛnzi
youjˈuː
—
I'd
maddenmˈædən
youjˈuː
withwˈɪð
mymˈaɪ
caressingkəɹˈɛsɪŋ
,
Likelˈaɪk
turtletˈɜːtəl
,
herhˈɜː
firstfˈɜːst
lovelˈʌv
confessingkənfˈɛsɪŋ
—
Thatðˈæt
itˈɪt
waswˈɒz
"
mockmˈɒk
",
nonəʊ
mortalmˈɔːtəl
wouldwˈʊd
bebˈiː
guessingɡˈɛsɪŋ
,
Withwˈɪð
sosˈəʊ
muchmˈʌtʃ
winsomewˈɪnsʌm
wilewˈaɪl
I'd
witchwˈɪtʃ
andˈænd
woowˈuː
!
Diddˈɪd
anyˈɛni
otherˈʌðɐ
maidmˈeɪd
Withwˈɪð
youjˈuː
succeedsəksˈiːd
,
I'd
pinchpˈɪntʃ
theðə
forwardfˈɔːwəd
jadedʒˈeɪd
—
I
wouldwˈʊd
indeedˌɪndˈiːd
!
Withwˈɪð
jealousdʒˈɛləs
frenzyfɹˈɛnzi
agitatedˈædʒɪtˌeɪtɪd
(
Whichwˈɪtʃ
wouldwˈʊd
,
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
bebˈiː
simulatedsˈɪmjʊlˌeɪtɪd
),
I'd
makemˈeɪk
herhˈɜː
wishwˈɪʃ
she'd
nevernˈɛvɐ
beenbˈiːn
createdkɹiːˈeɪtɪd
—
Diddˈɪd
anyˈɛni
otherˈʌðɐ
maidmˈeɪd
Withwˈɪð
youjˈuː
succeedsəksˈiːd
!
Andˈænd
shouldʃˈʊd
thereðˈeə
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
memˈiː
,
Somesˈʌm
summerssˈʌməz
hencehˈɛns
,
Inˈɪn
allˈɔːl
theðə
childishtʃˈaɪldɪʃ
gleeɡlˈiː
Ofˈɒv
innocenceˈɪnəsəns
,
Fairfˈeə
babesbˈeɪbz
,
aglowɐɡlˈəʊ
withwˈɪð
beautybjˈuːti
vernalvˈɜːnəl
,
Mymˈaɪ
hearthˈɑːt
wouldwˈʊd
boundbˈaʊnd
withwˈɪð
joydʒˈɔɪ
diurnaldˈɪɜːnəl
!
Thisðˈɪs
sweetswˈiːt
displaydɪsplˈeɪ
ofˈɒv
sympathysˈɪmpəθi
maternalmətˈɜːnəl
,
Wellwˈɛl
,
thatðˈæt
wouldwˈʊd
alsoˈɒlsəʊ
bebˈiː
A
meremˈiə
pretencepɹɪtˈɛns
!
Mymˈaɪ
histrionichˌɪstɹɪˈɒnɪk
artˈɑːt
Thoughðˈəʊ
youjˈuː
deridedɪɹˈaɪd
,
That's
howhˈaʊ
I'd
playplˈeɪ
thatðˈæt
partpˈɑːt
—
Theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duke's
Bridebɹˈaɪd
!
Ohˈəʊ
joydʒˈɔɪ
!
whenwˈɛn
twotˈuː
glowingɡlˈəʊɪŋ
youngjˈʌŋ
Mymˈaɪ
boybˈɔɪ
,
whenwˈɛn
twotˈuː
glowingɡlˈəʊɪŋ
heartshˈɑːts
,
youngjˈʌŋ
heartshˈɑːts
From the rise of the curtain, From the rise of the
JULIA
curtainkˈɜːtən
,
Thus throw themselves into their Thus throw themselves
JULIA
intoˈɪntʊ
theirðˈeə
partspˈɑːts
,
partspˈɑːts
,
Successsəksˈɛs
isˈɪz
mostmˈəʊst
certainsˈɜːtən
!
Successsəksˈɛs
isˈɪz
mostmˈəʊst
certainsˈɜːtən
!
Ifˈɪf
theðə
roleɹˈəʊl
you're
preparedpɹɪpˈeəd
totˈuː
endowɛndˈaʊ
Theðə
roleɹˈəʊl
I'm
preparedpɹɪpˈeəd
totˈuː
endowɛndˈaʊ
Withwˈɪð
suchsˈʌtʃ
delicatedˈɛlɪkət
touchestˈʌtʃɪz
,
Withwˈɪð
mostmˈəʊst
delicatedˈɛlɪkət
touch-
esˈiːz
,
Bybˈaɪ
theðə
heavenhˈɛvən
aboveəbˈʌv
usˈʌs
,
I
vowvˈaʊ
Bybˈaɪ
theðə
heavenhˈɛvən
aboveəbˈʌv
usˈʌs
,
I
vowvˈaʊ
Youjˈuː
shallʃˈæl
bebˈiː
mymˈaɪ
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
!
I
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
yourjˈɔː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
!
Dance
Enter all the Chorus with LUDWIG, NOTARY,
I
andˈænd
LISAˈliːsə
—
allˈɔːl
greatlyɡɹˈeɪtli
agitatedˈædʒɪtˌeɪtɪd
.
CHORUS
Mymˈaɪ
goodnessɡˈʊdnəs
memˈiː
!
Whatwˈɒt
shallʃˈæl
wewˈiː
dodə
?
Whywˈaɪ
,
whatwˈɒt
a
dreadfuldɹˈɛdfəl
situationsˌɪtʃuːˈeɪʃən
!
(
Totˈuː
LUDlʌd
)
It's
allˈɔːl
yourjˈɔː
faultfˈɒlt
,
youjˈuː
boobybˈuːbi
youjˈuː
—
youjˈuː
lumplˈʌmp
ofˈɒv
indiscrimination
!
I'm
sureʃˈɔː
I
don't
knownˈəʊ
wherewˈeə
totˈuː
goɡˈəʊ
—
it's
putpʊt
memˈiː
intoˈɪntʊ
suchsˈʌtʃ
a
tetterˈtɛtə
—
Butbˈʌt
thisðˈɪs
atˈæt
allˈɔːl
eventsɪvˈɛnts
I
knownˈəʊ
—
theðə
soonersˈuːnɐ
wewˈiː
areə(ɹ)
offˈɒf
,
theðə
betterbˈɛtɐ
!
ERN
Whatwˈɒt
meansmˈiːnz
thisðˈɪs
agitato
?
Whatwˈɒt
d'ye
seeksˈiːk
?
Asəz
yourjˈɔː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
electɪlˈɛkt
I
bidbˈɪd
youjˈuː
speakspˈiːk
!
LUDWIG
Tentˈɛn
minutesmˈɪnɪts
sincesˈɪns
I
metmˈɛt
a
chaptʃˈæp
Whohˈuː
bowedbaʊd
anˈɐn
easyˈiːzi
salutationsˌæluːtˈeɪʃən
—
Thinksθˈɪŋks
I
,
"
Thisðˈɪs
gentlemandʒˈɛntəlmən
,
mayhapˈmeɪhæp
,
Belongsbɪlˈɒŋz
totˈuː
ourˈaʊə
Associationɐsˈəʊsɪˈeɪʃən
.
"
Butbˈʌt
,
onˈɒn
theðə
wholehˈəʊl
,
Uncertainʌnsˈɜːtən
yetjˈɛt
,
A
sausage-roll
I
tooktˈʊk
andˈænd
eatˈiːt
—
Thatðˈæt
chaptʃˈæp
repliedɹɪplˈaɪd
(
I
don't
embellishɛmbˈɛlɪʃ
)
Bybˈaɪ
eatingˈiːtɪŋ
threeθɹˈiː
withwˈɪð
obviousˈɒbvɪəs
relishɹˈɛlɪʃ
.
CHORUSkˈɔːɹəs
(
angrilyˈæŋɡɹɪli
).
Whywˈaɪ
,
graciousɡɹˈeɪʃəs
powerspˈaʊəz
,
Nonəʊ
chumtʃˈʌm
ofˈɒv
oursˈaʊəz
Couldkˈʊd
eatˈiːt
threeθɹˈiː
sausage-rolls
withwˈɪð
relishɹˈɛlɪʃ
!
LUD
Quitekwaɪt
reassuredɹˌiːəʃjˈɔːd
,
I
letlˈɛt
himhˈɪm
knownˈəʊ
Ourˈaʊə
plotplˈɒt
—
eachˈiːtʃ
incidentˈɪnsɪdənt
explainingɛksplˈeɪnɪŋ
;
Thatðˈæt
strangerstɹˈeɪndʒɐ
chuckledtʃˈʌkəld
muchmˈʌtʃ
,
asəz
thoughðˈəʊ
Heˈhiː
thoughtθˈɔːt
memˈiː
highlyhˈaɪli
entertainingˌɛntətˈeɪnɪŋ
.
I
toldtˈəʊld
himhˈɪm
allˈɔːl
,
Bothbˈəʊθ
badbˈæd
andˈænd
goodɡˈʊd
;
I
badebˈeɪd
himhˈɪm
callkˈɔːl
—
Heˈhiː
saidsˈɛd
heˈhiː
wouldwˈʊd
:
I
addedˈædɪd
muchmˈʌtʃ
—
theðə
moremˈɔː
I
muckledˈmʌkəl
,
Theðə
moremˈɔː
thatðˈæt
chucklingtʃˈʌklɪŋ
chummytʃˈʌmi
chuckledtʃˈʌkəld
!
ALLˈɔːl
(
angrilyˈæŋɡɹɪli
).
A
batbˈæt
couldkˈʊd
seesˈiː
Heˈhiː
couldn't
bebˈiː
A
chumtʃˈʌm
ofˈɒv
oursˈaʊəz
ifˈɪf
heˈhiː
chuckledtʃˈʌkəld
!
Wellwˈɛl
,
asəz
I
bowedbaʊd
totˈuː
hishˈɪz
applauseɐplˈɔːz
,
Downdˈaʊn
droppeddɹˈɒpt
heˈhiː
withwˈɪð
hysterichɪstˈɛɹɪk
bellowbˈɛləʊ
—
Andˈænd
thatðˈæt
seemedsˈiːmd
rightɹˈaɪt
enoughɪnˈʌf
,
becausebɪkˈʌz
I
aməm
a
devilishdˈɛvɪlɪʃ
funnyfˈʌni
fellowfˈɛləʊ
.
Thenðˈɛn
suddenlysˈʌdənli
,
Asəz
stillstˈɪl
heˈhiː
squealedskwˈiːld
,
Itˈɪt
flashedflˈæʃt
onˈɒn
memˈiː
Thatðˈæt
I'd
revealedɹɪvˈiːld
Ourˈaʊə
plotplˈɒt
,
withwˈɪð
allˈɔːl
detailsdˈiːteɪlz
effectiveɪfˈɛktɪv
,
Totˈuː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
Rudolph's
ownˈəʊn
detectivedɪtˈɛktɪv
!
ALL
Whatwˈɒt
follyfˈɒli
fellfˈɛl
,
Totˈuː
goɡˈəʊ
andˈænd
telltˈɛl
Ourˈaʊə
plotplˈɒt
totˈuː
anyˈɛni
one's
detectivedɪtˈɛktɪv
!
CHORUS
(
Attackingɐtˈækɪŋ
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
)
Youjˈuː
boobybˈuːbi
densedˈɛns
—
Youjˈuː
oafˈəʊf
immenseɪmˈɛns
,
Withwˈɪð
nonəʊ
pretencepɹɪtˈɛns
Totˈuː
commonkˈɒmən
sensesˈɛns
!
A
stupidstjˈuːpɪd
muffmˈʌf
Who's
mademˈeɪd
ofˈɒv
stuffstˈʌf
Notnˈɒt
worthwˈɜːθ
a
puffpˈʌf
Ofˈɒv
candle-snuff
!
Packpˈæk
upˈʌp
atˈæt
oncewˈɒns
andˈænd
offˈɒf
wewˈiː
goɡˈəʊ
,
unlessʌnlˈɛs
we're
anxiousˈæŋʃəs
totˈuː
exhibitɛɡzˈɪbɪt
Ourˈaʊə
fairyfˈeəɹi
formsfˈɔːmz
allˈɔːl
inˈɪn
a
rowˈɹəʊ
,
strungstɹˈʌŋ
upˈʌp
uponəpˈɒn
theðə
Castlekˈɑːsəl
gibbetdʒˈɪbɪt
!
[Exeunt Chorus.
CHORUS
Manent
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
,
LISAˈliːsə
,
ERNESTˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
,
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
,
andˈænd
NOTARYnˈəʊtəɹi
.
JULIA
Wellwˈɛl
,
a
nicenaɪs
messmˈɛs
you've
gotɡˈɒt
usˈʌs
intoˈɪntʊ
!
There's
anˈɐn
endˈɛnd
ofˈɒv
ourˈaʊə
preciouspɹˈɛʃəs
plotplˈɒt
!
Allˈɔːl
upˈʌp
—
poppˈɒp
—
fizzlefˈɪzəl
—
bangbˈæŋ
—
donedˈʌn
forfˈɔː
!
LUD
Yesjˈɛs
,
butbˈʌt
—
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!—
fancyfˈænsi
mymˈaɪ
choosingtʃˈuːzɪŋ
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duke's
privatepɹˈaɪvət
detectivedɪtˈɛktɪv
,
ofˈɒv
allˈɔːl
menmˈɛn
,
totˈuː
makemˈeɪk
a
confidantkˈɒnfɪdˌænt
ofˈɒv
!
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
,
it's
reallyɹˈiəli
devilishdˈɛvɪlɪʃ
funnyfˈʌni
!
ERN
(
angrilyˈæŋɡɹɪli
).
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
,
it's
extremelyɛkstɹˈiːmli
injudiciousɪndʒuːdˈɪʃəs
totˈuː
admitɐdmˈɪt
intoˈɪntʊ
a
conspiracykənspˈɪɹəsi
everyˈɛvɹi
pudding-headed
baboonbæbˈuːn
whohˈuː
presentsˈpɹɛzənts
himselfhɪmsˈɛlf
!
LUD
Yesjˈɛs
—
I
shouldʃˈʊd
nevernˈɛvɐ
dodə
thatðˈæt
.
Ifˈɪf
I
werewˈɜː
chairmantʃˈeəmən
ofˈɒv
thisðˈɪs
gangɡˈæŋ
,
I
shouldʃˈʊd
hesitatehˈɛsɪtˌeɪt
totˈuː
enrolɛnɹˈəʊl
anyˈɛni
baboonbæbˈuːn
whohˈuː
couldn't
producepɹəˈd͡ʒuːs
satisfactorysˌætɪsfˈæktəɹˌi
credentialskɹɪdˈɛnʃəlz
fromfɹˈɒm
hishˈɪz
lastlˈɑːst
Zoologicalzˌuːəlˈɒdʒɪkəl
Gardensɡˈɑːdənz
.
LISA
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
isˈɪz
farfˈɑː
fromfɹˈɒm
beingbˈiːɪŋ
a
baboonbæbˈuːn
.
Poorpˈɔː
boybˈɔɪ
,
heˈhiː
couldkˈʊd
notnˈɒt
helphˈɛlp
givingɡˈɪvɪŋ
usˈʌs
awayɐwˈeɪ
—
it's
hishˈɪz
trustingtɹˈʌstɪŋ
naturenˈeɪtʃɐ
—
heˈhiː
waswˈɒz
deceiveddɪsˈiːvd
.
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
furiouslyfjˈɔːɹɪəsli
).
Hishˈɪz
trustingtɹˈʌstɪŋ
naturenˈeɪtʃɐ
!
(
Totˈuː
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
)
Ohˈəʊ
,
I
shouldʃˈʊd
likelˈaɪk
totˈuː
talktˈɔːk
totˈuː
youjˈuː
inˈɪn
mymˈaɪ
ownˈəʊn
languagelˈæŋɡwɪdʒ
forfˈɔː
fivefˈaɪv
minutesmˈɪnɪts
—
onlyˈəʊnli
fivefˈaɪv
minutesmˈɪnɪts
!
I
knownˈəʊ
somesˈʌm
goodɡˈʊd
,
strongstɹˈɒŋ
,
energeticˌɛnədʒˈɛtɪk
Englishˈɪŋɡlɪʃ
remarksɹɪˈmɑɹks
thatðˈæt
wouldwˈʊd
shrivelʃɹˈɪvəl
yourjˈɔː
trustingtɹˈʌstɪŋ
naturenˈeɪtʃɐ
intoˈɪntʊ
raisinsɹˈeɪzənz
—
onlyˈəʊnli
youjˈuː
wouldn't
understandˌʌndəstˈænd
themðˈɛm
!
LUD
Herehˈiə
wewˈiː
perceivepəsˈiːv
onewˈɒn
ofˈɒv
theðə
disadvantagesdˌɪsɐdvˈɑːntɪdʒɪz
ofˈɒv
a
neglectednɪɡlˈɛktɪd
educationˌɛdʒuːkˈeɪʃən
!
ERN
(
totˈuː
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
).
Andˈænd
I
supposesʌpˈəʊz
you'll
nevernˈɛvɐ
bebˈiː
mymˈaɪ
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
nownˈaʊ
!
JULIA
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
?
Mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
friendfɹˈɛnd
,
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
don't
producepɹəˈd͡ʒuːs
theðə
piecepˈiːs
howhˈaʊ
cankˈæn
I
playplˈeɪ
theðə
partpˈɑːt
?
ERN
Truetɹˈuː
.
(
Totˈuː
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
)
Youjˈuː
seesˈiː
whatwˈɒt
you've
donedˈʌn
.
LUD
Butbˈʌt
,
mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
sirsˈɜː
,
youjˈuː
don't
seemsˈiːm
totˈuː
understandˌʌndəstˈænd
thatðˈæt
theðə
manmˈæn
ateeɪt
threeθɹˈiː
sausage-rolls
.
Keepkˈiːp
thatðˈæt
factfˈækt
steadilystˈɛdɪli
beforebɪfˈɔː
youjˈuː
.
Threeθɹˈiː
largelˈɑːdʒ
sausage-rolls
.
JULIA
Bahbˈɑː
!—
Lotslˈɒts
ofˈɒv
peoplepˈiːpəl
eatˈiːt
sausage-rolls
whohˈuː
areə(ɹ)
notnˈɒt
conspiratorskənspˈɪɹətəz
.
LUD
Thenðˈɛn
theyðˈeɪ
shouldn't
.
It's
badbˈæd
formfˈɔːm
.
It's
notnˈɒt
theðə
gameɡˈeɪm
.
Whenwˈɛn
onewˈɒn
ofˈɒv
theðə
Humanhjˈuːmən
Familyfˈæmɪli
proposespɹəpˈəʊzɪz
totˈuː
eatˈiːt
a
sausage-roll
,
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
hishˈɪz
dutydjˈuːti
totˈuː
askˈɑːsk
himselfhɪmsˈɛlf
,
"
Aməm
I
a
conspiratorkənspˈɪɹətɐ
?"
Andˈænd
ifˈɪf
,
onˈɒn
examinationɛɡzˌæmɪnˈeɪʃən
,
heˈhiː
findsfˈaɪndz
thatðˈæt
heˈhiː
isˈɪz
notnˈɒt
a
conspiratorkənspˈɪɹətɐ
,
heˈhiː
isˈɪz
boundbˈaʊnd
inˈɪn
honourˈɒnɐ
totˈuː
selectsɪlˈɛkt
somesˈʌm
otherˈʌðɐ
formfˈɔːm
ofˈɒv
refreshmentɹɪfɹˈɛʃmənt
.
LISA
Ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
heˈhiː
isˈɪz
.
Onewˈɒn
shouldʃˈʊd
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
playplˈeɪ
theðə
gameɡˈeɪm
.
(
Totˈuː
NOTARYnˈəʊtəɹi
,
whohˈuː
hashˈæz
beenbˈiːn
smilingsmˈaɪlɪŋ
placidlyplˈæsɪdli
throughθɹˈuː
thisðˈɪs
)
Whatwˈɒt
areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
grinningɡɹˈɪnɪŋ
atˈæt
,
youjˈuː
greedyɡɹˈiːdi
oldˈəʊld
manmˈæn
?
NOT
Nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
—
don't
mindmˈaɪnd
memˈiː
.
Itˈɪt
isˈɪz
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
amusingɐmjˈuːsɪŋ
totˈuː
theðə
legallˈiːɡəl
mindmˈaɪnd
totˈuː
seesˈiː
a
parcelpˈɑːsəl
ofˈɒv
laymenlˈeɪmɛn
botheringbˈɒðəɹɪŋ
themselvesðɛmsˈɛlvz
aboutɐbˈaʊt
a
mattermˈætɐ
whichwˈɪtʃ
totˈuː
a
trainedtɹˈeɪnd
lawyerlˈɔɪɐ
presentsˈpɹɛzənts
nonəʊ
difficultydˈɪfɪkˌʌlti
whateverwɒtˈɛvɐ
.
ALL
Nonəʊ
difficultydˈɪfɪkˌʌlti
!
NOT
Nonenʌn
whateverwɒtˈɛvɐ
!
Theðə
waywˈeɪ
outˈaʊt
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
quitekwaɪt
simplesˈɪmpəl
.
ALL
Simplesˈɪmpəl
?
NOT
Certainlysˈɜːtənli
!
Nownˈaʊ
attendɐtˈɛnd
.
Inˈɪn
theðə
firstfˈɜːst
placeplˈeɪs
,
youjˈuː
twotˈuː
menmˈɛn
fightfˈaɪt
a
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
.
ERN
A
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
?
JULIA
A
Stat-tat-tatutory
Dueldjˈuːəl
!
Achæt͡ʃ
!
whatwˈɒt
a
crack-jaw
languagelˈæŋɡwɪdʒ
thisðˈɪs
Germandʒˈɜːmən
isˈɪz
!
LUD
Nevernˈɛvɐ
heardhˈɜːd
ofˈɒv
suchsˈʌtʃ
a
thingθˈɪŋ
.
NOT
Itˈɪt
isˈɪz
truetɹˈuː
thatðˈæt
theðə
practicepɹˈæktɪs
hashˈæz
fallenfˈɔːlən
intoˈɪntʊ
abeyanceɐbˈeɪəns
throughθɹˈuː
disusedɪsjˈuːs
.
Butbˈʌt
allˈɔːl
theðə
lawslˈɔːz
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
runɹˈʌn
forfˈɔː
a
hundredhˈʌndɹəd
yearsjˈiəz
,
whenwˈɛn
theyðˈeɪ
diedˈaɪ
a
naturalnˈætʃəɹəl
deathdˈɛθ
,
unlessʌnlˈɛs
,
inˈɪn
theðə
meantimemˈiːntaɪm
,
theyðˈeɪ
havehəv
beenbˈiːn
revivedɹɪvˈaɪvd
forfˈɔː
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
centurysˈɛntʃəɹi
.
Theðə
Actˈækt
thatðˈæt
institutesˈɪnstɪtjˌuːts
theðə
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
waswˈɒz
passedpˈɑːst
a
hundredhˈʌndɹəd
yearsjˈiəz
agoɐɡˈəʊ
,
andˈænd
asəz
itˈɪt
hashˈæz
nevernˈɛvɐ
beenbˈiːn
revivedɹɪvˈaɪvd
,
itˈɪt
expiresɛkspˈaɪəz
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
.
Sosˈəʊ
you're
justdʒˈʌst
inˈɪn
timetˈaɪm
.
JULIA
Butbˈʌt
whatwˈɒt
isˈɪz
theðə
usejuːs
ofˈɒv
talkingtˈɔːkɪŋ
totˈuː
usˈʌs
aboutɐbˈaʊt
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Duelsdjˈuːəlz
whenwˈɛn
wewˈiː
nonenʌn
ofˈɒv
usˈʌs
knownˈəʊ
whatwˈɒt
a
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
isˈɪz
?
NOT
Don't
youjˈuː
?
Thenðˈɛn
I'll
explainɛksplˈeɪn
.
Aboutɐbˈaʊt
a
centurysˈɛntʃəɹi
sincesˈɪns
,
Theðə
codekˈəʊd
ofˈɒv
theðə
duello
Totˈuː
suddensˈʌdən
deathdˈɛθ
Forfˈɔː
wantwˈɒnt
ofˈɒv
breathbɹˈɛθ
Sentsˈɛnt
manymˈɛni
a
strappingstɹˈæpɪŋ
fellowfˈɛləʊ
.
Theðə
thenðˈɛn
presidingpɹɪsˈaɪdɪŋ
Princepɹˈɪns
(
Whohˈuː
uselessjˈuːsləs
bloodshedblˈʌdʃɛd
hatedhˈeɪtɪd
),
Heˈhiː
passedpˈɑːst
anˈɐn
Actˈækt
,
Shortʃˈɔːt
andˈænd
compactˈkɒmˌpækt
,
Whichwˈɪtʃ
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
brieflybɹˈiːfli
statedstˈeɪtɪd
.
Unlikeʌnlˈaɪk
theðə
complicatedkˈɒmplɪkˌeɪtɪd
lawslˈɔːz
A Parliamentary draftsman draws,
NOT
Itˈɪt
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
brieflybɹˈiːfli
statedstˈeɪtɪd
.
ALL
Wewˈiː
knownˈəʊ
thatðˈæt
complicatedkˈɒmplɪkˌeɪtɪd
lawslˈɔːz
,
Such as a legal draftsman draws,
ALL
Cannotˈkænɒt
bebˈiː
brieflybɹˈiːfli
statedstˈeɪtɪd
.
NOT
Bybˈaɪ
thisðˈɪs
ingeniousɪndʒˈiːnɪəs
lawlˈɔː
,
Ifˈɪf
anyˈɛni
twotˈuː
shallʃˈæl
quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
,
Theyðˈeɪ
maymˈeɪ
notnˈɒt
fightfˈaɪt
Withwˈɪð
falchionsˈfɔːl.(t)ʃən
brightbɹˈaɪt
(
Whichwˈɪtʃ
seemedsˈiːmd
totˈuː
himhˈɪm
immoralɪmˈɒɹəl
);
But each a card shall draw,
And he who draws the lowest
NOT
Shallʃˈæl
(
sosˈəʊ
'twas
saidsˈɛd
)
Bebˈiː
thenceforthθˈɛnsɪfˌɔːθ
deaddˈɛd
—
Inˈɪn
factfˈækt
,
a
legallˈiːɡəl
"
ghoest
"
(
Whenwˈɛn
exigence
ofˈɒv
rhymeɹˈaɪm
compelskəmpˈɛlz
,
Orthographyɔːˈθɒɡɹəfi
forgoesfˈɔːɡəʊz
herhˈɜː
spellsspˈɛlz
,
Andˈænd
"
ghostɡˈəʊst
"
isˈɪz
writtenɹˈɪtən
"
ghoest
").
ALL (aside) With what an emphasis he dwells
NOT
Uponəpˈɒn
"
orthographyɔːˈθɒɡɹəfi
"
andˈænd
"
spellsspˈɛlz
"!
Thatðˈæt
kindkˈaɪnd
ofˈɒv
fun's
theðə
lowestlˈəʊəst
.
Whenwˈɛn
offˈɒf
theðə
loser's
poppedpˈɒpt
(
Bybˈaɪ
pleasingplˈiːzɪŋ
legallˈiːɡəl
fictionfˈɪkʃən
),
Andˈænd
friendfɹˈɛnd
andˈænd
foefˈəʊ
Havehəv
weptwˈɛpt
theirðˈeə
woewˈəʊ
Inˈɪn
counterfeitkˈaʊntəfˌɪt
afflictionɐflˈɪkʃən
,
Theðə
winnerwˈɪnɐ
mustmˈʌst
adoptɐdˈɒpt
Theðə
loser's
poorpˈɔː
relationsɹɪlˈeɪʃənz
—
Dischargedɪsˈtʃɑːdʒ
hishˈɪz
debtsdˈɛts
,
Paypˈeɪ
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
betsbˈɛts
,
And take his obligations.
NOT
Inˈɪn
shortʃˈɔːt
,
totˈuː
brieflybɹˈiːfli
sumsˈʌm
theðə
casekˈeɪs
,
The winner takes the loser's place,
NOT
Withwˈɪð
allˈɔːl
itsˈɪts
obligationsˌɒblɪɡˈeɪʃənz
.
ALL
Howhˈaʊ
neatlynˈiːtli
lawyerslˈɔɪəz
statestˈeɪt
a
casekˈeɪs
!
The winner takes the loser's place,
ALL
Withwˈɪð
allˈɔːl
itsˈɪts
obligationsˌɒblɪɡˈeɪʃənz
!
LUD
I
seesˈiː
.
The man who draws the lowest card—
NOT
Diesdˈaɪz
,
ipso
facto
,
a
socialsˈəʊʃəl
deathdˈɛθ
.
Heˈhiː
loseslˈuːzɪz
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
civilsˈɪvəl
rightsɹˈaɪts
—
hishˈɪz
identityaɪdˈɛntɪti
disappearsdˌɪsɐpˈiəz
—
theðə
Revisingɹɪvˈaɪzɪŋ
Barristerbˈæɹɪstɐ
expungesɛkspˈʌndʒɪz
hishˈɪz
namenˈeɪm
fromfɹˈɒm
theðə
listlˈɪst
ofˈɒv
votersvˈəʊtəz
,
andˈænd
theðə
winnerwˈɪnɐ
takestˈeɪks
hishˈɪz
placeplˈeɪs
,
whateverwɒtˈɛvɐ
itˈɪt
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
,
dischargesdɪsˈtʃɑːdʒ
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
functionsfˈʌŋkʃənz
,
andˈænd
adoptsɐdˈɒpts
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
responsibilitiesɹɪspˌɒnsəbˈɪlɪtiz
.
ERN
Thisðˈɪs
isˈɪz
allˈɔːl
veryvˈɛɹi
wellwˈɛl
,
asəz
farfˈɑː
asəz
itˈɪt
goesɡˈəʊz
,
butbˈʌt
itˈɪt
onlyˈəʊnli
protectspɹətˈɛkts
onewˈɒn
ofˈɒv
usˈʌs
.
What's
totˈuː
becomebɪkˈʌm
ofˈɒv
theðə
survivorsəvˈaɪvɐ
?
Yes, that's an interesting point, because I might be
LUD
theðə
survivorsəvˈaɪvɐ
.
NOT
Theðə
survivorsəvˈaɪvɐ
goesɡˈəʊz
atˈæt
oncewˈɒns
totˈuː
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
,
andˈænd
,
inˈɪn
a
burstbˈɜːst
ofˈɒv
remorseɹɪmˈɔːs
,
denouncesdɪnˈaʊnsɪz
theðə
deaddˈɛd
manmˈæn
asəz
theðə
movingmˈuːvɪŋ
spiritspˈɪɹɪt
ofˈɒv
theðə
plotplˈɒt
.
Heˈhiː
isˈɪz
acceptedɐksˈɛptɪd
asəz
King's
evidenceˈɛvɪdəns
,
andˈænd
,
asəz
a
mattermˈætɐ
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
receivesɹɪsˈiːvz
a
freefɹˈiː
pardonpˈɑːdən
.
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
whenwˈɛn
theðə
lawlˈɔː
expiresɛkspˈaɪəz
,
theðə
deaddˈɛd
manmˈæn
willwˈɪl
,
ipso
facto
,
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
againɐɡˈɛn
—
theðə
Revisingɹɪvˈaɪzɪŋ
Barristerbˈæɹɪstɐ
willwˈɪl
restoreɹɪˈstɔː
hishˈɪz
namenˈeɪm
totˈuː
theðə
listlˈɪst
ofˈɒv
votersvˈəʊtəz
,
andˈænd
heˈhiː
willwˈɪl
resumeɹɪˈzjuːm
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
obligationsˌɒblɪɡˈeɪʃənz
asəz
thoughðˈəʊ
nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
unusualʌnjˈuːʒuːəl
hadhˈæd
happenedhˈæpənd
.
JULIA
Whenwˈɛn
heˈhiː
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
atˈæt
oncewˈɒns
arrestedɐɹˈɛstɪd
,
triedtɹˈaɪd
,
andˈænd
executedˈɛksɪkjˌuːtɪd
onˈɒn
theðə
evidenceˈɛvɪdəns
ofˈɒv
theðə
informerɪnfˈɔːmɐ
!
Candidlykˈændɪdli
,
mymˈaɪ
friendfɹˈɛnd
,
I
don't
thinkθˈɪŋk
muchmˈʌtʃ
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
plotplˈɒt
!
NOT
Deardˈiə
,
deardˈiə
,
deardˈiə
,
theðə
ignoranceˈɪɡnəɹəns
ofˈɒv
theðə
laitylˈeɪətˌi
!
Mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
youngjˈʌŋ
ladylˈeɪdi
,
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
a
beautifulbjˈuːtɪfəl
maximmˈæksɪm
ofˈɒv
ourˈaʊə
gloriousɡlˈɔːɹɪəs
Constitutionkˌɒnstɪtjˈuːʃən
thatðˈæt
a
manmˈæn
cankˈæn
onlyˈəʊnli
diedˈaɪ
oncewˈɒns
.
Deathdˈɛθ
expungesɛkspˈʌndʒɪz
crimekɹˈaɪm
,
andˈænd
whenwˈɛn
heˈhiː
comeskˈʌmz
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
againɐɡˈɛn
,
itˈɪt
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
withwˈɪð
a
cleanklˈiːn
slateslˈeɪt
.
ERN
It's
reallyɹˈiəli
veryvˈɛɹi
ingeniousɪndʒˈiːnɪəs
.
LUD
(
totˈuː
NOTARYnˈəʊtəɹi
).
Mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
sirsˈɜː
,
wewˈiː
oweˈəʊ
youjˈuː
ourˈaʊə
liveslɪvz
!
LISA (aside to LUDWIG).
LUD
Maymˈeɪ
I
kisskˈɪs
himhˈɪm
?
Certainlysˈɜːtənli
notnˈɒt
:
you're
a
bigbˈɪɡ
girlɡˈɜːl
nownˈaʊ
.
To ERNEST
LUD
Wellwˈɛl
,
miscreantmˈɪskɹiənt
,
areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
preparedpɹɪpˈeəd
totˈuː
meetmˈiːt
memˈiː
onˈɒn
theðə
fieldfˈiːld
ofˈɒv
honourˈɒnɐ
?
ERN
Atˈæt
oncewˈɒns
.
Bybˈaɪ
Joved͡ʒəʊv
,
whatwˈɒt
a
couplekˈʌpəl
ofˈɒv
fire-eaters
wewˈiː
areə(ɹ)
!
LISA
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
doesn't
knownˈəʊ
whatwˈɒt
fearfˈiə
isˈɪz
.
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
I
don't
mindmˈaɪnd
thisðˈɪs
sortsˈɔːt
ofˈɒv
dueldjˈuːəl
!
ERN
It's
notnˈɒt
likelˈaɪk
a
dueldjˈuːəl
withwˈɪð
swordssˈɔːdz
.
I
hatehˈeɪt
a
dueldjˈuːəl
withwˈɪð
swordssˈɔːdz
.
It's
notnˈɒt
theðə
bladeblˈeɪd
I
mindmˈaɪnd
—
it's
theðə
bloodblˈʌd
.
LUD
Andˈænd
I
hatehˈeɪt
a
dueldjˈuːəl
withwˈɪð
pistolspˈɪstəlz
.
It's
notnˈɒt
theðə
ballbˈɔːl
I
mindmˈaɪnd
—
it's
theðə
bangbˈæŋ
.
NOT
Altogetherˌɔːltəɡˈɛðɐ
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
a
greatɡɹˈeɪt
improvementɪmpɹˈuːvmənt
onˈɒn
theðə
oldˈəʊld
methodmˈɛθəd
ofˈɒv
givingɡˈɪvɪŋ
satisfactionsˌætɪsfˈækʃən
.
ERNEST
Strangestɹˈeɪndʒ
theðə
viewsvjˈuːz
somesˈʌm
peoplepˈiːpəl
holdhˈəʊld
!
Twotˈuː
youngjˈʌŋ
fellowsfˈɛləʊz
quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
—
Thenðˈɛn
theyðˈeɪ
fightfˈaɪt
,
forfˈɔː
bothbˈəʊθ
areə(ɹ)
boldbˈəʊld
—
Rageɹˈeɪdʒ
ofˈɒv
bothbˈəʊθ
isˈɪz
uncontrolledʌnkəntɹˈəʊld
—
Bothbˈəʊθ
areə(ɹ)
stretchedstɹˈɛtʃt
outˈaʊt
,
starkstˈɑːk
andˈænd
coldkˈəʊld
!
Pritheepɹˈɪθiː
,
where's
theðə
moralmˈɒɹəl
?
Dingdˈɪŋ
dongdˈɒŋ
!
Dingdˈɪŋ
dongdˈɒŋ
!
There's
anˈɐn
endˈɛnd
totˈuː
furtherfˈɜːðɐ
actionˈækʃən
,
Andˈænd
thisðˈɪs
barbarousbˈɑːbæɹəs
transactiontɹænsˈækʃən
Isˈɪz
describeddɪskɹˈaɪbd
asəz
"
satisfactionsˌætɪsfˈækʃən
"!
Hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
satisfactionsˌætɪsfˈækʃən
!
Dingdˈɪŋ
dongdˈɒŋ
!
Dingdˈɪŋ
dongdˈɒŋ
!
Eachˈiːtʃ
isˈɪz
laidlˈeɪd
inˈɪn
churchyardtʃˈɜːtʃjɑːd
mouldmˈəʊld
—
Strangestɹˈeɪndʒ
theðə
viewsvjˈuːz
somesˈʌm
peoplepˈiːpəl
holdhˈəʊld
!
Betterbˈɛtɐ
thanðˈɐn
theðə
methodmˈɛθəd
oldˈəʊld
,
Whichwˈɪtʃ
waswˈɒz
coarsekˈɔːs
andˈænd
cruelkɹˈuːəl
,
Isˈɪz
theðə
planplˈæn
thatðˈæt
we've
extolledɛkstˈəʊld
.
Singsˈɪŋ
thyðˈaɪ
virtuesvˈɜːtʃuːz
manifoldmˈænɪfˌəʊld
(
Betterbˈɛtɐ
thanðˈɐn
refinedɹɪfˈaɪnd
goldɡˈəʊld
),
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
!
Singsˈɪŋ
songsˈɒŋ
!
Singsˈɪŋ
songsˈɒŋ
!
Swordsˈɔːd
orˈɔː
pistolpˈɪstəl
neithernˈaɪðɐ
usesˈjuː.sɪz
—
Playingplˈeɪɪŋ
cardkˈɑːd
heˈhiː
lightlylˈaɪtli
choosestʃˈuːzɪz
,
Andˈænd
theðə
loserlˈuːzɐ
simplysˈɪmpli
loseslˈuːzɪz
!
Hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
simplysˈɪmpli
loseslˈuːzɪz
.
Singsˈɪŋ
songsˈɒŋ
!
Singsˈɪŋ
songsˈɒŋ
!
Somesˈʌm
preferpɹɪfˈɜː
theðə
churchyardtʃˈɜːtʃjɑːd
mouldmˈəʊld
!
Strangestɹˈeɪndʒ
theðə
viewsvjˈuːz
somesˈʌm
peoplepˈiːpəl
holdhˈəʊld
!
NOT
(
offeringˈɒfəɹɪŋ
a
cardkˈɑːd
totˈuː
ERNESTˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
).
Now take a card and gaily sing
NOT
Howhˈaʊ
littlelˈɪtəl
youjˈuː
carekˈeə
forfˈɔː
Fortune's
rubsɹˈʌbz
—
(drawing a card).
ERN
Hurrahhəɹˈɑː
,
hurrahhəɹˈɑː
!—
I've
drawndɹˈɔːn
a
Kingkˈɪŋ
:
ALL
He's
drawndɹˈɔːn
a
Kingkˈɪŋ
!
Singsˈɪŋ
Heartshˈɑːts
andˈænd
Diamondsdˈaɪəməndz
,
Spadesspˈeɪdz
andˈænd
Clubsklˈʌbz
!
ALLˈɔːl
(
dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
).
He's
drawndɹˈɔːn
a
Kingkˈɪŋ
!
Howhˈaʊ
strangestɹˈeɪndʒ
a
thingθˈɪŋ
!
Anˈɐn
excellentˈɛksələnt
cardkˈɑːd
—
hishˈɪz
chancetʃˈɑːns
itˈɪt
aidsˈeɪdz
—
Singsˈɪŋ
Heartshˈɑːts
andˈænd
Diamondsdˈaɪəməndz
,
Spadesspˈeɪdz
andˈænd
Clubsklˈʌbz
—
Singsˈɪŋ
Diamondsdˈaɪəməndz
,
Heartshˈɑːts
andˈænd
Clubsklˈʌbz
andˈænd
Spadesspˈeɪdz
!
NOT
(
totˈuː
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
).
Now take a card with heart of grace—
NOT
(
Whateverwɒtˈɛvɐ
ourˈaʊə
fatefˈeɪt
,
let's
playplˈeɪ
ourˈaʊə
partspˈɑːts
).
(drawing card).
LUD
Hurrahhəɹˈɑː
,
hurrahhəɹˈɑː
!—
I've
drawndɹˈɔːn
anˈɐn
Aceˈeɪs
!
ALL
He's
drawndɹˈɔːn
anˈɐn
Aceˈeɪs
!
Singsˈɪŋ
Clubsklˈʌbz
andˈænd
Diamondsdˈaɪəməndz
,
Spadesspˈeɪdz
andˈænd
Heartshˈɑːts
!
ALLˈɔːl
(
dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
).
He's
drawndɹˈɔːn
anˈɐn
Aceˈeɪs
!
Observeɒbzˈɜːv
hishˈɪz
facefˈeɪs
—
Such very good fortune falls to few—
ALL
Singsˈɪŋ
Clubsklˈʌbz
andˈænd
Diamondsdˈaɪəməndz
,
Spadesspˈeɪdz
andˈænd
Heartshˈɑːts
—
Singsˈɪŋ
Clubsklˈʌbz
,
Spadesspˈeɪdz
,
Heartshˈɑːts
andˈænd
Diamondsdˈaɪəməndz
tootˈuː
!
NOT
Thatðˈæt
bothbˈəʊθ
theseðˈiːz
maidsmˈeɪdz
maymˈeɪ
keepkˈiːp
theirðˈeə
trothtɹˈɒθ
,
Andˈænd
nevernˈɛvɐ
misfortunemɪsfˈɔːtʃuːn
themðˈɛm
befallbɪfˈɔːl
,
I'll
holdhˈəʊld
'em
asəz
trusteetɹˈʌstiː
forfˈɔː
bothbˈəʊθ
—
ALL
He'll
holdhˈəʊld
'em
bothbˈəʊθ
!
Singsˈɪŋ
Heartshˈɑːts
,
Clubsklˈʌbz
,
Diamondsdˈaɪəməndz
,
Spadesspˈeɪdz
andˈænd
allˈɔːl
!
ALLˈɔːl
(
dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
).
Bybˈaɪ
jointdʒˈɔɪnt
decreedɪkɹˈiː
Asəz
{
ourˈaʊə
/
yourjˈɔː
}
trusteetɹˈʌstiː
Thisðˈɪs
Notarynˈəʊtəɹi
{
wewˈiː
/
youjˈuː
}
willwˈɪl
nownˈaʊ
instalɪnstˈɔːl
—
Inˈɪn
custodykˈʌstədi
letlˈɛt
himhˈɪm
keepkˈiːp
{
theirðˈeə
/
ourˈaʊə
}
heartshˈɑːts
,
Singsˈɪŋ
Heartshˈɑːts
,
Clubsklˈʌbz
,
Diamondsdˈaɪəməndz
,
Spadesspˈeɪdz
andˈænd
allˈɔːl
!
[Dance and exeunt LUDWIG, ERNEST, and
ALL
NOTARYnˈəʊtəɹi
withwˈɪð
theðə
twotˈuː
Girlsɡˈɜːlz
.
Marchmˈɑːtʃ
.
Enter the seven Chamberlains of the
CHORUS OF CHAMBERLAINS
Theðə
goodɡˈʊd
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
,
Thoughðˈəʊ
,
inˈɪn
hishˈɪz
ownˈəʊn
opinionəpˈɪniən
,
veryvˈɛɹi
veryvˈɛɹi
bigbˈɪɡ
,
In point of fact he's nothing but a miserable prig
CHORUS OF CHAMBERLAINS
Isˈɪz
theðə
goodɡˈʊd
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
!
Thoughðˈəʊ
quitekwaɪt
contemptiblekəntˈɛmptəbəl
,
asəz
everyˈɛvɹi
onewˈɒn
agreesɐɡɹˈiːz
,
Wewˈiː
mustmˈʌst
dissembledɪsˈɛmbəl
ifˈɪf
wewˈiː
wantwˈɒnt
ourˈaʊə
breadbɹˈɛd
andˈænd
cheesetʃˈiːz
,
Sosˈəʊ
hailhˈeɪl
himhˈɪm
inˈɪn
a
choruskˈɔːɹəs
,
withwˈɪð
enthusiasmɛnθjˈuːzɪˌæzəm
bigbˈɪɡ
,
Theðə
goodɡˈʊd
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
!
Enter the GRAND DUKE RUDOLPH.
CHORUS OF CHAMBERLAINS
Heˈhiː
isˈɪz
meanlymˈiːnli
andˈænd
miserablymˈɪzɹəbli
dresseddɹˈɛst
inˈɪn
oldˈəʊld
andˈænd
patchedpˈætʃt
clothesklˈəʊðz
,
butbˈʌt
blazesblˈeɪzɪz
withwˈɪð
a
profusionpɹəfjˈuːʒən
ofˈɒv
ordersˈɔːdəz
andˈænd
decorationsdˌɛkəɹˈeɪʃənz
.
Heˈhiː
isˈɪz
veryvˈɛɹi
weakwˈiːk
andˈænd
illˈɪl
,
fromfɹˈɒm
lowlˈəʊ
livinglˈɪvɪŋ
.
RUDOLPH
A
patternpˈætən
totˈuː
professorspɹəfˈɛsəz
ofˈɒv
monarchicalmənˈɑːkɪkəl
autonomyɔːtˈɒnəmi
,
I
don't
indulgeɪndˈʌldʒ
inˈɪn
levitylˈɛvɪti
orˈɔː
compromisingkˈɒmpɹəmˌaɪzɪŋ
bonhomiebˈɒnəmˌiː
,
Butbˈʌt
dignifieddˈɪɡnɪfˌaɪd
formalityfɔːmˈælɪti
,
consistentkənsˈɪstənt
withwˈɪð
economyɪkˈɒnəmi
,
Aboveəbˈʌv
allˈɔːl
otherˈʌðɐ
virtuesvˈɜːtʃuːz
I
particularlypətˈɪkjʊləli
prizepɹˈaɪz
.
I
nevernˈɛvɐ
joindʒˈɔɪn
inˈɪn
merrimentmˈɛɹɪmənt
—
I
don't
seesˈiː
jokedʒˈəʊk
orˈɔː
japedʒˈeɪp
anyˈɛni
—
I
nevernˈɛvɐ
toleratetˈɒləɹˌeɪt
familiarityfəmˌɪlɪˈæɹɪti
inˈɪn
shapeʃˈeɪp
anyˈɛni
—
Thisðˈɪs
,
joineddʒˈɔɪnd
withwˈɪð
anˈɐn
extravagantɛkstɹˈævəɡənt
respectɹɪspˈɛkt
forfˈɔː
tuppence-ha'penny
,
A
keynotekˈiːnəʊt
totˈuː
mymˈaɪ
characterkˈæɹɪktɐ
sufficientlysəfˈɪʃəntli
suppliessəplˈaɪz
.
(
Speakingspˈiːkɪŋ
)
Observeɒbzˈɜːv
.
(
Totˈuː
Chamberlainstʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪnz
)
Mymˈaɪ
snuff-box
!
(
Theðə
snuff-box
isˈɪz
passedpˈɑːst
withwˈɪð
muchmˈʌtʃ
ceremonysˈɛɹɪməni
fromfɹˈɒm
theðə
Juniordʒˈuːnjɐ
Chamberlaintʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪn
,
throughθɹˈuː
allˈɔːl
theðə
othersˈʌðəz
,
untilʌntˈɪl
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
presentedpɹɪzˈɛntɪd
bybˈaɪ
theðə
Seniorsˈiːnjɐ
Chamberlaintʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪn
totˈuː
RUDOLPHˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
,
whohˈuː
usesˈjuː.sɪz
itˈɪt
)
Thatðˈæt
incidentˈɪnsɪdənt
a
keynotekˈiːnəʊt
totˈuː
mymˈaɪ
characterkˈæɹɪktɐ
suppliessəplˈaɪz
.
RUD
I
weighwˈeɪ
outˈaʊt
teatˈiː
andˈænd
sugarʃˈʊɡɐ
withwˈɪð
precisionpɹɪsˈɪʒən
mathematicalmˌæθɪmˈætɪkəl
—
Insteadɪnstˈɛd
ofˈɒv
beerbˈiə
,
a
pennypˈɛni
eachˈiːtʃ
—
mymˈaɪ
ordersˈɔːdəz
areə(ɹ)
emphatical
—
(
Extravaganceɛkstɹˈævəɡəns
unpardonableʌnpˈɑːdəʊnəbəl
,
anyˈɛni
moremˈɔː
thanðˈɐn
thatðˈæt
I
callkˈɔːl
),
Butbˈʌt
,
onˈɒn
theðə
otherˈʌðɐ
handhˈænd
,
mymˈaɪ
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
dignitydˈɪɡnɪti
totˈuː
keepkˈiːp
—
Allˈɔːl
Courtlykˈɔːtli
ceremonialsˌɛɹɪmˈəʊnɪəl
—
totˈuː
putpʊt
itˈɪt
comprehensivelykˌɒmpɹɪhˈɛnsɪvli
—
I
rigidlyɹˈɪdʒɪdli
insistɪnsˈɪst
uponəpˈɒn
(
butbˈʌt
notnˈɒt
,
I
hopehˈəʊp
,
offensivelyəfˈɛnsɪvli
)
Wheneverwɛnˈɛvɐ
ceremonialsˌɛɹɪmˈəʊnɪəl
cankˈæn
bebˈiː
practisedpɹˈæktɪsd
inexpensivelyˌɪnɛkspˈɛnsɪvli
—
Andˈænd
,
whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
,
it's
reallyɹˈiəli
veryvˈɛɹi
cheaptʃˈiːp
!
(
Speakingspˈiːkɪŋ
)
Observeɒbzˈɜːv
.
(
Totˈuː
Chamberlainstʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪnz
)
Mymˈaɪ
handkerchiefhˈændkətʃˌiːf
!
(
Handkerchiefhˈændkətʃˌiːf
isˈɪz
handedhˈændɪd
bybˈaɪ
Juniordʒˈuːnjɐ
Chamberlaintʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪn
totˈuː
theðə
nextnˈɛkst
inˈɪn
orderˈɔːdɐ
,
andˈænd
sosˈəʊ
onˈɒn
untilʌntˈɪl
itˈɪt
reachesɹˈiːtʃɪz
RUDOLPHˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
,
whohˈuː
isˈɪz
muchmˈʌtʃ
inconveniencedɪnkənvˈiːnɪənst
bybˈaɪ
theðə
delaydɪlˈeɪ
)
It's
sometimessˈʌmtaɪmz
inconvenientɪnkənvˈiːnɪənt
,
butbˈʌt
it's
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
veryvˈɛɹi
cheaptʃˈiːp
!
Mymˈaɪ
Lordlˈɔːd
Chamberlaintʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪn
,
asəz
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
awareɐwˈeə
,
mymˈaɪ
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
withwˈɪð
theðə
wealthywˈɛlθi
Baronessbˈæɹəʊnəs
von
Krakenfeldt
willwˈɪl
taketˈeɪk
placeplˈeɪs
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
andˈænd
youjˈuː
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
goodɡˈʊd
enoughɪnˈʌf
totˈuː
seesˈiː
thatðˈæt
theðə
rejoicingsɹɪˈd͡ʒoɪ.sɪŋ
areə(ɹ)
onˈɒn
a
scaleskˈeɪl
ofˈɒv
unusualʌnjˈuːʒuːəl
liberalitylˌɪbəɹˈælɪti
.
Passpˈɑːs
thatðˈæt
onˈɒn
.
(
Chamberlaintʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪn
whispers to Vice-Chamberlain, who whispers to the next, and so
RUD
onˈɒn
)
Theðə
sportsspˈɔːts
willwˈɪl
beginbɪɡˈɪn
withwˈɪð
a
Weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
Breakfastbɹˈɛkfəst
Beebˈiː
.
THE
leadingˈliːdɪŋ
pastry-cooks
ofˈɒv
theðə
towntˈaʊn
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
invitedɪnvˈaɪtɪd
totˈuː
competekəmpˈiːt
,
andˈænd
theðə
winnerwˈɪnɐ
willwˈɪl
notnˈɒt
onlyˈəʊnli
enjoyɛndʒˈɔɪ
theðə
satisfactionsˌætɪsfˈækʃən
ofˈɒv
seeingsˈiːɪŋ
hishˈɪz
breakfastbɹˈɛkfəst
devoureddɪvˈaʊəd
bybˈaɪ
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
pairpˈeə
,
butbˈʌt
heˈhiː
willwˈɪl
alsoˈɒlsəʊ
bebˈiː
entitledɛntˈaɪtəld
totˈuː
havehəv
theðə
Armsˈɑːmz
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
tattoo'd
betweenbɪtwˈiːn
hishˈɪz
shoulder-blades
.
Theðə
Vice-Chamberlain
willwˈɪl
seesˈiː
totˈuː
thisðˈɪs
.
Allˈɔːl
theðə
publicpˈʌblɪk
fountainsfˈaʊntɪnz
ofˈɒv
Speisesaal
willwˈɪl
runɹˈʌn
withwˈɪð
Gingerbierheim
andˈænd
Currantweinmilch
atˈæt
theðə
publicpˈʌblɪk
expenseɛkspˈɛns
.
Theðə
Assistantɐsˈɪstənt
Vice-Chamberlain
willwˈɪl
seesˈiː
totˈuː
thisðˈɪs
.
Atˈæt
nightnˈaɪt
,
everybodyˈɛvɹɪbˌɒdi
willwˈɪl
illuminateɪlˈuːmɪnˌeɪt
;
andˈænd
asəz
I
havehəv
nonəʊ
desiredɪzˈaɪə
totˈuː
taxtˈæks
theðə
publicpˈʌblɪk
fundsfˈʌndz
undulyʌndjˈuːli
,
thisðˈɪs
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
donedˈʌn
atˈæt
theðə
inhabitants'
privatepɹˈaɪvət
expenseɛkspˈɛns
.
Theðə
Deputydˈɛpjuːti
Assistantɐsˈɪstənt
Vice-Chamberlain
willwˈɪl
seesˈiː
totˈuː
thisðˈɪs
.
Allˈɔːl
mymˈaɪ
Grandɡɹˈænd
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
subjectsˈsʌb.d͡ʒɛkts
willwˈɪl
wearwɛə
newnjˈuː
clothesklˈəʊðz
,
andˈænd
theðə
Sub-Deputy
Assistantɐsˈɪstənt
Vice-Chamberlain
willwˈɪl
collectkəˈlɛkt
theðə
usualjˈuːʒuːəl
commissionkəmˈɪʃən
onˈɒn
allˈɔːl
salessˈeɪlz
.
Weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
presentsˈpɹɛzənts
(
whichwˈɪtʃ
,
onˈɒn
thisðˈɪs
occasionəkˈeɪʒən
,
shouldʃˈʊd
bebˈiː
onˈɒn
a
scaleskˈeɪl
ofˈɒv
extraordinaryɛkstɹˈɔːdɪnəɹi
magnificencemæɡnˈɪfɪsəns
)
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
receivedɹɪsˈiːvd
atˈæt
theðə
Palacepˈælɪs
atˈæt
anyˈɛni
hourˈaʊə
ofˈɒv
theðə
twenty-fourˌtwɛntiˈfɔː
,
andˈænd
theðə
Temporarytˈɛmpɹəɹˌi
Sub-Deputy
Assistantɐsˈɪstənt
Vice-Chamberlain
willwˈɪl
sitsˈɪt
upˈʌp
allˈɔːl
nightnˈaɪt
forfˈɔː
thisðˈɪs
purposepˈɜːpəs
.
Theðə
entireɛntˈaɪə
populationpˌɒpjʊlˈeɪʃən
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
commandedkəmˈɑːndɪd
totˈuː
enjoyɛndʒˈɔɪ
themselvesðɛmsˈɛlvz
,
andˈænd
withwˈɪð
thisðˈɪs
viewvjˈuː
theðə
Actingˈæktɪŋ
Temporarytˈɛmpɹəɹˌi
Sub-Deputy
Assistantɐsˈɪstənt
Vice-Chamberlain
willwˈɪl
singsˈɪŋ
comickˈɒmɪk
songssˈɒŋz
inˈɪn
theðə
Market-place
fromfɹˈɒm
noonnˈuːn
totˈuː
nightfallnˈaɪtfɔːl
.
Finallyfˈaɪnəli
,
wewˈiː
havehəv
composedkəmpˈəʊzd
a
Weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
Anthemˈænθəm
,
withwˈɪð
whichwˈɪtʃ
theðə
entireɛntˈaɪə
populationpˌɒpjʊlˈeɪʃən
areə(ɹ)
requiredɹɪkwˈaɪəd
totˈuː
providepɹəvˈaɪd
themselvesðɛmsˈɛlvz
.
Itˈɪt
cankˈæn
bebˈiː
obtainedɒbtˈeɪnd
fromfɹˈɒm
ourˈaʊə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
publisherspˈʌblɪʃəz
atˈæt
theðə
usualjˈuːʒuːəl
discountdɪˈskaʊnt
pricepɹˈaɪs
,
andˈænd
allˈɔːl
theðə
Chamberlainstʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪnz
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
expectedɛkspˈɛktɪd
totˈuː
pushpˈʊʃ
theðə
salesˈeɪl
.
(
Chamberlainstʃˈeɪmbəlˌɪnz
bowbəʊ
andˈænd
exeunt).
THE
I
don't
feelfˈiːl
atˈæt
allˈɔːl
comfortablekˈʌmftəbəl
.
I
hopehˈəʊp
I'm
notnˈɒt
doingdˈuːɪŋ
a
foolishfˈuːlɪʃ
thingθˈɪŋ
inˈɪn
gettingɡˈɛtɪŋ
marriedmˈæɹɪd
.
Afterˈɑːftɐ
allˈɔːl
,
it's
a
poorpˈɔː
hearthˈɑːt
thatðˈæt
nevernˈɛvɐ
rejoicesɹɪdʒˈɔɪsɪz
,
andˈænd
thisðˈɪs
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
ofˈɒv
minemˈaɪn
isˈɪz
theðə
firstfˈɜːst
littlelˈɪtəl
treattɹˈiːt
I've
allowedɐlˈaʊd
myselfmaɪsˈɛlf
sincesˈɪns
mymˈaɪ
christeningkɹˈɪstənɪŋ
.
Besidesbɪsˈaɪdz
,
Caroline's
incomeˈɪnkʌm
isˈɪz
veryvˈɛɹi
considerablekənsˈɪdəɹəbəl
,
andˈænd
asəz
herhˈɜː
ideasaɪdˈiəz
ofˈɒv
economy are quite on a par with mine, it ought to turn out well.
THE
Blessblˈɛs
herhˈɜː
toughtˈʌf
oldˈəʊld
hearthˈɑːt
,
she's
a
meanmˈiːn
littlelˈɪtəl
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
herehˈiə
sheʃˈiː
isˈɪz
,
punctualpˈʌŋktʃuːəl
totˈuː
herhˈɜː
appointmentɐpˈɔɪntmənt
!
Enter BARONESS VON KRAKENFELDT.
BARONESS
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
!
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
RUD
Whywˈaɪ
,
I'm
notnˈɒt
quitekwaɪt
myselfmaɪsˈɛlf
,
mymˈaɪ
petpˈɛt
.
I'm
a
littlelˈɪtəl
worriedwˈʌɹɪd
andˈænd
upsetˌʌpˈsɛt
.
I
wantwˈɒnt
a
tonictˈɒnɪk
.
It's
theðə
lowlˈəʊ
dietdˈaɪət
,
I
thinkθˈɪŋk
.
I am afraid, after all, I shall have to take the bull by the
RUD
hornshˈɔːnz
andˈænd
havehəv
anˈɐn
eggˈɛɡ
withwˈɪð
mymˈaɪ
breakfastbɹˈɛkfəst
.
BARONESS
I
shouldn't
dodə
anythingˈɛnɪθˌɪŋ
rashɹˈæʃ
,
deardˈiə
.
Beginbɪɡˈɪn
withwˈɪð
a
jujubeˈd͡ʒuː.d͡ʒuːb
.
Gives him one
RUD
(
aboutɐbˈaʊt
totˈuː
eatˈiːt
itˈɪt
,
butbˈʌt
changestʃˈeɪndʒɪz
hishˈɪz
mindmˈaɪnd
).
I'll
keepkˈiːp
itˈɪt
forfˈɔː
suppersˈʌpɐ
.
(
Heˈhiː
sitssˈɪts
bybˈaɪ
herhˈɜː
andˈænd
triestɹˈaɪz
totˈuː
putpʊt
hishˈɪz
armˈɑːm
roundɹˈaʊnd
herhˈɜː
waistwˈeɪst
)
BARONESS
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
,
don't
!
Whatwˈɒt
inˈɪn
theðə
worldwˈɜːld
areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
thinkingθˈɪŋkɪŋ
ofˈɒv
?
I was thinking of embracing you, my sugarplum.
RUD
Justdʒˈʌst
asəz
a
littlelˈɪtəl
cheaptʃˈiːp
treattɹˈiːt
.
BARONESS
Whatwˈɒt
,
herehˈiə
?
Inˈɪn
publicpˈʌblɪk
?
Reallyɹˈiəli
,
youjˈuː
appearɐpˈiə
totˈuː
havehəv
nonəʊ
sensesˈɛns
ofˈɒv
delicacydˈɛlɪkəsi
.
RUD
Nonəʊ
sensesˈɛns
ofˈɒv
delicacydˈɛlɪkəsi
,
Bon-bon
!
BARONESS
Nonəʊ
.
I
can't
makemˈeɪk
youjˈuː
outˈaʊt
.
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
courtedkˈɔːtɪd
memˈiː
,
allˈɔːl
yourjˈɔː
courtingkˈɔːtɪŋ
waswˈɒz
donedˈʌn
publiclypˈʌblɪkli
inˈɪn
theðə
Marketplacemˈɑːkɪtplˌeɪs
.
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
proposedpɹəpˈəʊzd
totˈuː
memˈiː
,
youjˈuː
proposedpɹəpˈəʊzd
inˈɪn
theðə
Market-place
.
Andˈænd
nownˈaʊ
thatðˈæt
we're
engagedɛnɡˈeɪdʒd
youjˈuː
seemsˈiːm
totˈuː
desiredɪzˈaɪə
thatðˈæt
ourˈaʊə
firstfˈɜːst
tte-
occurəkˈɜː
inˈɪn
theðə
Marketplacemˈɑːkɪtplˌeɪs
!
Surelyʃˈɔːli
you've
a
roomɹˈuːm
inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
Palacepˈælɪs
—
withwˈɪð
blindsblˈaɪndz
—
thatðˈæt
wouldwˈʊd
dodə
?
RUD
Butbˈʌt
,
mymˈaɪ
ownˈəʊn
,
I
can't
helphˈɛlp
myselfmaɪsˈɛlf
.
I'm
boundbˈaʊnd
bybˈaɪ
mymˈaɪ
ownˈəʊn
decreedɪkɹˈiː
.
BARONESS
Yourjˈɔː
ownˈəʊn
decreedɪkɹˈiː
?
RUD
Yesjˈɛs
.
Youjˈuː
seesˈiː
,
allˈɔːl
theðə
houseshˈaʊzɪz
thatðˈæt
giveɡˈɪv
onˈɒn
theðə
Market-place
belongbɪlˈɒŋ
totˈuː
memˈiː
,
butbˈʌt
theðə
drainsdɹˈeɪnz
(
whichwˈɪtʃ
datedˈeɪt
backbˈæk
totˈuː
theðə
reignɹˈeɪn
ofˈɒv
Charlemagneˈʃɑːɹləmeɪn
)
wantwˈɒnt
attendingɐtˈɛndɪŋ
totˈuː
,
andˈænd
theðə
houseshˈaʊzɪz
wouldn't
letlˈɛt
—
sosˈəʊ
,
withwˈɪð
a
viewvjˈuː
totˈuː
increasingɪnkɹˈiːsɪŋ
theðə
valuevˈæljuː
ofˈɒv
theðə
propertypɹˈɒpəti
,
I
decreeddɪkɹˈiːd
thatðˈæt
allˈɔːl
love-episodes
betweenbɪtwˈiːn
affectionateɐfˈɛkʃənət
coupleskˈʌpəlz
shouldʃˈʊd
taketˈeɪk
placeplˈeɪs
,
inˈɪn
publicpˈʌblɪk
,
onˈɒn
thisðˈɪs
spotspˈɒt
,
everyˈɛvɹi
Mondayˈmʌn.deɪ
,
Wednesdayˈwɛnz.deɪ
,
andˈænd
Fridayˈfɹaɪ.deɪ
,
whenwˈɛn
theðə
bandbˈænd
doesn't
playplˈeɪ
.
BARONESS
Blessblˈɛs
memˈiː
,
whatwˈɒt
a
happyhˈæpi
ideaaɪdˈiə
!
Sosˈəʊ
moralmˈɒɹəl
tootˈuː
!
Andˈænd
havehəv
youjˈuː
foundfˈaʊnd
itˈɪt
answerˈɑːnsɐ
?
RUD
Answerˈɑːnsɐ
?
Theðə
rentsɹˈɛnts
havehəv
goneɡˈɒn
upˈʌp
fiftyfˈɪfti
perpˈɜː
centsˈɛnt
,
andˈænd
theðə
salesˈeɪl
ofˈɒv
opera-glasses
(
whichwˈɪtʃ
isˈɪz
a
Grandɡɹˈænd
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
monopolymənˈɒpəli
)
hashˈæz
receivedɹɪsˈiːvd
anˈɐn
extraordinaryɛkstɹˈɔːdɪnəɹi
stimulusstˈɪmjʊləs
!
Sosˈəʊ
,
underˈʌndɐ
theðə
circumstancessˈɜːkəmstˌænsɪz
,
wouldwˈʊd
youjˈuː
allowɐlˈaʊ
memˈiː
totˈuː
putpʊt
mymˈaɪ
armˈɑːm
roundɹˈaʊnd
yourjˈɔː
waistwˈeɪst
?
Asəz
a
sourcesˈɔːs
ofˈɒv
incomeˈɪnkʌm
.
Justdʒˈʌst
oncewˈɒns
!
BARONESS
Butbˈʌt
it's
sosˈəʊ
veryvˈɛɹi
embarrassingɛmbˈæɹəsɪŋ
.
Thinkθˈɪŋk
ofˈɒv
theðə
opera-glasses
!
RUD
Mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
girlɡˈɜːl
,
that's
justdʒˈʌst
whatwˈɒt
I
aməm
thinkingθˈɪŋkɪŋ
ofˈɒv
.
Hanghˈæŋ
itˈɪt
allˈɔːl
,
wewˈiː
mustmˈʌst
giveɡˈɪv
themðˈɛm
somethingsˈʌmθɪŋ
forfˈɔː
theirðˈeə
moneymˈʌni
!
What's
thatðˈæt
?
BARONESS
(
unfoldingʌnfˈəʊldɪŋ
paperpˈeɪpɐ
,
whichwˈɪtʃ
containskəntˈeɪnz
a
largelˈɑːdʒ
letterlˈɛtɐ
,
whichwˈɪtʃ
sheʃˈiː
handshˈændz
totˈuː
himhˈɪm
).
It's
a
letterlˈɛtɐ
whichwˈɪtʃ
yourjˈɔː
detectivedɪtˈɛktɪv
askedˈɑːskt
memˈiː
totˈuː
handhˈænd
totˈuː
youjˈuː
.
I
wrappedɹˈæpt
itˈɪt
upˈʌp
inˈɪn
yesterday's
paperpˈeɪpɐ
totˈuː
keepkˈiːp
itˈɪt
cleanklˈiːn
.
RUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
it's
onlyˈəʊnli
hishˈɪz
reportɹɪˈpɔːt
!
That'll
keepkˈiːp
.
Butbˈʌt
,
I
saysˈeɪ
,
you've
nevernˈɛvɐ
beenbˈiːn
andˈænd
boughtbˈɔːt
a
newspapernjˈuːzpeɪpɐ
?
BARONESS
Mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
,
dodə
youjˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
I'm
madmˈæd
?
Itˈɪt
camekˈeɪm
wrappedɹˈæpt
roundɹˈaʊnd
mymˈaɪ
breakfastbɹˈɛkfəst
.
RUD
(
relievedɹɪlˈiːvd
).
I thought you were not the sort of girl
RUD
totˈuː
goɡˈəʊ
andˈænd
buybˈaɪ
a
newspapernjˈuːzpeɪpɐ
!
Wellwˈɛl
,
asəz
we've
gotɡˈɒt
itˈɪt
,
wewˈiː
maymˈeɪ
asəz
wellwˈɛl
readɹiːd
itˈɪt
.
Whatwˈɒt
doesdəz
itˈɪt
saysˈeɪ
?
BARONESS
Whywˈaɪ
—
deardˈiə
memˈiː
—
here's
yourjˈɔː
biographybaɪˈɒɡɹəfi
!
"
Ourˈaʊə
Detesteddɪtˈɛstɪd
Despotdˈɛspɒt
!"
RUD
Yesjˈɛs
—
I
fancyfˈænsi
thatðˈæt
refersɹɪfˈɜːz
totˈuː
memˈiː
.
BARONESS
Andˈænd
itˈɪt
sayssˈɛz
—
Ohˈəʊ
,
itˈɪt
can't
bebˈiː
!
RUD
Whatwˈɒt
can't
bebˈiː
?
BARONESS
Whywˈaɪ
,
itˈɪt
sayssˈɛz
thatðˈæt
althoughɒlðˈəʊ
you're
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
totˈuː
marrymˈæɹi
memˈiː
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
youjˈuː
werewˈɜː
betrothedbɪtɹˈəʊðd
inˈɪn
infancyˈɪnfənsˌi
totˈuː
theðə
Princesspɹɪnˈsɛs
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
!
RUD
Ohˈəʊ
yesjˈɛs
—
that's
quitekwaɪt
rightɹˈaɪt
.
Didn't
I
mentionmˈɛnʃən
itˈɪt
?
BARONESS
Mentionmˈɛnʃən
itˈɪt
!
Youjˈuː
nevernˈɛvɐ
saidsˈɛd
a
wordwˈɜːd
aboutɐbˈaʊt
itˈɪt
!
RUD
Wellwˈɛl
,
itˈɪt
doesn't
mattermˈætɐ
,
becausebɪkˈʌz
,
youjˈuː
seesˈiː
,
it's
practicallypɹˈæktɪkli
offˈɒf
.
BARONESS
Practicallypɹˈæktɪkli
offˈɒf
?
RUD
Yesjˈɛs
.
Bybˈaɪ
theðə
termstˈɜːmz
ofˈɒv
theðə
contractˈkɒntɹækt
theðə
betrothalbɪtɹˈəʊðəl
isˈɪz
voidvˈɔɪd
unlessʌnlˈɛs
theðə
Princesspɹɪnˈsɛs
marriesmˈæɹɪz
beforebɪfˈɔː
sheʃˈiː
isˈɪz
ofˈɒv
ageˈeɪdʒ
.
Nownˈaʊ
,
herhˈɜː
fatherfˈɑːðɐ
,
theðə
Princepɹˈɪns
,
isˈɪz
stony-broke
,
andˈænd
hasn't
leftlˈɛft
hishˈɪz
househaʊs
forfˈɔː
yearsjˈiəz
forfˈɔː
fearfˈiə
ofˈɒv
arrestɐɹˈɛst
.
Overˈəʊvɐ
andˈænd
overˈəʊvɐ
againɐɡˈɛn
heˈhiː
hashˈæz
imploredɪmplˈɔːd
memˈiː
totˈuː
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
himhˈɪm
totˈuː
bebˈiː
married-but
inˈɪn
vainvˈeɪn
.
Overˈəʊvɐ
andˈænd
overˈəʊvɐ
againɐɡˈɛn
heˈhiː
hashˈæz
imploredɪmplˈɔːd
memˈiː
totˈuː
advanceɐdvˈæns
himhˈɪm
theðə
moneymˈʌni
totˈuː
enableɛnˈeɪbəl
theðə
Princesspɹɪnˈsɛs
totˈuː
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
memˈiː
—
butbˈʌt
inˈɪn
vainvˈeɪn
.
I
aməm
veryvˈɛɹi
youngjˈʌŋ
,
butbˈʌt
notnˈɒt
asəz
youngjˈʌŋ
asəz
thatðˈæt
;
andˈænd
asəz
theðə
Princesspɹɪnˈsɛs
comeskˈʌmz
ofˈɒv
ageˈeɪdʒ
atˈæt
twotˈuː
tomorrowtəmˈɒɹəʊ
,
whywˈaɪ
atˈæt
twotˈuː
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
I'm
a
freefɹˈiː
manmˈæn
,
sosˈəʊ
I
appointedɐpˈɔɪntɪd
thatðˈæt
hourˈaʊə
forfˈɔː
ourˈaʊə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
,
asəz
I
shallʃˈæl
likelˈaɪk
totˈuː
havehəv
asəz
muchmˈʌtʃ
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
asəz
I
cankˈæn
getɡˈɛt
forfˈɔː
mymˈaɪ
moneymˈʌni
.
BARONESS
I
seesˈiː
.
Ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
ifˈɪf
theðə
marriedmˈæɹɪd
statestˈeɪt
isˈɪz
a
happyhˈæpi
statestˈeɪt
,
it's
a
pitypˈɪti
totˈuː
wastewˈeɪst
anyˈɛni
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
.
RUD
Whywˈaɪ
,
everyˈɛvɹi
hourˈaʊə
wewˈiː
delayeddɪlˈeɪd
I
shouldʃˈʊd
loselˈuːz
a
lotlˈɒt
ofˈɒv
youjˈuː
andˈænd
you'd
loselˈuːz
a
lotlˈɒt
ofˈɒv
memˈiː
!
BARONESS
Mymˈaɪ
thoughtfulθˈɔːtfəl
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
,
wewˈiː
oughtˈɔːt
totˈuː
bebˈiː
veryvˈɛɹi
happyhˈæpi
!
RUD
Ifˈɪf
I'm
notnˈɒt
,
it'll
bebˈiː
mymˈaɪ
firstfˈɜːst
badbˈæd
investmentɪnvˈɛstmənt
.
Stillstˈɪl
,
thereðˈeə
isˈɪz
suchsˈʌtʃ
a
thingθˈɪŋ
asəz
a
slumpslˈʌmp
evenˈiːvən
inˈɪn
Matrimonialsmætɹɪˈməʊnɪ.əl
.
BARONESS
I
oftenˈɒfən
picturepˈɪktʃɐ
usˈʌs
inˈɪn
theðə
longlˈɒŋ
,
coldkˈəʊld
,
darkdˈɑːk
Decemberdɪˈsɛmbə
eveningsˈiːvnɪŋz
,
sittingsˈɪtɪŋ
closekləʊz
totˈuː
eachˈiːtʃ
otherˈʌðɐ
andˈænd
singingsˈɪŋɪŋ
impassionedɪmpˈæʃənd
duetsdjuːˈɛts
totˈuː
keepkˈiːp
usˈʌs
warmwˈɔːm
,
andˈænd
thinkingθˈɪŋkɪŋ
ofˈɒv
allˈɔːl
theðə
lovelylˈʌvli
thingsθˈɪŋz
wewˈiː
couldkˈʊd
affordɐfˈɔːd
totˈuː
buybˈaɪ
ifˈɪf
wewˈiː
chosetʃˈəʊz
,
andˈænd
,
atˈæt
theðə
samesˈeɪm
timetˈaɪm
,
planningplˈænɪŋ
outˈaʊt
ourˈaʊə
liveslɪvz
inˈɪn
a
spiritspˈɪɹɪt
ofˈɒv
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
rigidɹˈɪdʒɪd
andˈænd
exactingɛɡzˈæktɪŋ
economyɪkˈɒnəmi
!
RUD
It's
a
mostmˈəʊst
beautifulbjˈuːtɪfəl
andˈænd
touchingtˈʌtʃɪŋ
picturepˈɪktʃɐ
ofˈɒv
connubialkəˈnjuː.bi.əl
blissblˈɪs
inˈɪn
itsˈɪts
highesthˈaɪəst
andˈænd
mostmˈəʊst
rarefiedɹˈeəfaɪd
developmentdɪvˈɛləpmənt
!
DUETdjuːˈɛt
—
BARONESSbˈæɹəʊnəs
andˈænd
RUDOLPHˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
.
BARONESS
Asəz
o'er
ourˈaʊə
pennypˈɛni
rollɹˈəʊl
wewˈiː
singsˈɪŋ
,
Itˈɪt
isˈɪz
notnˈɒt
reprehensive
Totˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
whatwˈɒt
joysdʒˈɔɪz
ourˈaʊə
wealthwˈɛlθ
wouldwˈʊd
bringbɹˈɪŋ
Werewˈɜː
wewˈiː
disposeddɪspˈəʊzd
totˈuː
dodə
theðə
thingθˈɪŋ
Uponəpˈɒn
a
scaleskˈeɪl
extensiveɛkstˈɛnsɪv
.
There's
richɹˈɪtʃ
mock-turtle
—
thickθˈɪk
andˈænd
clearklˈiə
—
RUD
(
confidentiallykˌɒnfɪdˈɛnʃəlˌi
).
Perhapspəhˈæps
we'll
havehəv
itˈɪt
oncewˈɒns
a
yearjˈiə
!
BARONESS
(
delighteddɪlˈaɪtɪd
).
Youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
anˈɐn
open-handed
deardˈiə
!
RUD
Thoughðˈəʊ
,
mindmˈaɪnd
youjˈuː
,
it's
expensiveɛkspˈɛnsɪv
.
BARONESS
Nonəʊ
doubtdˈaʊt
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
expensiveɛkspˈɛnsɪv
.
BOTH
Howhˈaʊ
fleetingflˈiːtɪŋ
areə(ɹ)
theðə
glutton's
joysdʒˈɔɪz
!
Withwˈɪð
fishfˈɪʃ
andˈænd
fowlfˈaʊl
heˈhiː
lightlylˈaɪtli
toystˈɔɪz
,
RUD
Andˈænd
payspˈeɪz
forfˈɔː
suchsˈʌtʃ
expensiveɛkspˈɛnsɪv
trickstɹˈɪks
Sometimessˈʌmtaɪmz
asəz
muchmˈʌtʃ
asəz
two-and-six
!
BARONESS
Asəz
two-and-six
?
RUD
Asəz
two-and-six
—
BOTH
Sometimessˈʌmtaɪmz
asəz
muchmˈʌtʃ
asəz
two-and-six
!
It gives him no advantage, mind—
BARONESS
Forfˈɔː
youjˈuː
andˈænd
heˈhiː
havehəv
onlyˈəʊnli
dineddˈaɪnd
,
Andˈænd
youjˈuː
remainɹɪmˈeɪn
whenwˈɛn
oncewˈɒns
it's
downdˈaʊn
A
betterbˈɛtɐ
manmˈæn
bybˈaɪ
half-a-crown
.
RUD
Bybˈaɪ
half-a-crown
?
BARONESS
Bybˈaɪ
half-a-crown
.
BOTH
Yesjˈɛs
,
two-and-six
isˈɪz
half-a-crown
.
Thenðˈɛn
letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
bebˈiː
modestlymˈɒdəstli
merrymˈɛɹi
,
Andˈænd
rejoiceɹɪdʒˈɔɪs
withwˈɪð
a
derrydˈɛɹi
downdˈaʊn
derrydˈɛɹi
.
For to laugh and to sing
BOTH
Nonəʊ
extravaganceɛkstɹˈævəɡəns
bringbɹˈɪŋ
—
It's
a
joydʒˈɔɪ
economicalˌiːkənˈɒmɪkəl
,
veryvˈɛɹi
!
BARONESS
Althoughɒlðˈəʊ
asəz
you're
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
awareɐwˈeə
I never tried to hide it
BARONESS
I
moistenmˈɔɪstən
mymˈaɪ
insipidɪnsˈɪpɪd
farefˈeə
Withwˈɪð
waterwˈɔːtɐ
—
whichwˈɪtʃ
I
can't
abearəˈbɛə
—
RUD
Nornˈɔː
I
—
I
can't
abideɐbˈaɪd
itˈɪt
.
BARONESS
Thisðˈɪs
pleasingplˈiːzɪŋ
factfˈækt
ourˈaʊə
soulssˈəʊlz
willwˈɪl
cheertʃˈiə
,
Withwˈɪð
fiftyfˈɪfti
thousandθˈaʊzənd
poundspˈaʊndz
a
yearjˈiə
Wewˈiː
couldkˈʊd
indulgeɪndˈʌldʒ
inˈɪn
tabletˈeɪbəl
beerbˈiə
!
RUD
Getɡˈɛt
outˈaʊt
!
BARONESS
Wewˈiː
couldkˈʊd
—
I've
triedtɹˈaɪd
itˈɪt
!
RUD
Yesjˈɛs
,
yesjˈɛs
,
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
you've
triedtɹˈaɪd
itˈɪt
!
BOTH
Ohˈəʊ
,
heˈhiː
whohˈuː
hashˈæz
anˈɐn
incomeˈɪnkʌm
clearklˈiə
Ofˈɒv
fiftyfˈɪfti
thousandθˈaʊzənd
poundspˈaʊndz
a
yearjˈiə
—
BARONESS
Cankˈæn
purchasepˈɜːtʃɪs
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
fancyfˈænsi
loveslˈʌvz
Conspicuouskənspˈɪkjuːəs
hatshˈæts
—
RUD
Twotˈuː
shillingʃˈɪlɪŋ
glovesɡlˈʌvz
—
BARONESS
(
doubtfullydˈaʊtfəli
).
Two-shilling
glovesɡlˈʌvz
?
RUD
(
positivelypˈɒzɪtˌɪvli
).
Two-shilling
glovesɡlˈʌvz
—
BOTH
Yesjˈɛs
,
thinkθˈɪŋk
ofˈɒv
thatðˈæt
,
two-shilling
glovesɡlˈʌvz
!
BARONESS
Cheaptʃˈiːp
shoesʃˈuːz
andˈænd
tiestˈaɪz
ofˈɒv
gaudyɡˈɔːdi
huehjuː
,
Andˈænd
Waterbury
watcheswˈɒtʃɪz
,
tootˈuː
—
Andˈænd
thinkθˈɪŋk
thatðˈæt
heˈhiː
couldkˈʊd
buybˈaɪ
theðə
lotlˈɒt
Werewˈɜː
heˈhiː
a
donkeydˈɒŋki
—
RUD
Whichwˈɪtʃ
he's
notnˈɒt
!
BARONESS
Ohˈəʊ
nonəʊ
,
he's
notnˈɒt
!
RUD
Ohˈəʊ
nonəʊ
,
he's
notnˈɒt
!
BOTHbˈəʊθ
(
dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
).
Thatðˈæt
kindkˈaɪnd
ofˈɒv
donkeydˈɒŋki
heˈhiː
isˈɪz
notnˈɒt
!
Thenðˈɛn
letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
bebˈiː
modestlymˈɒdəstli
merrymˈɛɹi
,
Andˈænd
rejoiceɹɪdʒˈɔɪs
withwˈɪð
a
derrydˈɛɹi
downdˈaʊn
derrydˈɛɹi
.
For to laugh and to sing
RUD
Isˈɪz
a
rationalɹˈæʃənəl
thing-
It's
a
joydʒˈɔɪ
economicalˌiːkənˈɒmɪkəl
,
veryvˈɛɹi
!
[Exit
RUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
nownˈaʊ
forfˈɔː
mymˈaɪ
detective's
reportɹɪˈpɔːt
.
Opens letter
RUD
What's
thisðˈɪs
!
Anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
conspiracykənspˈɪɹəsi
!
A
conspiracykənspˈɪɹəsi
totˈuː
deposedɪpˈəʊz
memˈiː
!
Andˈænd
mymˈaɪ
privatepɹˈaɪvət
detectivedɪtˈɛktɪv
waswˈɒz
sosˈəʊ
convulsedkənvˈʌlzd
withwˈɪð
laughterlˈɑːftɐ
atˈæt
theðə
notionnˈəʊʃən
ofˈɒv
a
conspiratorkənspˈɪɹətɐ
selectingsɪlˈɛktɪŋ
himhˈɪm
forfˈɔː
a
confidantkˈɒnfɪdˌænt
thatðˈæt
heˈhiː
waswˈɒz
physicallyfˈɪzɪkli
unableʌnˈeɪbəl
totˈuː
arrestɐɹˈɛst
theðə
malefactormˈeɪlfæktɐ
!
Whywˈaɪ
,
it'll
comekˈʌm
offˈɒf
!
Thisðˈɪs
comeskˈʌmz
ofˈɒv
engagingɛnɡˈeɪdʒɪŋ
a
detectivedɪtˈɛktɪv
withwˈɪð
a
keenkˈiːn
sensesˈɛns
ofˈɒv
theðə
ridiculousɹɪdˈɪkjʊləs
!
Forfˈɔː
theðə
futurefjˈuːtʃɐ
I'll
employɛmplˈɔɪ
nonenʌn
butbˈʌt
Scotchmenˈskɒt͡ʃmən
.
Andˈænd
theðə
plotplˈɒt
isˈɪz
totˈuː
explodeɛksplˈəʊd
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
!
Mymˈaɪ
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
daydˈeɪ
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
Carolineˈkæɹ.əˌlaɪn
,
Carolineˈkæɹ.əˌlaɪn
!
(
Weepswˈiːps
)
Thisðˈɪs
isˈɪz
perfectlypˈɜːfɛktlˌi
frightfulfɹˈaɪtfəl
!
What's
totˈuː
bebˈiː
donedˈʌn
?
I
don't
knownˈəʊ
!
I
oughtˈɔːt
totˈuː
keepkˈiːp
coolkˈuːl
andˈænd
thinkθˈɪŋk
,
butbˈʌt
youjˈuː
can't
thinkθˈɪŋk
whenwˈɛn
yourjˈɔː
veinsvˈeɪnz
areə(ɹ)
fullfˈʊl
ofˈɒv
hothˈɒt
soda-water
,
andˈænd
yourjˈɔː
brain's
fizzingfˈɪzɪŋ
likelˈaɪk
a
fireworkfˈaɪəwɜːk
,
andˈænd
allˈɔːl
yourjˈɔː
facultiesfˈækəltˌiz
areə(ɹ)
jumbleddʒˈʌmbəld
inˈɪn
a
perfectˈpɜː.fɪkt
whirlpoolwˈɜːlpuːl
ofˈɒv
tumblication
!
Andˈænd
I'm
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
totˈuː
bebˈiː
illˈɪl
!
I
knownˈəʊ
I
aməm
!
I've
beenbˈiːn
livinglˈɪvɪŋ
tootˈuː
lowlˈəʊ
,
andˈænd
I'm
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
totˈuː
bebˈiː
veryvˈɛɹi
illˈɪl
indeedˌɪndˈiːd
!
RUDOLPH
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
findfˈaɪnd
you're
a
broken-down
critterkɹˈɪtɐ
,
Whohˈuː
isˈɪz
allˈɔːl
ofˈɒv
a
trimmle
andˈænd
twittertwˈɪtɐ
,
Withwˈɪð
yourjˈɔː
palatepˈælət
unpleasantlyʌnplˈɛzəntli
bitterbˈɪtɐ
,
Asəz
ifˈɪf
you'd
justdʒˈʌst
eatenˈiːtən
a
pillpˈɪl
—
Whenwˈɛn
yourjˈɔː
legslˈɛɡz
areə(ɹ)
asəz
thinθˈɪn
asəz
dividersdɪvˈaɪdəz
,
Andˈænd
you're
plaguedplˈeɪɡd
withwˈɪð
unrulyʌnɹˈuːli
insidersɪnsˈaɪdəz
,
Andˈænd
yourjˈɔː
spinespˈaɪn
isˈɪz
allˈɔːl
creepykɹˈiːpi
withwˈɪð
spidersspˈaɪdəz
,
Andˈænd
you're
highlyhˈaɪli
gambogeɡˈæmbəʊdʒ
inˈɪn
theðə
gillɡɪl
—
Whenwˈɛn
you've
gotɡˈɒt
a
beehivebˈiːhaɪv
inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
headhˈɛd
,
Andˈænd
a
sewingsˈəʊɪŋ
machineməʃˈiːn
inˈɪn
eachˈiːtʃ
earˈiə
,
Andˈænd
youjˈuː
feelfˈiːl
thatðˈæt
you've
eatenˈiːtən
yourjˈɔː
bedbˈɛd
,
Andˈænd
you've
gotɡˈɒt
a
badbˈæd
headachehˈɛdeɪk
downdˈaʊn
herehˈiə
—
Whenwˈɛn
suchsˈʌtʃ
factsfˈækts
areə(ɹ)
aboutɐbˈaʊt
,
Andˈænd
theseðˈiːz
symptomssˈɪmptəmz
youjˈuː
findfˈaɪnd
Inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
bodybˈɒdi
orˈɔː
crownkɹˈaʊn
—
Wellwˈɛl
,
you'd
betterbˈɛtɐ
looklˈʊk
outˈaʊt
,
Youjˈuː
maymˈeɪ
makemˈeɪk
upˈʌp
yourjˈɔː
mindmˈaɪnd
Youjˈuː
hadhˈæd
betterbˈɛtɐ
lielˈaɪ
downdˈaʊn
!
Whenwˈɛn
yourjˈɔː
lipslˈɪps
areə(ɹ)
allˈɔːl
smearysmˈiəɹi
—
likelˈaɪk
tallowtˈæləʊ
,
Andˈænd
yourjˈɔː
tonguetˈʌŋ
isˈɪz
decidedlydɪsˈaɪdɪdli
yallowˈjælɚ
,
Withwˈɪð
a
pintpˈaɪnt
ofˈɒv
warmwˈɔːm
oilˈɔɪl
inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
swallowswˈɒləʊ
,
Andˈænd
a
poundpˈaʊnd
ofˈɒv
tin-tacks
inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
chesttʃˈɛst
—
Whenwˈɛn
you're
downdˈaʊn
inˈɪn
theðə
mouthmaʊθ
withwˈɪð
theðə
vapoursvˈeɪpəz
,
Andˈænd
allˈɔːl
overˈəʊvɐ
yourjˈɔː
Morrismˈɒɹɪs
wall-papers
Black-beetles
areə(ɹ)
cuttingkˈʌtɪŋ
theirðˈeə
caperskˈeɪpəz
,
Andˈænd
crawlykɹˈɔːli
thingsθˈɪŋz
nevernˈɛvɐ
atˈæt
restɹˈɛst
—
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
doubtdˈaʊt
ifˈɪf
yourjˈɔː
headhˈɛd
isˈɪz
yourjˈɔː
ownˈəʊn
,
Andˈænd
youjˈuː
jumpdʒˈʌmp
whenwˈɛn
anˈɐn
openˈəʊpən
doordˈɔː
slamsslˈæmz
—
Thenðˈɛn
you've
gotɡˈɒt
totˈuː
a
statestˈeɪt
whichwˈɪtʃ
isˈɪz
knownnˈəʊn
Totˈuː
theðə
medicalmˈɛdɪkəl
worldwˈɜːld
asəz
"
jim-jams
"
Ifˈɪf
suchsˈʌtʃ
symptomssˈɪmptəmz
youjˈuː
findfˈaɪnd
Inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
bodybˈɒdi
orˈɔː
headhˈɛd
,
They're
notnˈɒt
easyˈiːzi
totˈuː
quellkwˈɛl
—
Youjˈuː
maymˈeɪ
makemˈeɪk
upˈʌp
yourjˈɔː
mindmˈaɪnd
Youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
betterbˈɛtɐ
inˈɪn
bedbˈɛd
,
Forfˈɔː
you're
notnˈɒt
atˈæt
allˈɔːl
wellwˈɛl
!
Sinks exhausted and weeping at foot of well
Enter LUDWIG.
LUD
Nownˈaʊ
forfˈɔː
mymˈaɪ
confessionkənfˈɛʃən
andˈænd
fullfˈʊl
pardonpˈɑːdən
.
Theyðˈeɪ
toldtˈəʊld
memˈiː
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
waswˈɒz
dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
duetsdjuːˈɛts
inˈɪn
theðə
Market-place
,
butbˈʌt
I
don't
seesˈiː
himhˈɪm
.
(
Seessˈiːz
RUDOLPHˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
)
Hallohˈæləʊ
!
Who's
thisðˈɪs
?
(
Asideɐsˈaɪd
)
Whywˈaɪ
,
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
!
RUD
(
sobbingsˈɒbɪŋ
).
Whohˈuː
areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
,
sirsˈɜː
,
whohˈuː
presumepɹɪzjˈuːm
totˈuː
addressəˈdɹɛs
memˈiː
inˈɪn
personpˈɜːsən
?
Ifˈɪf
you've
anythingˈɛnɪθˌɪŋ
totˈuː
communicatekəmjˈuːnɪkˌeɪt
,
youjˈuː
mustmˈʌst
flingflˈɪŋ
yourselfjɔːsˈɛlf
atˈæt
theðə
feetfˈiːt
ofˈɒv
mymˈaɪ
Actingˈæktɪŋ
Temporarytˈɛmpɹəɹˌi
Sub-Deputy
Assistantɐsˈɪstənt
Vice-Chamberlain
,
whohˈuː
willwˈɪl
flingflˈɪŋ
himselfhɪmsˈɛlf
atˈæt
theðə
feetfˈiːt
ofˈɒv
hishˈɪz
immediateɪmˈiːdɪət
superiorsuːpˈiəɹɪɐ
,
andˈænd
sosˈəʊ
onˈɒn
,
withwˈɪð
successivesəksˈɛsɪv
foot-flingings
throughθɹˈuː
theðə
variousvˈeəɹɪəs
gradesɡɹˈeɪdz
—
yourjˈɔː
communicationkəmjˌuːnɪkˈeɪʃən
willwˈɪl
,
inˈɪn
coursekˈɔːs
ofˈɒv
timetˈaɪm
,
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
mymˈaɪ
augustɔːˈɡʌst
knowledgenˈɒlɪdʒ
.
LUD
Butbˈʌt
whenwˈɛn
I
informɪnfˈɔːm
yourjˈɔː
Highnesshˈaɪnəs
thatðˈæt
inˈɪn
memˈiː
youjˈuː
seesˈiː
THE
mostmˈəʊst
unhappyʌnhˈæpi
,
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
unfortunateʌnfˈɔːtʃənət
,
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
completelykəmplˈiːtli
miserablemˈɪzɹəbəl
manmˈæn
inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
wholehˈəʊl
dominiondəmˈɪniən
—
RUD
(
stillstˈɪl
sobbingsˈɒbɪŋ
).
Youjˈuː
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
miserablemˈɪzɹəbəl
manmˈæn
inˈɪn
mymˈaɪ
wholehˈəʊl
dominiondəmˈɪniən
?
Howhˈaʊ
cankˈæn
youjˈuː
havehəv
theðə
facefˈeɪs
totˈuː
standstˈænd
thereðˈeə
andˈænd
saysˈeɪ
suchsˈʌtʃ
a
thingθˈɪŋ
?
Whywˈaɪ
,
looklˈʊk
atˈæt
memˈiː
!
Looklˈʊk
atˈæt
memˈiː
!
(
Burstsbˈɜːsts
intoˈɪntʊ
tearstɪɹz
)
LUD
Wellwˈɛl
,
I
wouldn't
bebˈiː
a
cry-babyˈkɹaɪˌbeɪbi
.
RUD
A
cry-babyˈkɹaɪˌbeɪbi
?
Ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
hadhˈæd
justdʒˈʌst
beenbˈiːn
toldtˈəʊld
thatðˈæt
youjˈuː
werewˈɜː
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
totˈuː
bebˈiː
deposeddɪpˈəʊzd
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
andˈænd
perhapspəhˈæps
blownblˈəʊn
upˈʌp
withwˈɪð
dynamitedˈaɪnɐmˌaɪt
forfˈɔː
allˈɔːl
I
knownˈəʊ
,
wouldn't
youjˈuː
bebˈiː
a
cry-babyˈkɹaɪˌbeɪbi
?
I
dodə
declaredɪklˈeə
ifˈɪf
I
couldkˈʊd
onlyˈəʊnli
hithˈɪt
uponəpˈɒn
somesˈʌm
cheaptʃˈiːp
andˈænd
painlesspˈeɪnləs
methodmˈɛθəd
ofˈɒv
puttingˈpʊtɪŋ
anˈɐn
endˈɛnd
totˈuː
anˈɐn
existenceɛɡzˈɪstəns
whichwˈɪtʃ
hashˈæz
becomebɪkˈʌm
insupportableɪnsəpˈɔːtəbəl
,
I
wouldwˈʊd
unhesitatinglyʌnhˈɛsɪtˌeɪtɪŋli
adoptɐdˈɒpt
itˈɪt
!
LUD
Youjˈuː
wouldwˈʊd
?
(
Asideɐsˈaɪd
)
I
seesˈiː
a
magnificentmæɡnˈɪfɪsənt
waywˈeɪ
outˈaʊt
ofˈɒv
thisðˈɪs
!
Bybˈaɪ
Jupiterˈd͡ʒupɪtɚ
,
I'll
trytɹˈaɪ
itˈɪt
!
(
Aloudɐlˈaʊd
)
Areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
,
bybˈaɪ
anyˈɛni
chancetʃˈɑːns
,
inˈɪn
earnestˈɜːnəst
?
RUD
Inˈɪn
earnestˈɜːnəst
?
Whywˈaɪ
,
looklˈʊk
atˈæt
memˈiː
!
LUD
Ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
reallyɹˈiəli
inˈɪn
earnestˈɜːnəst
—
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
reallyɹˈiəli
desiredɪzˈaɪə
totˈuː
escape scot-free from this impending—this unspeakably horrible
LUD
catastrophekɐtˈæstɹəfi
—
withoutwɪðˈaʊt
troubletɹˈʌbəl
,
dangerdˈeɪndʒɐ
,
painpˈeɪn
,
orˈɔː
expenseɛkspˈɛns
—
whywˈaɪ
notnˈɒt
resortɹɪˈzɔːt
totˈuː
a
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
?
RUD
A
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
?
LUD
Yesjˈɛs
.
Theðə
Actˈækt
isˈɪz
stillstˈɪl
inˈɪn
forcefˈɔːs
,
butbˈʌt
itˈɪt
willwˈɪl
expireɛkspˈaɪə
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
afternoonˌɑːf.təˈnuːn
.
Youjˈuː
fightfˈaɪt
—
youjˈuː
loselˈuːz
—
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
deaddˈɛd
forfˈɔː
a
daydˈeɪ
.
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
whenwˈɛn
theðə
Actˈækt
expiresɛkspˈaɪəz
,
youjˈuː
willwˈɪl
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
againɐɡˈɛn
andˈænd
resumeɹɪˈzjuːm
yourjˈɔː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchydˈʌtʃi
asəz
thoughðˈəʊ
nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
hadhˈæd
happenedhˈæpənd
.
Inˈɪn
theðə
meantimemˈiːntaɪm
,
theðə
explosionɛksplˈəʊʒən
willwˈɪl
havehəv
takentˈeɪkən
placeplˈeɪs
andˈænd
theðə
survivorsəvˈaɪvɐ
willwˈɪl
havehəv
hadhˈæd
totˈuː
bearbˈeə
theðə
bruntbɹˈʌnt
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
.
RUD
Yesjˈɛs
,
that's
allˈɔːl
veryvˈɛɹi
wellwˈɛl
,
butbˈʌt
who'll
bebˈiː
foolfˈuːl
enoughɪnˈʌf
totˈuː
bebˈiː
theðə
survivorsəvˈaɪvɐ
?
(kneeling).
LUD
Actuatedˈæktʃuːˌeɪtɪd
bybˈaɪ
anˈɐn
overwhelmingˌəʊvəwˈɛlmɪŋ
sensesˈɛns
ofˈɒv
attachmentɐtˈætʃmənt
totˈuː
yourjˈɔː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
personpˈɜːsən
,
I
unhesitatinglyʌnhˈɛsɪtˌeɪtɪŋli
offerˈɒfɐ
myselfmaɪsˈɛlf
asəz
theðə
victimvˈɪktɪm
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
subjects'
furyfjˈɔːɹi
.
RUD
Youjˈuː
dodə
?
Wellwˈɛl
,
reallyɹˈiəli
that's
veryvˈɛɹi
handsomehˈændsʌm
.
I
daresaydˈeəseɪ
beingbˈiːɪŋ
blownblˈəʊn
upˈʌp
isˈɪz
notnˈɒt
nearlynˈiəli
asəz
unpleasantʌnplˈɛzənt
asəz
onewˈɒn
wouldwˈʊd
thinkθˈɪŋk
.
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
yesjˈɛs
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
.
Itˈɪt
mixesmˈɪksɪz
onewˈɒn
upˈʌp
,
awfullyˈɔːfəli
!
RUD
Butbˈʌt
supposesʌpˈəʊz
I
werewˈɜː
totˈuː
loselˈuːz
?
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
that's
easilyˈiːzɪli
arrangedɐɹˈeɪndʒd
.
(
Producingpɹədjˈuːsɪŋ
cardskˈɑːdz
)
I'll
putpʊt
anˈɐn
Aceˈeɪs
upˈʌp
mymˈaɪ
sleeveslˈiːv
—
you'll
putpʊt
a
Kingkˈɪŋ
upˈʌp
yoursjˈɔːz
.
Whenwˈɛn
theðə
drawing takes place, I shall seem to draw the higher card and you
LUD
theðə
lowerˈləʊ.ə
.
Andˈænd
thereðˈeə
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
!
RUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
butbˈʌt
that's
cheatingtʃˈiːtɪŋ
.
LUD
Sosˈəʊ
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
.
I
nevernˈɛvɐ
thoughtθˈɔːt
ofˈɒv
thatðˈæt
.
Going
RUD
(
hastilyhˈeɪstɪli
).
Notnˈɒt
thatðˈæt
I
mindmˈaɪnd
.
Butbˈʌt
I
saysˈeɪ
—
youjˈuː
won't
taketˈeɪk
anˈɐn
unfairʌnfˈeə
advantageɐdvˈɑːntɪdʒ
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
daydˈeɪ
ofˈɒv
officeˈɒfɪs
?
Youjˈuː
won't
goɡˈəʊ
tippingtˈɪpɪŋ
peoplepˈiːpəl
,
orˈɔː
squanderingskwˈɒndəɹɪŋ
mymˈaɪ
littlelˈɪtəl
savingssˈeɪvɪŋz
inˈɪn
fireworksfˈaɪəwɜːks
,
orˈɔː
anyˈɛni
nonsensenˈɒnsəns
ofˈɒv
thatðˈæt
sortsˈɔːt
?
LUD
I
aməm
hurthˈɜːt
—
reallyɹˈiəli
hurthˈɜːt
—
bybˈaɪ
theðə
suggestionsədʒˈɛstʃən
.
You—you wouldn't like to put down a deposit,
RUD
perhapspəhˈæps
?
LUD
Nonəʊ
.
I don't think I should like to put down a
LUD
depositdɪpˈɒsɪt
.
RUD
Orˈɔː
giveɡˈɪv
a
guaranteeɡˌæɹɑːntˈiː
?
LUD
A
guaranteeɡˌæɹɑːntˈiː
wouldwˈʊd
bebˈiː
equallyˈiːkwəli
openˈəʊpən
totˈuː
objectionɒbdʒˈɛkʃən
.
RUD
Itˈɪt
wouldwˈʊd
bebˈiː
moremˈɔː
regularɹˈɛɡjuːlɐ
.
Veryvˈɛɹi
wellwˈɛl
,
I
supposesʌpˈəʊz
youjˈuː
mustmˈʌst
havehəv
yourjˈɔː
ownˈəʊn
waywˈeɪ
.
LUD
Goodɡˈʊd
.
I
saysˈeɪ
—
wewˈiː
mustmˈʌst
havehəv
a
devildˈɛvəl
ofˈɒv
a
quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
!
RUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
a
devildˈɛvəl
ofˈɒv
a
quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
!
LUD
Justdʒˈʌst
totˈuː
giveɡˈɪv
colourkˈʌlɐ
totˈuː
theðə
thingθˈɪŋ
.
Shallʃˈæl
I
giveɡˈɪv
youjˈuː
a
soundsˈaʊnd
thrashingθɹˈæʃɪŋ
beforebɪfˈɔː
allˈɔːl
theðə
peoplepˈiːpəl
?
Saysˈeɪ
theðə
wordwˈɜːd
—
it's
nonəʊ
troubletɹˈʌbəl
.
RUD
Nonəʊ
,
I
thinkθˈɪŋk
notnˈɒt
,
thoughðˈəʊ
itˈɪt
wouldwˈʊd
bebˈiː
veryvˈɛɹi
convincingkənvˈɪnsɪŋ
andˈænd
it's
extremelyɛkstɹˈiːmli
goodɡˈʊd
andˈænd
thoughtfulθˈɔːtfəl
ofˈɒv
youjˈuː
totˈuː
suggestsədʒˈɛst
itˈɪt
.
Stillstˈɪl
,
a
devildˈɛvəl
ofˈɒv
a
quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
!
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
a
devildˈɛvəl
ofˈɒv
a
quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
!
RUD
Nonəʊ
halfhˈɑːf
measuresmˈɛʒəz
.
Bigbˈɪɡ
wordswˈɜːdz
—
strongstɹˈɒŋ
languagelˈæŋɡwɪdʒ
—
rudeɹˈuːd
remarksɹɪˈmɑɹks
.
Ohˈəʊ
,
a
devildˈɛvəl
ofˈɒv
a
quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
!
LUD
Nownˈaʊ
theðə
questionkwˈɛstʃən
isˈɪz
,
howhˈaʊ
shallʃˈæl
wewˈiː
summonsˈʌmən
theðə
peoplepˈiːpəl
?
RUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
there's
nonəʊ
difficultydˈɪfɪkˌʌlti
aboutɐbˈaʊt
thatðˈæt
.
Blessblˈɛs
yourjˈɔː
hearthˈɑːt
,
they've
beenbˈiːn
staringstˈeəɹɪŋ
atˈæt
usˈʌs
throughθɹˈuː
thoseðˈəʊz
windowswˈɪndəʊz
forfˈɔː
theðə
lastlˈɑːst
half-hour
!
Comekˈʌm
hitherhˈɪðɐ
,
allˈɔːl
youjˈuː
peoplepˈiːpəl
—
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
hearhˈiə
theðə
fearfulfˈiəfəl
newsnjˈuːz
,
All the pretty women weep'll,
RUD
Menmˈɛn
willwˈɪl
shiverʃˈɪvɐ
inˈɪn
theirðˈeə
shoesʃˈuːz
.
LUD
Andˈænd
they'll
allˈɔːl
crykɹˈaɪ
"
Lordlˈɔːd
,
defenddɪfˈɛnd
usˈʌs
!"
Whenwˈɛn
theyðˈeɪ
learnlˈɜːn
theðə
factfˈækt
tremendoustɹəmˈɛndəs
Thatðˈæt
totˈuː
giveɡˈɪv
thisðˈɪs
manmˈæn
hishˈɪz
gruelɡɹˈuːəl
Inˈɪn
a
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
—
BOTH
Thisðˈɪs
plebeianpləbˈiːən
manmˈæn
ofˈɒv
shoddyʃˈɒdi
—
Thisðˈɪs
contemptiblekəntˈɛmptəbəl
nobodynˈəʊbɒdˌi
—
Yourjˈɔː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
doesdəz
notnˈɒt
refuseˈɹɛfjuːs
!
(
Duringdjˈɔːɹɪŋ
thisðˈɪs
,
Choruskˈɔːɹəs
ofˈɒv
menmˈɛn
andˈænd
womenwˈɪmɪn
havehəv
enteredˈɛntəd
,
allˈɔːl
tremblingtɹˈɛmblɪŋ
withwˈɪð
apprehensionˌæpɹɪhˈɛnʃən
underˈʌndɐ
theðə
impressionɪmpɹˈɛʃən
thatðˈæt
theyðˈeɪ
areə(ɹ)
totˈuː
bebˈiː
arrestedɐɹˈɛstɪd
forfˈɔː
theirðˈeə
complicitykəmplˈɪsɪti
inˈɪn
theðə
conspiracykənspˈɪɹəsi
)
CHORUS
Withwˈɪð
falteringfˈɒltəɹɪŋ
feetfˈiːt
,
Andˈænd
ourˈaʊə
musclesmˈʌsəlz
inˈɪn
a
quiverkwˈɪvɐ
,
Ourˈaʊə
fatefˈeɪt
wewˈiː
meetmˈiːt
Withwˈɪð
ourˈaʊə
feelingsfˈiːlɪŋz
allˈɔːl
unstrungʌnstɹˈʌŋ
!
Ifˈɪf
ourˈaʊə
plotplˈɒt
completekəmplˈiːt
Heˈhiː
hashˈæz
managedmˈænɪdʒd
totˈuː
diskiver
,
There is no retreat—
CHORUS
Wewˈiː
shallʃˈæl
certainlysˈɜːtənli
bebˈiː
hunghˈʌŋ
!
(aside to LUDWIG).
RUD
Nownˈaʊ
youjˈuː
beginbɪɡˈɪn
andˈænd
pitchpˈɪtʃ
itˈɪt
strongstɹˈɒŋ
—
walkwˈɔːk
intoˈɪntʊ
memˈiː
abusivelyɐbjˈuːsɪvli
—
(aside to RUDOLPH).
LUD
I've
severalsˈɛvɹəl
epithetsˈɛpɪθɪts
thatðˈæt
I've
reservedɹɪˈzɝvd
forfˈɔː
youjˈuː
exclusivelyɛksklˈuːsɪvli
.
A
choicetʃˈɔɪs
selectionsɪlˈɛkʃən
I
havehəv
herehˈiə
whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
readyɹˈɛdi
totˈuː
beginbɪɡˈɪn
.
RUD
Nownˈaʊ
youjˈuː
beginbɪɡˈɪn
LUD
Nonəʊ
,
youjˈuː
beginbɪɡˈɪn
—
RUD
Nonəʊ
,
youjˈuː
beginbɪɡˈɪn
—
LUD
Nonəʊ
,
youjˈuː
beginbɪɡˈɪn
!
CHORUSkˈɔːɹəs
(
tremblingtɹˈɛmblɪŋ
).
Hashˈæz
itˈɪt
happedhæpt
asəz
wewˈiː
expectedɛkspˈɛktɪd
?
Isˈɪz
ourˈaʊə
littlelˈɪtəl
plotplˈɒt
detecteddɪtˈɛktɪd
?
DUETdjuːˈɛt
—
RUDOLPHˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
andˈænd
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
RUD
(
furiouslyfjˈɔːɹɪəsli
).
Bigbˈɪɡ
bombsbˈɒmz
,
smallsmˈɔːl
bombsbˈɒmz
,
greatɡɹˈeɪt
gunsɡˈʌnz
andˈænd
littlelˈɪtəl
oneswˈɒnz
!
Putpʊt
himhˈɪm
inˈɪn
a
pillorypˈɪləɹˌi
!
Rackɹˈæk
himhˈɪm
withwˈɪð
artilleryɑːtˈɪləɹi
!
LUD
(
furiouslyfjˈɔːɹɪəsli
).
Longlˈɒŋ
swordssˈɔːdz
,
shortʃˈɔːt
swordssˈɔːdz
,
toughtˈʌf
swordssˈɔːdz
andˈænd
brittlebɹˈɪtəl
oneswˈɒnz
!
Frightfɹˈaɪt
himhˈɪm
intoˈɪntʊ
fitsfˈɪts
!
Blowblˈəʊ
himhˈɪm
intoˈɪntʊ
bitsbˈɪts
!
RUD
Youjˈuː
muffmˈʌf
,
sirsˈɜː
!
LUD
Youjˈuː
loutlˈaʊt
,
sirsˈɜː
!
RUD
Enoughɪnˈʌf
,
sirsˈɜː
!
LUD
Getɡˈɛt
outˈaʊt
,
sirsˈɜː
!
(
Pushespˈʊʃɪz
himhˈɪm
)
RUD
A
hithˈɪt
,
sirsˈɜː
?
LUD
Taketˈeɪk
thatðˈæt
,
sirsˈɜː
!
(
Slapsslˈæps
himhˈɪm
)
RUD
It's
tittˈɪt
,
sirsˈɜː
,
LUD
Forfˈɔː
tattˈæt
,
sirsˈɜː
!
CHORUSkˈɔːɹəs
(
appalledɐpˈɔːld
).
Whenwˈɛn
twotˈuː
doughtydˈaʊti
heroeshˈiəɹəʊz
thunderθˈʌndɐ
,
Allˈɔːl
theðə
worldwˈɜːld
isˈɪz
lostlˈɒst
inˈɪn
wonderwˈʌndɐ
;
Whenwˈɛn
suchsˈʌtʃ
menmˈɛn
theirðˈeə
tempertˈɛmpɐ
loselˈuːz
,
Awfulˈɔːfəl
areə(ɹ)
theðə
wordswˈɜːdz
theyðˈeɪ
usejuːs
!
Talltˈɔːl
snobssnˈɒbz
,
smallsmˈɔːl
snobssnˈɒbz
,
richɹˈɪtʃ
snobssnˈɒbz
andˈænd
needynˈiːdi
oneswˈɒnz
!
RUD
(
jostlingdʒˈɒslɪŋ
himhˈɪm
).
Whomhˈuːm
areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
alludingɐlˈuːdɪŋ
totˈuː
?
LUD
(
jostlingdʒˈɒslɪŋ
himhˈɪm
).
Wherewˈeə
areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
intrudingɪntɹˈuːdɪŋ
totˈuː
?
RUD
Fatfˈæt
snobssnˈɒbz
,
thinθˈɪn
snobssnˈɒbz
,
swellswˈɛl
snobssnˈɒbz
andˈænd
seedysˈiːdi
oneswˈɒnz
!
LUD
I
ratherɹˈɑːðɐ
thinkθˈɪŋk
youjˈuː
errˈɜː
.
Totˈuː
whomhˈuːm
dodə
youjˈuː
referɹɪfˈɜː
?
RUD
Totˈuː
youjˈuː
,
sirsˈɜː
!
LUD
Totˈuː
memˈiː
,
sirsˈɜː
?
RUD
I
dodə
,
sirsˈɜː
!
LUD
We'll
seesˈiː
,
sirsˈɜː
!
RUD
I
jeerdʒˈiə
,
sirsˈɜː
!
(
Makesmˈeɪks
a
facefˈeɪs
atˈæt
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
)
Grimaceɡɹˈɪmɪs
,
sirsˈɜː
!
LUD
Looklˈʊk
herehˈiə
,
sirsˈɜː
—
(
Makesmˈeɪks
a
facefˈeɪs
atˈæt
RUDOLPHˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
)
A
facefˈeɪs
,
sirsˈɜː
!
CHORUSkˈɔːɹəs
(
appalledɐpˈɔːld
).
Whenwˈɛn
twotˈuː
heroeshˈiəɹəʊz
,
oncewˈɒns
pacificpɐsˈɪfɪk
,
Quarrelkwˈɒɹəl
,
theðə
effect's
terrifictəɹˈɪfɪk
!
Whatwˈɒt
a
horriblehˈɒɹɪbəl
grimaceɡɹˈɪmɪs
!
Whatwˈɒt
a
paralysingpˈæɹəlˌaɪzɪŋ
facefˈeɪs
!
ALL
Bigbˈɪɡ
bombsbˈɒmz
,
smallsmˈɔːl
bombsbˈɒmz
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
LUD
andˈænd
RUDɹʌd
.
(
recit
).
Heˈhiː
hashˈæz
insultedɪnsˈʌltɪd
memˈiː
,
andˈænd
,
inˈɪn
a
breathbɹˈɛθ
,
Thisðˈɪs
daydˈeɪ
wewˈiː
fightfˈaɪt
a
dueldjˈuːəl
totˈuː
theðə
deathdˈɛθ
!
NOT
(
checkingtʃˈɛkɪŋ
themðˈɛm
).
Youjˈuː
meanmˈiːn
,
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
bybˈaɪ
dueldjˈuːəl
(
verbum
satsˈæt
),
A
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
.
ALL
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
thatðˈæt
?
NOT
Accordingɐkˈɔːdɪŋ
totˈuː
establishedɪstˈæblɪʃt
legallˈiːɡəl
usesˈjuː.sɪz
,
A
cardkˈɑːd
apieceɐpˈiːs
eachˈiːtʃ
boldbˈəʊld
disputantdəˈspjutənt
choosestʃˈuːzɪz
—
Deaddˈɛd
asəz
a
doornaildˈɔːneɪl
isˈɪz
theðə
dogdˈɒɡ
whohˈuː
loseslˈuːzɪz
—
Theðə
winnerwˈɪnɐ
stepsstˈɛps
intoˈɪntʊ
theðə
deaddˈɛd
man's
shoeses
!
ALL
Theðə
winnerwˈɪnɐ
stepsstˈɛps
intoˈɪntʊ
theðə
deaddˈɛd
man's
shoeses
!
RUD
andˈænd
Ludlʌd
.
Agreedɐɡɹˈiːd
!
Agreedɐɡɹˈiːd
!
Comekˈʌm
,
comekˈʌm
—
theðə
packpˈæk
!
LUD
(
producingpɹədjˈuːsɪŋ
onewˈɒn
).
Beholdbɪhˈəʊld
itˈɪt
herehˈiə
!
RUD
I'm
onˈɒn
theðə
rackɹˈæk
!
LUD
I
quakekwˈeɪk
withwˈɪð
fearfˈiə
!
NOTARY offers card to LUDWIG
LUD
Firstfˈɜːst
drawdɹˈɔː
totˈuː
youjˈuː
!
RUD
Ifˈɪf
that's
theðə
casekˈeɪs
,
Beholdbɪhˈəʊld
theðə
Kingkˈɪŋ
!
(
Drawingdɹˈɔːɹɪŋ
cardkˈɑːd
fromfɹˈɒm
hishˈɪz
sleeveslˈiːv
)
LUD
(
samesˈeɪm
businessbˈɪznəs
).
Beholdbɪhˈəʊld
theðə
Aceˈeɪs
!
CHORUS
Hurrahhəɹˈɑː
,
hurrahhəɹˈɑː
!
Ourˈaʊə
Ludwig's
wonwʌn
Andˈænd
wickedˈwɪkɪd
Rudolph's
coursekˈɔːs
isˈɪz
runɹˈʌn
—
Sosˈəʊ
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
willwˈɪl
asəz
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
reignɹˈeɪn
Tilltˈɪl
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
comeskˈʌmz
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
againɐɡˈɛn
—
RUD
Whichwˈɪtʃ
willwˈɪl
occurəkˈɜː
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
!
I
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
!
GRET
(
withwˈɪð
mockingmˈɒkɪŋ
curtseykˈɜːtsi
).
Mymˈaɪ
Lordlˈɔːd
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
,
farewellfeəwˈɛl
!
A
pleasantplˈɛzənt
journeydʒˈɜːni
,
veryvˈɛɹi
,
Totˈuː
yourjˈɔː
convenientkənvˈiːnɪənt
cellsˈɛl
Inˈɪn
yonderjˈɒndɐ
cemeterysˈɛmɪtəɹi
!
LISAˈliːsə
(
curtseyingkˈɜːtsɪɪŋ
).
Thoughðˈəʊ
malcontentsmˈælkəntˌɛnts
abuseəˈbjuːs
youjˈuː
,
We're
muchmˈʌtʃ
distresseddɪstɹˈɛst
totˈuː
loselˈuːz
youjˈuː
!
Youjˈuː
werewˈɜː
,
whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
werewˈɜː
livinglˈɪvɪŋ
,
Sosˈəʊ
liberallˈɪbəɹəl
,
sosˈəʊ
forgivingfəɡˈɪvɪŋ
!
BERTHA
Sosˈəʊ
mercifulmˈɜːsɪfəl
,
sosˈəʊ
gentledʒˈɛntəl
!
Sosˈəʊ
highlyhˈaɪli
ormamental
!
OLGA
Andˈænd
nownˈaʊ
thatðˈæt
you've
departeddɪpˈɑːtɪd
,
Youjˈuː
leavelˈiːv
usˈʌs
broken-hearted
!
ALL (pretending to weep).
OLGA
Yesjˈɛs
,
trulytɹˈuːli
,
trulytɹˈuːli
,
trulytɹˈuːli
,
trulytɹˈuːli
—
Trulytɹˈuːli
broken-hearted
!
Hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
(
Mockingmˈɒkɪŋ
himhˈɪm
)
RUD
(
furiousfjˈɔːɹɪəs
).
Rapscallionsɹæpskˈæliənz
,
inˈɪn
penitentialpˌɛnɪtˈɛnʃəl
firesfˈaɪəz
,
You'll
rueɹˈuː
theðə
ribaldryɹˈɪbəldɹi
thatðˈæt
fromfɹˈɒm
youjˈuː
fallsfˈɔːlz
!
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
afternoonˌɑːf.təˈnuːn
theðə
lawlˈɔː
expiresɛkspˈaɪəz
.
Andˈænd
thenðˈɛn
—
looklˈʊk
outˈaʊt
forfˈɔː
squallsskwˈɒlz
!
[Exit RUDOLPH, amid general
RUD
ridiculeɹˈɪdɪkjˌuːl
.
CHORUS
Giveɡˈɪv
thanksθˈæŋks
,
giveɡˈɪv
thanksθˈæŋks
totˈuː
waywardwˈeɪwəd
fatefˈeɪt
—
Bybˈaɪ
mysticmˈɪstɪk
fortune's
swayswˈeɪ
,
Ourˈaʊə
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
guidesɡˈaɪdz
theðə
helmhˈɛlm
ofˈɒv
Statestˈeɪt
Forfˈɔː
onewˈɒn
delightfuldɪlˈaɪtfəl
daydˈeɪ
!
(
Totˈuː
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
)
Wewˈiː
hailhˈeɪl
youjˈuː
,
sirsˈɜː
!
Wewˈiː
greetɡɹˈiːt
youjˈuː
,
sirsˈɜː
!
Regaleɹɪɡˈeɪl
youjˈuː
,
sirsˈɜː
!
Wewˈiː
treattɹˈiːt
youjˈuː
,
sirsˈɜː
!
Ourˈaʊə
rulerɹˈuːlɐ
bebˈiː
Bybˈaɪ
fate's
decreedɪkɹˈiː
Forfˈɔː
onewˈɒn
delightfuldɪlˈaɪtfəl
daydˈeɪ
!
NOT
You've
donedˈʌn
itˈɪt
neatlynˈiːtli
!
Pitypˈɪti
thatðˈæt
yourjˈɔː
powerspˈaʊəz
Areə(ɹ)
limitedlˈɪmɪtɪd
totˈuː
four-and-twenty
hoursˈaʊəz
!
LUD
Nonəʊ
mattermˈætɐ
,
thoughðˈəʊ
theðə
timetˈaɪm
willwˈɪl
quicklykwˈɪkli
runɹˈʌn
,
Inˈɪn
hoursˈaʊəz
twenty-fourˌtwɛntiˈfɔː
muchmˈʌtʃ
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
donedˈʌn
!
LUDWIG
Ohˈəʊ
,
a
Monarchmˈɒnək
whohˈuː
boastsbˈəʊsts
intellectualˌɪntəlˈɛktʃuːəl
gracesɡɹˈeɪsɪz
Cankˈæn
dodə
,
ifˈɪf
heˈhiː
likeslˈaɪks
,
a
goodɡˈʊd
dealdˈiːl
inˈɪn
a
daydˈeɪ
—
Heˈhiː
cankˈæn
putpʊt
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
friendsfɹˈɛndz
inˈɪn
conspicuouskənspˈɪkjuːəs
placesplˈeɪsɪz
,
Withwˈɪð
plentyplˈɛnti
totˈuː
eatˈiːt
andˈænd
withwˈɪð
nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
totˈuː
paypˈeɪ
!
You'll
telltˈɛl
memˈiː
,
nonəʊ
doubtdˈaʊt
,
withwˈɪð
unpleasantʌnplˈɛzənt
grimacesɡɹˈɪmɪsɪz
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
depriveddɪpɹˈaɪvd
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
ribbonsɹˈɪbənz
andˈænd
laceslˈeɪsɪz
,
You'll
getɡˈɛt
yourjˈɔː
dismissaldɪsmˈɪsəl
—
withwˈɪð
veryvˈɛɹi
longlˈɒŋ
facesfˈeɪsɪz
—
Butbˈʌt
waitwˈeɪt
!
onˈɒn
thatðˈæt
topictˈɒpɪk
I've
somethingsˈʌmθɪŋ
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
!
(
Dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
)
I've
somethingsˈʌmθɪŋ
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
—
I've
somethingsˈʌmθɪŋ
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
—
I've
somethingsˈʌmθɪŋ
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
ourˈaʊə
ruleɹˈuːl
shallʃˈæl
bebˈiː
merrymˈɛɹi
—
I'm
notnˈɒt
anˈɐn
asceticɐsˈɛtɪk
—
Andˈænd
whilewˈaɪl
theðə
sunsˈʌn
shinesʃˈaɪnz
wewˈiː
willwˈɪl
getɡˈɛt
upˈʌp
ourˈaʊə
hayhˈeɪ
—
By a pushing young Monarch, of turn energetic,
LUDWIG
A
veryvˈɛɹi
greatɡɹˈeɪt
dealdˈiːl
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
donedˈʌn
inˈɪn
a
daydˈeɪ
!
CHORUS
Ohˈəʊ
,
hishˈɪz
ruleɹˈuːl
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
merrymˈɛɹi
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
During this, LUDWIG whispers to NOTARY, who writes
CHORUS
Forfˈɔː
instanceˈɪnstəns
,
thisðˈɪs
measuremˈɛʒɐ
(
hishˈɪz
ancestorˈænsɛstɐ
drewdɹˈuː
itˈɪt
),
alluding to NOTARY
CHORUS
Thisðˈɪs
lawlˈɔː
againstɐɡˈɛnst
duelsdjˈuːəlz
—
to-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
willwˈɪl
diedˈaɪ
—
Theðə
Dukedjˈuːk
willwˈɪl
reviveɹɪvˈaɪv
,
andˈænd
you'll
certainlysˈɜːtənli
rueɹˈuː
itˈɪt
—
He'll
giveɡˈɪv
youjˈuː
"
whatwˈɒt
forfˈɔː
"
andˈænd
he'll
letlˈɛt
youjˈuː
knownˈəʊ
whywˈaɪ
!
Butbˈʌt
inˈɪn
twenty-fourˌtwɛntiˈfɔː
hoursˈaʊəz
there's
timetˈaɪm
totˈuː
renewɹɪnjˈuː
itˈɪt
—
Withwˈɪð
a
century's
lifelˈaɪf
I've
theðə
rightɹˈaɪt
totˈuː
imbueɪmbjˈuː
itˈɪt
—
It's
easyˈiːzi
totˈuː
dodə
—
andˈænd
,
bybˈaɪ
Jingodʒˈɪŋɡəʊ
,
I'll
dodə
itˈɪt
!
Signing paper, which NOTARY presents
CHORUS
It's
donedˈʌn
!
Tilltˈɪl
I
perishpˈɛɹɪʃ
yourjˈɔː
Monarchmˈɒnək
aməm
I
!
Yourjˈɔː
Monarchmˈɒnək
aməm
I
—
yourjˈɔː
Monarchmˈɒnək
aməm
I
—
yourjˈɔː
Monarchmˈɒnək
aməm
I
!
Thoughðˈəʊ
I
dodə
notnˈɒt
pretendpɹɪtˈɛnd
totˈuː
bebˈiː
veryvˈɛɹi
propheticpɹɒfˈɛtɪk
,
I
fancyfˈænsi
I
knownˈəʊ
whatwˈɒt
you're
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
—
By a pushing young Monarch, of turn energetic,
CHORUS
A
veryvˈɛɹi
greatɡɹˈeɪt
dealdˈiːl
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
donedˈʌn
inˈɪn
a
daydˈeɪ
!
ALLˈɔːl
(
astonishedɐstˈɒnɪʃt
).
Ohˈəʊ
,
it's
simplysˈɪmpli
uncannyʌnkˈæni
,
hishˈɪz
powerpˈaʊɐ
propheticpɹɒfˈɛtɪk
—
It's
perfectlypˈɜːfɛktlˌi
rightɹˈaɪt
—
wewˈiː
werewˈɜː
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
,
Bybˈaɪ
a
pushingpˈʊʃɪŋ
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
Enter JULIA, at back.
LUD
(
recit
).
Thisðˈɪs
veryvˈɛɹi
afternoonˌɑːf.təˈnuːn
—
atˈæt
twotˈuː
(
aboutɐbˈaʊt
)—
Theðə
Courtkˈɔːt
appointmentsɐpˈɔɪntmənts
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
givenɡˈɪvən
outˈaʊt
.
Totˈuː
eachˈiːtʃ
andˈænd
allˈɔːl
(
forfˈɔː
thatðˈæt
waswˈɒz
theðə
conditionkəndˈɪʃən
)
Accordingɐkˈɔːdɪŋ
totˈuː
professionalpɹəfˈɛʃənəl
positionpəzˈɪʃən
!
ALL
Hurrahhəɹˈɑː
!
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
comingkˈʌmɪŋ
forwardfˈɔːwəd
).
Accordingɐkˈɔːdɪŋ
totˈuː
professionalpɹəfˈɛʃənəl
positionpəzˈɪʃən
?
LUD
Accordingɐkˈɔːdɪŋ
totˈuː
professionalpɹəfˈɛʃənəl
positionpəzˈɪʃən
!
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
Thenðˈɛn
,
horrorhˈɒɹɐ
!
ALL
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
What's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
What's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
LISA clinging to her
JULIA
Ahˈɑː
,
pitypˈɪti
memˈiː
,
mymˈaɪ
comradeskˈɒmɹeɪdz
truetɹˈuː
,
Whohˈuː
lovelˈʌv
,
asəz
wellwˈɛl
I
knownˈəʊ
youjˈuː
dodə
,
Thisðˈɪs
gentledʒˈɛntəl
childtʃˈaɪld
,
Totˈuː
memˈiː
sosˈəʊ
fondlyfˈɒndli
deardˈiə
!
ALL
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
Ourˈaʊə
sistersˈɪstɐ
lovelˈʌv
sosˈəʊ
truetɹˈuː
andˈænd
deepdˈiːp
From many an eye unused to weep
ALL
Hathhˈæθ
oftˈɒft
beguiledbɪɡˈaɪld
Theðə
coykˈɔɪ
reluctantɹɪlˈʌktənt
teartɛə
!
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
Eachˈiːtʃ
sympatheticsˌɪmpəθˈɛtɪk
hearthˈɑːt
'twill
bruisebɹˈuːz
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
havehəv
heardhˈɜːd
theðə
frightfulfɹˈaɪtfəl
newsnjˈuːz
O will it not?
ALL
Thatðˈæt
I
mustmˈʌst
nownˈaʊ
impartɪmpˈɑːt
!
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
JULIA
Herhˈɜː
lovelˈʌv
forfˈɔː
himhˈɪm
isˈɪz
allˈɔːl
inˈɪn
allˈɔːl
!
Ahˈɑː
,
cursedˈkɜːsɪd
fatefˈeɪt
!
thatðˈæt
itˈɪt
shouldʃˈʊd
fallfˈɔːl
Untoˈʌntʊ
mymˈaɪ
lotlˈɒt
Totˈuː
breakbɹˈeɪk
mymˈaɪ
darling's
hearthˈɑːt
!
ALL
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
LUD
Whatwˈɒt
meansmˈiːnz
ourˈaʊə
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
bybˈaɪ
thoseðˈəʊz
fatefulfˈeɪtfəl
lookslˈʊks
?
Pleaseplˈiːz
dodə
notnˈɒt
keepkˈiːp
usˈʌs
allˈɔːl
onˈɒn
tenter-hooks-
Nownˈaʊ
,
what's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
?
JULIA
Ourˈaʊə
dutydjˈuːti
,
ifˈɪf
we're
wisewˈaɪz
,
Wewˈiː
nevernˈɛvɐ
shunʃˈʌn
.
Thisðˈɪs
Spartanspˈɑːtən
ruleɹˈuːl
appliesɐplˈaɪz
Totˈuː
everyˈɛvɹi
onewˈɒn
.
Inˈɪn
theatresθˈiətəz
,
asəz
inˈɪn
lifelˈaɪf
,
Eachˈiːtʃ
hashˈæz
herhˈɜː
linelˈaɪn
—
Thisðˈɪs
partpˈɑːt
—
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duke's
wifewˈaɪf
(
Ohˈəʊ
agonyˈæɡəni
!)
isˈɪz
minemˈaɪn
!
A
maximmˈæksɪm
newnjˈuː
I
dodə
notnˈɒt
startstˈɑːt
—
Theðə
canonskˈænənz
ofˈɒv
dramaticdɹəmˈætɪk
artˈɑːt
Decreedɪkɹˈiː
thatðˈæt
thisðˈɪs
repulsiveɹɪpˈʌlsɪv
partpˈɑːt
The Grand Duke's wife
JULIA
Isˈɪz
minemˈaɪn
!
ALL
Ohˈəʊ
,
that's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
!
LISAˈliːsə
(
appalledɐpˈɔːld
,
totˈuː
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
).
Cankˈæn
thatðˈæt
bebˈiː
sosˈəʊ
?
LUD
I
dodə
notnˈɒt
knownˈəʊ
—
Butbˈʌt
timetˈaɪm
willwˈɪl
showʃˈəʊ
Ifˈɪf
thatðˈæt
bebˈiː
sosˈəʊ
.
CHORUS
Cankˈæn
thatðˈæt
bebˈiː
sosˈəʊ
?
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
LISAˈliːsə
(
recit
).
Bebˈiː
mercifulmˈɜːsɪfəl
!
DUETdjuːˈɛt
—
LISAˈliːsə
andˈænd
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
.
LISA
Ohˈəʊ
,
listenlˈɪsən
totˈuː
memˈiː
,
deardˈiə
—
I
lovelˈʌv
himhˈɪm
onlyˈəʊnli
,
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
!
Rememberɹɪmˈɛmbɐ
,
ohˈəʊ
,
mymˈaɪ
petpˈɛt
,
Onˈɒn
himhˈɪm
mymˈaɪ
hearthˈɑːt
isˈɪz
setsˈɛt
Thisðˈɪs
kindnesskˈaɪndnəs
dodə
memˈiː
,
dear-
Nornˈɔː
leavelˈiːv
memˈiː
lonelylˈəʊnli
,
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
!
Bebˈiː
mercifulmˈɜːsɪfəl
,
mymˈaɪ
petpˈɛt
,
Ourˈaʊə
lovelˈʌv
dodə
notnˈɒt
forgetfəɡˈɛt
!
JULIA
Nownˈaʊ
don't
bebˈiː
foolishfˈuːlɪʃ
,
deardˈiə
—
Youjˈuː
couldn't
playplˈeɪ
itˈɪt
,
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
!
It's
"
leadingˈliːdɪŋ
businessbˈɪznəs
",
petpˈɛt
Andˈænd
you're
butbˈʌt
a
soubrettesaʊbɹˈɛt
.
Sosˈəʊ
don't
bebˈiː
mulishˈmjuːlɪʃ
,
dear-
Althoughɒlðˈəʊ
I
saysˈeɪ
itˈɪt
,
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
,
It's
notnˈɒt
yourjˈɔː
linelˈaɪn
,
mymˈaɪ
petpˈɛt
—
I
playplˈeɪ
thatðˈæt
partpˈɑːt
,
youjˈuː
betbˈɛt
!
I
playplˈeɪ
thatðˈæt
partpˈɑːt
—
I
playplˈeɪ
thatðˈæt
partpˈɑːt
,
youjˈuː
betbˈɛt
!
LISA overwhelmed with grief
NOT
Theðə
lady's
rightɹˈaɪt
.
Thoughðˈəʊ
Julia's
engagementɛnɡˈeɪdʒmənt
Waswˈɒz
forfˈɔː
theðə
stagestˈeɪdʒ
meantmˈɛnt
—
Itˈɪt
certainlysˈɜːtənli
freesfɹˈiːz
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
fromfɹˈɒm
hishˈɪz
Connubialkəˈnjuː.bi.əl
promisepɹˈɒmɪs
.
Thoughðˈəʊ
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
contractsˈkɒn.tɹækts
—
orˈɔː
whate'er
youjˈuː
callkˈɔːl
'em
—
Areə(ɹ)
veryvˈɛɹi
solemnsˈɒləm
,
Dramaticdɹəmˈætɪk
contractsˈkɒn.tɹækts
(
whichwˈɪtʃ
youjˈuː
allˈɔːl
adoreɐdˈɔː
sosˈəʊ
)
Areə(ɹ)
evenˈiːvən
moremˈɔː
sosˈəʊ
!
ALL
That's
veryvˈɛɹi
truetɹˈuː
!
Thoughðˈəʊ
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
contractsˈkɒn.tɹækts
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
LISA
Theðə
diedˈaɪ
isˈɪz
castkˈɑːst
,
Mymˈaɪ
hopehˈəʊp
hashˈæz
perishedpˈɛɹɪʃt
!
Farewellfeəwˈɛl
,
O
Pastpˈɑːst
,
Tootˈuː
brightbɹˈaɪt
totˈuː
lastlˈɑːst
,
Yetjˈɛt
fondlyfˈɒndli
cherishedtʃˈɛɹɪʃt
!
Mymˈaɪ
lightlˈaɪt
hashˈæz
fledflˈɛd
,
Mymˈaɪ
hopehˈəʊp
isˈɪz
deaddˈɛd
,
Itsˈɪts
doomdˈuːm
isˈɪz
spokenspˈəʊkən
—
Mymˈaɪ
daydˈeɪ
isˈɪz
nightnˈaɪt
,
Mymˈaɪ
wrongɹˈɒŋ
isˈɪz
rightɹˈaɪt
Inˈɪn
allˈɔːl
men's
sightsˈaɪt
—
Mymˈaɪ
hearthˈɑːt
isˈɪz
brokenbɹˈəʊkən
!
[Exit
weeping.
LUD
(
recit
).
Poorpˈɔː
childtʃˈaɪld
,
wherewˈeə
willwˈɪl
sheʃˈiː
goɡˈəʊ
?
Whatwˈɒt
willwˈɪl
sheʃˈiː
dodə
?
JULIA
Thatðˈæt
isn't
inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
partpˈɑːt
,
youjˈuː
knownˈəʊ
.
(sighing).
LUD
Quitekwaɪt
truetɹˈuː
!
(
Withwˈɪð
anˈɐn
effortˈɛfət
)
Depressingdɪpɹˈɛsɪŋ
topicstˈɒpɪks
we'll
notnˈɒt
touchtˈʌtʃ
uponəpˈɒn
—
Letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
beginbɪɡˈɪn
asəz
wewˈiː
areə(ɹ)
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
onˈɒn
!
Forfˈɔː
thisðˈɪs
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
a
jollydʒˈɒli
Courtkˈɔːt
,
forfˈɔː
littlelˈɪtəl
andˈænd
forfˈɔː
bigbˈɪɡ
!
ALL
Singsˈɪŋ
heyhˈeɪ
,
theðə
jollydʒˈɒli
jinksdʒˈɪŋks
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
!
LUD
Fromfɹˈɒm
mornmˈɔːn
totˈuː
nightnˈaɪt
ourˈaʊə
liveslɪvz
shallʃˈæl
bebˈiː
asəz
merrymˈɛɹi
asəz
a
grigɡɹˈɪɡ
!
ALL
Singsˈɪŋ
heyhˈeɪ
,
theðə
jollydʒˈɒli
jinksdʒˈɪŋks
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
!
LUD
Allˈɔːl
statestˈeɪt
andˈænd
ceremonysˈɛɹɪməni
we'll
eternallyɪtˈɜːnəli
abolishɐbˈɒlɪʃ
—
Wewˈiː
don't
meanmˈiːn
totˈuː
insistɪnsˈɪst
uponəpˈɒn
unnecessaryʌnnˈɛsəsəɹi
polishˈpəʊlɪʃ
—
Andˈænd
,
onˈɒn
theðə
wholehˈəʊl
,
I
ratherɹˈɑːðɐ
thinkθˈɪŋk
you'll
findfˈaɪnd
ourˈaʊə
ruleɹˈuːl
tollolish
!
ALL
Singsˈɪŋ
heyhˈeɪ
,
theðə
jollydʒˈɒli
jinksdʒˈɪŋks
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
!
JULIA
Butbˈʌt
staystˈeɪ
—
yourjˈɔː
new-made
Courtkˈɔːt
Withoutwɪðˈaʊt
a
courtlykˈɔːtli
coatkˈəʊt
isˈɪz
—
Wewˈiː
shallʃˈæl
requireɹɪkwˈaɪə
Somesˈʌm
Courtkˈɔːt
attireɐtˈaɪə
,
Andˈænd
atˈæt
a
moment's
noticenˈəʊtɪs
.
In clothes of common sort
JULIA
Yourjˈɔː
courtierskˈɔːtiəz
mustmˈʌst
notnˈɒt
grovelɡɹˈɒvəl
—
Yourjˈɔː
newnjˈuː
noblessenˈəʊbləs
Mustmˈʌst
havehəv
a
dressdɹˈɛs
Originaləɹˈɪdʒɪnəl
andˈænd
novelnˈɒvəl
!
LUD
Oldˈəʊld
Athensˈæθənz
we'll
exhumeɛɡzjˈuːm
!
Theðə
necessarynˈɛsəsəɹi
dressesdɹˈɛsɪz
,
Correctkəɹˈɛkt
andˈænd
truetɹˈuː
Andˈænd
allˈɔːl
brand-newˈbɹænd ˌn(j)uː
,
Theðə
companykˈʌmpəni
possessespəzˈɛsɪz
:
Henceforthhˈɛnsfɔːθ
ourˈaʊə
Courtkˈɔːt
costumekˈɒstjuːm
Shallʃˈæl
livelɪv
inˈɪn
songsˈɒŋ
andˈænd
storystˈɔːɹi
,
Forfˈɔː
we'll
upraise
Theðə
deaddˈɛd
oldˈəʊld
daysdˈeɪz
Ofˈɒv
Athensˈæθənz
inˈɪn
herhˈɜː
gloryɡlˈɔːɹi
!
ALL
Yesjˈɛs
,
let's
upraise
Theðə
deaddˈɛd
oldˈəʊld
daysdˈeɪz
Ofˈɒv
Athensˈæθənz
inˈɪn
herhˈɜː
gloryɡlˈɔːɹi
!
Agreedɐɡɹˈiːd
!
Agreedɐɡɹˈiːd
!
Forfˈɔː
thisðˈɪs
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
a
jollydʒˈɒli
Courtkˈɔːt
forfˈɔː
littlelˈɪtəl
andˈænd
forfˈɔː
bigbˈɪɡ
!
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
(
Theyðˈeɪ
carrykˈæɹi
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
roundɹˈaʊnd
stagestˈeɪdʒ
andˈænd
depositdɪpˈɒsɪt
himhˈɪm
onˈɒn
theðə
ironworkˈaɪənwɜːk
ofˈɒv
wellwˈɛl
.
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
standsstˈændz
bybˈaɪ
himhˈɪm
,
andˈænd
theðə
restɹˈɛst
groupɡɹˈuːp
roundɹˈaʊnd
themðˈɛm
)
ACT II.
SCENE.
(THE NEXT MORNING)
—
Entranceˈɛn.tɹəns
Hallhˈɔːl
ofˈɒv
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
Palacepˈælɪs
.
Enter a procession of the members of the theatrical company (now
(THE NEXT MORNING)
dresseddɹˈɛst
inˈɪn
theðə
costumeskˈɒstjuːmz
ofˈɒv
Troilus
andˈænd
Cressida
),
carryingkˈæɹɪɪŋ
garlandsɡˈɑːləndz
,
playingplˈeɪɪŋ
onˈɒn
pipespˈaɪps
,
citharae
,
andˈænd
cymbalssˈɪmbəlz
,
andˈænd
heraldinghˈɛɹəldɪŋ
theðə
returnɹɪˈtɜːn
ofˈɒv
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
andˈænd
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
fromfɹˈɒm
theðə
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
ceremonysˈɛɹɪməni
,
whichwˈɪtʃ
hashˈæz
justdʒˈʌst
takentˈeɪkən
placeplˈeɪs
.
CHORUS
Asəz
beforebɪfˈɔː
youjˈuː
wewˈiː
defiledɪˈfaɪl
,
Eloia
!
Eloia
!
Praypɹˈeɪ
youjˈuː
,
gentlesdʒˈɛntəlz
,
dodə
notnˈɒt
smilesmˈaɪl
If we shout, in classic style,
CHORUS
Eloia
!
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
andˈænd
hishˈɪz
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
truetɹˈuː
Weddedwˈɛdɪd
areə(ɹ)
eachˈiːtʃ
otherˈʌðɐ
totˈuː
—
Sosˈəʊ
wewˈiː
singsˈɪŋ
,
tilltˈɪl
allˈɔːl
isˈɪz
blueblˈuː
,
Eloia
!
Eloia
!
Opoponax
!
Eloia
!
Wreathsɹˈiːθs
ofˈɒv
baybˈeɪ
andˈænd
ivyˈaɪvi
twinetwˈaɪn
,
Eloia
!
Eloia
!
Fillfˈɪl
theðə
bowlbˈəʊl
withwˈɪð
Lesbianlˈɛsbiən
winewˈaɪn
,
Andˈænd
totˈuː
revelryɹˈɛvəlɹi
inclineɪnˈklaɪn
—
Eloia
!
Forfˈɔː
asəz
gailyɡˈeɪli
wewˈiː
passpˈɑːs
onˈɒn
Probablypɹˈɒbəbli
wewˈiː
shallʃˈæl
,
anonɐnˈɒn
,
Singsˈɪŋ
a
Diergeticon
—
Eloia
!
Eloia
!
Opoponax
!
Eloia
!
LUDWIG
Yourjˈɔː
loyaltylˈɔɪəlti
ourˈaʊə
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
heartstringshˈɑːtstɹɪŋz
touchestˈʌtʃɪz
:
Allowɐlˈaʊ
memˈiː
totˈuː
presentˈpɹɛzənt
yourjˈɔː
newnjˈuː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
.
Shouldʃˈʊd
sheʃˈiː
offendəfˈɛnd
,
you'll
graciouslyɡɹˈeɪʃəsli
excuseɪkˈskjuːz
herhˈɜː
—
Andˈænd
kindlykˈaɪndli
recollectɹɛkəˈlɛkt
I
didn't
choosetʃˈuːz
herhˈɜː
!
Atˈæt
theðə
outsetˈaʊtsɛt
I
maymˈeɪ
mentionmˈɛnʃən
it's
mymˈaɪ
sovereignsˈɒvəɹˌɪn
intentionɪntˈɛnʃən
Totˈuː
reviveɹɪvˈaɪv
theðə
classicklˈæsɪk
memoriesmˈɛməɹˌiz
ofˈɒv
Athensˈæθənz
atˈæt
itsˈɪts
bestbˈɛst
,
Forfˈɔː
theðə
companykˈʌmpəni
possessespəzˈɛsɪz
allˈɔːl
theðə
necessarynˈɛsəsəɹi
dressesdɹˈɛsɪz
Andˈænd
a
coursekˈɔːs
ofˈɒv
quietkwˈaɪət
crammingkɹˈæmɪŋ
willwˈɪl
supplysəˈplaɪ
usˈʌs
withwˈɪð
theðə
restɹˈɛst
.
We've
a
choirkwˈaɪə
hyporchematic
(
thatðˈæt
isˈɪz
,
ballet-operatic
)
Whohˈuː
respondɹɪspˈɒnd
totˈuː
theðə
choreut
ofˈɒv
thatðˈæt
cultivatedkˈʌltɪvˌeɪtɪd
ageˈeɪdʒ
,
Andˈænd
ourˈaʊə
cleverklˈɛvɐ
chorus-master
,
allˈɔːl
butbˈʌt
captiousˈkæpʃəs
criticaster
Wouldwˈʊd
acceptɐksˈɛpt
asəz
theðə
choreguskəˈɹiːɡəs
ofˈɒv
theðə
earlyˈɜːli
Atticˈætɪk
stagestˈeɪdʒ
.
Thisðˈɪs
returnɹɪˈtɜːn
totˈuː
classicklˈæsɪk
agesˈeɪdʒɪz
isˈɪz
consideredkənsˈɪdəd
inˈɪn
theirðˈeə
wageswˈeɪdʒɪz
,
Whichwˈɪtʃ
areə(ɹ)
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
calculatedkˈælkjʊlˌeɪtɪd
bybˈaɪ
theðə
daydˈeɪ
orˈɔː
bybˈaɪ
theðə
weekwˈiːk
—
Andˈænd
I'll
paypˈeɪ
'em
(
ifˈɪf
they'll
backbˈæk
memˈiː
)
allˈɔːl
inˈɪn
oboloi
andˈænd
drachmdɹæm
,
Whichwˈɪtʃ
they'll
getɡˈɛt
(
ifˈɪf
theyðˈeɪ
preferpɹɪfˈɜː
itˈɪt
)
atˈæt
theðə
Kalendsˈkæləndz
thatðˈæt
areə(ɹ)
Greekɡɹiːk
!
Confidentially to audience
LUDWIG
Atˈæt
thisðˈɪs
juncturedʒˈʌŋktʃɐ
I
maymˈeɪ
mentionmˈɛnʃən
Thatðˈæt
thisðˈɪs
eruditionˌɛɹuːdˈɪʃən
shamʃˈæm
Isˈɪz
butbˈʌt
classicalklˈæsɪkəl
pretensionpɹɪtˈɛnʃən
,
Theðə
resultɹɪzˈʌlt
ofˈɒv
steadystˈɛdi
"
cramkɹˈæm
.
":
Periphrasticˌpɛ.ɹɪˈfɹæ.stik
methodsmˈɛθədz
spurningspˈɜːnɪŋ
,
Totˈuː
thisðˈɪs
audienceˈɔːdiəns
discerningdɪsˈɜːnɪŋ
I
admitɐdmˈɪt
thisðˈɪs
showʃˈəʊ
ofˈɒv
learninglˈɜːnɪŋ
Isˈɪz
theðə
fruitfɹˈuːt
ofˈɒv
steadystˈɛdi
"
cramkɹˈæm
.
"!
CHORUS
Periphrasticˌpɛ.ɹɪˈfɹæ.stik
methodsmˈɛθədz
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
Inˈɪn
theðə
periodpˈiəɹɪəd
Socratic
everyˈɛvɹi
dining-roomˈdaɪnɪŋˌɹum
waswˈɒz
Atticˈætɪk
(
Whichwˈɪtʃ
suggestssədʒˈɛsts
anˈɐn
architectureˈɑːkɪtˌɛktʃɐ
ofˈɒv
a
topsy-turvyˌtɒpsɪˈtəːvi
kindkˈaɪnd
),
Thereðˈeə
they'd
satisfysˈætɪsfˌaɪ
theirðˈeə
thirstθˈɜːst
onˈɒn
a
rechercheɹəˌʃɛɹˈʃeɪ
coldkˈəʊld
{
Greekɡɹiːk
wordwˈɜːd
}
Whichwˈɪtʃ
isˈɪz
whatwˈɒt
theyðˈeɪ
calledkˈɔːld
theirðˈeə
lunchlˈʌntʃ
—
andˈænd
sosˈəʊ
maymˈeɪ
youjˈuː
ifˈɪf
you're
inclinedɪnklˈaɪnd
.
Asəz
theyðˈeɪ
graduallyɡɹˈædʒuːəli
gotɡˈɒt
onˈɒn
,
they'd
{
fourfˈɔː
Greekɡɹiːk
wordswˈɜːdz
)
(
Whichwˈɪtʃ
isˈɪz
Atticˈætɪk
forfˈɔː
a
steadystˈɛdi
andˈænd
a
conscientiouskˌɒnsɪˈɛnʃəs
drinkdɹˈɪŋk
).
Butbˈʌt
theyðˈeɪ
mixedmˈɪkst
theirðˈeə
winewˈaɪn
withwˈɪð
waterwˈɔːtɐ
—
whichwˈɪtʃ
I'm
sureʃˈɔː
theyðˈeɪ
didn't
oughter
—
Andˈænd
wewˈiː
modernmˈɒdən
Saxonsˈsæksən
knownˈəʊ
a
tricktɹˈɪk
worthwˈɜːθ
twotˈuː
ofˈɒv
thatðˈæt
,
I
thinkθˈɪŋk
!
Thenðˈɛn
camekˈeɪm
ratherɹˈɑːðɐ
riskyɹˈɪski
dancesdˈɑːnsɪz
(
underˈʌndɐ
certainsˈɜːtən
circumstancessˈɜːkəmstˌænsɪz
)
Whichwˈɪtʃ
wouldwˈʊd
shockʃˈɒk
thatðˈæt
worthywˈɜːði
gentlemandʒˈɛntəlmən
,
theðə
Licenserˈlaɪsənsəɹ
ofˈɒv
Playsplˈeɪz
,
Corybantian
maniacmˈeɪnɪˌæk
kickkˈɪk
—
Dionysiacdaɪəˈnɪziæk
orˈɔː
Bacchic
—
Andˈænd
theðə
Dithyrambic
revelsɹˈɛvəlz
ofˈɒv
thoseðˈəʊz
undecorous
daysdˈeɪz
.
Confidentially to audience
CHORUS
Andˈænd
perhapspəhˈæps
I'd
betterbˈɛtɐ
mentionmˈɛnʃən
,
Lestlˈɛst
alarmingɐlˈɑːmɪŋ
youjˈuː
I
aməm
,
Thatðˈæt
itˈɪt
isn't
ourˈaʊə
intentionɪntˈɛnʃən
Totˈuː
performpəfˈɔːm
a
Dithyrambˈdɪθ.ɪ.ɹæm
—
Itˈɪt
displaysdɪsplˈeɪz
a
lotlˈɒt
ofˈɒv
stockingstˈɒkɪŋ
,
Whichwˈɪtʃ
isˈɪz
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
veryvˈɛɹi
shockingʃˈɒkɪŋ
,
Andˈænd
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
I'm
onlyˈəʊnli
mockingmˈɒkɪŋ
Atˈæt
theðə
prevalencepɹˈɛvələns
ofˈɒv
"
cramkɹˈæm
"!
Itˈɪt
displaysdɪsplˈeɪz
a
lotlˈɒt
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
Yesjˈɛs
,
onˈɒn
reconsiderationɹˌiːkənsˌɪdəɹˈeɪʃən
,
thereðˈeə
areə(ɹ)
customskˈʌstəmz
ofˈɒv
thatðˈæt
nationnˈeɪʃən
Whichwˈɪtʃ
areə(ɹ)
notnˈɒt
inˈɪn
strictstɹˈɪkt
accordanceɐkˈɔːdəns
withwˈɪð
theðə
habitshˈæbɪts
ofˈɒv
ourˈaʊə
daydˈeɪ
,
Andˈænd
whenwˈɛn
I
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
codifykˈəʊdɪfˌaɪ
,
theirðˈeə
rulesɹˈuːlz
I
meanmˈiːn
totˈuː
modifymˈɒdɪfˌaɪ
,
Orˈɔː
Mrsˈmɪsɪz
.
Grundyˈɡɹʌn.di
,
p'r'aps
,
maymˈeɪ
havehəv
a
wordwˈɜːd
orˈɔː
twotˈuː
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
.
Forfˈɔː
theyðˈeɪ
hadn't
macintoshesmˈækɪntˌɒʃɪz
orˈɔː
umbrellasʌmbɹˈɛləz
orˈɔː
goloshes
—
Andˈænd
a
showerˈʃaʊ.ə(ɹ)
withwˈɪð
theirðˈeə
dressesdɹˈɛsɪz
mustmˈʌst
havehəv
playedplˈeɪd
theðə
veryvˈɛɹi
deucedjˈuːs
,
Andˈænd
itˈɪt
mustmˈʌst
havehəv
beenbˈiːn
unpleasingʌnplˈiːzɪŋ
whenwˈɛn
theyðˈeɪ
caughtkˈɔːt
a
fitfˈɪt
ofˈɒv
sneezingsnˈiːzɪŋ
,
Forfˈɔː
,
itˈɪt
seemssˈiːmz
,
ofˈɒv
pocket-handkerchiefs
theyðˈeɪ
didn't
knownˈəʊ
theðə
usejuːs
.
Theyðˈeɪ
worewˈɔː
littlelˈɪtəl
underclothingˌʌndəklˈəʊðɪŋ
—
scarcelyskˈeəsli
anythingˈɛnɪθˌɪŋ
—
orˈɔː
nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
—
Andˈænd
theirðˈeə
dressdɹˈɛs
ofˈɒv
Coan
silksˈɪlk
waswˈɒz
quitekwaɪt
transparenttɹænspˈæɹənt
inˈɪn
designdɪzˈaɪn
—
Wellwˈɛl
,
inˈɪn
factfˈækt
,
inˈɪn
summersˈʌmɐ
weatherwˈɛðɐ
,
somethingsˈʌmθɪŋ
likelˈaɪk
theðə
"
altogetherˌɔːltəɡˈɛðɐ
"
And it's there, I rather fancy, I shall have to draw the
CHORUS
linelˈaɪn
!
Confidentially to audience
CHORUS
Andˈænd
againɐɡˈɛn
I
wishwˈɪʃ
totˈuː
mentionmˈɛnʃən
Thatðˈæt
thisðˈɪs
eruditionˌɛɹuːdˈɪʃən
shamʃˈæm
Isˈɪz
butbˈʌt
classicalklˈæsɪkəl
pretensionpɹɪtˈɛnʃən
,
Theðə
resultɹɪzˈʌlt
ofˈɒv
steadystˈɛdi
"
cramkɹˈæm
.
"
Yetjˈɛt
mymˈaɪ
classicklˈæsɪk
lorelˈɔː
aggressiveɐɡɹˈɛsɪv
If you'll pardon the possessive
CHORUS
Isˈɪz
exceedinglyɛksˈiːdɪŋli
impressiveɪmpɹˈɛsɪv
Whenwˈɛn
you're
passingpˈɑːsɪŋ
anˈɐn
examɛɡzˈæm
.
Yetjˈɛt
hishˈɪz
classicklˈæsɪk
lorelˈɔː
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
[Exeunt Chorus.
CHORUS
Manent
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
,
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
,
andˈænd
LISAˈliːsə
.
LUD
(
recit
).
Yesjˈɛs
,
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
andˈænd
hishˈɪz
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
areə(ɹ)
matedmˈeɪtɪd
!
Forfˈɔː
whenwˈɛn
anˈɐn
obscureɒbskjˈɔː
comediankəmˈiːdiən
,
whomhˈuːm
theðə
lawlˈɔː
backsbˈæks
,
Totˈuː
sovereignsˈɒvəɹˌɪn
rankɹˈæŋk
isˈɪz
promptlypɹˈɒmptli
elevatedˈɛlɪvˌeɪtɪd
,
Heˈhiː
takestˈeɪks
itˈɪt
withwˈɪð
itsˈɪts
incidentalˌɪnsɪdˈɛntəl
drawbacksdɹˈɔːbæks
!
Sosˈəʊ
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
andˈænd
I
areə(ɹ)
dulydjˈuːli
matedmˈeɪtɪd
!
(
LISAˈliːsə
,
throughθɹˈuː
thisðˈɪs
,
hashˈæz
expressedɛkspɹˈɛst
intenseɪntˈɛns
distressdɪstɹˈɛs
atˈæt
havinghˈævɪŋ
totˈuː
surrendersəɹˈɛndɐ
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
)
LISA
Taketˈeɪk
carekˈeə
ofˈɒv
himhˈɪm
—
he's
muchmˈʌtʃ
tootˈuː
goodɡˈʊd
totˈuː
livelɪv
,
Withwˈɪð
himhˈɪm
youjˈuː
mustmˈʌst
bebˈiː
veryvˈɛɹi
gentledʒˈɛntəl
:
Poorpˈɔː
fellowfˈɛləʊ
,
he's
sosˈəʊ
highlyhˈaɪli
sensitivesˈɛnsɪtˌɪv
,
Andˈænd
O
,
sosˈəʊ
sentimentalsˌɛntɪmˈɛntəl
!
Bebˈiː
sureʃˈɔː
youjˈuː
nevernˈɛvɐ
letlˈɛt
himhˈɪm
sitsˈɪt
upˈʌp
latelˈeɪt
Inˈɪn
chillytʃˈɪli
openˈəʊpən
airˈeə
conversingkənvˈɜːsɪŋ
—
Poorpˈɔː
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
,
he's
extremelyɛkstɹˈiːmli
delicatedˈɛlɪkət
,
Andˈænd
wantswˈɒnts
a
dealdˈiːl
ofˈɒv
nursingnˈɜːsɪŋ
!
LUD
I
wantwˈɒnt
a
dealdˈiːl
ofˈɒv
nursingnˈɜːsɪŋ
!
LISA
Andˈænd
O
,
rememberɹɪmˈɛmbɐ
thisðˈɪs
—
Whenwˈɛn
heˈhiː
isˈɪz
crosskɹˈɒs
withwˈɪð
painpˈeɪn
,
A
flowerˈflaʊ.ə
andˈænd
a
kisskˈɪs
—
A
simplesˈɪmpəl
flowerˈflaʊ.ə
—
a
tendertˈɛndɐ
kisskˈɪs
Willwˈɪl
bringbɹˈɪŋ
himhˈɪm
roundɹˈaʊnd
againɐɡˈɛn
!
Hishˈɪz
moodsmˈuːdz
youjˈuː
mustmˈʌst
assiduouslyɐsˈɪdjuːəsli
watchwˈɒtʃ
:
Whenwˈɛn
heˈhiː
succumbssəkˈʌmz
totˈuː
sorrowsˈɒɹəʊ
tragictɹˈædʒɪk
,
Somesˈʌm
hardbake
orˈɔː
a
bitbˈɪt
ofˈɒv
butter-scotch
Willwˈɪl
workwˈɜːk
onˈɒn
himhˈɪm
likelˈaɪk
magicmˈædʒɪk
.
Totˈuː
contradictkˌɒntɹədˈɪkt
a
characterkˈæɹɪktɐ
sosˈəʊ
richɹˈɪtʃ
Inˈɪn
trustingtɹˈʌstɪŋ
lovelˈʌv
werewˈɜː
simplesˈɪmpəl
blindnessblˈaɪndnəs
—
He's
onewˈɒn
ofˈɒv
thoseðˈəʊz
exaltedɛɡzˈɒltɪd
naturesnˈeɪtʃəz
whichwˈɪtʃ
Willwˈɪl
onlyˈəʊnli
yieldjˈiːld
totˈuː
kindnesskˈaɪndnəs
!
LUD
I
onlyˈəʊnli
yieldjˈiːld
totˈuː
kindnesskˈaɪndnəs
!
LISA
Andˈænd
O
,
theðə
bygonebˈaɪɡɒn
blissblˈɪs
!
Andˈænd
O
,
theðə
presentˈpɹɛzənt
painpˈeɪn
!
Thatðˈæt
flowerˈflaʊ.ə
andˈænd
thatðˈæt
kisskˈɪs
—
Thatðˈæt
simplesˈɪmpəl
flowerˈflaʊ.ə
—
thatðˈæt
tendertˈɛndɐ
kisskˈɪs
I
ne'er
shallʃˈæl
giveɡˈɪv
againɐɡˈɛn
!
[Exit,
weeping.
JULIA
Andˈænd
nownˈaʊ
thatðˈæt
everybodyˈɛvɹɪbˌɒdi
hashˈæz
goneɡˈɒn
,
andˈænd
we're
happilyhˈæpɪli
andˈænd
comfortablykˈʌmftəbli
marriedmˈæɹɪd
,
I
wantwˈɒnt
totˈuː
havehəv
a
fewfjˈuː
wordswˈɜːdz
withwˈɪð
mymˈaɪ
new-born
husbandhˈʌsbənd
.
(aside).
LUD
Yesjˈɛs
,
I
expectɛkspˈɛkt
you'll
oftenˈɒfən
havehəv
a
fewfjˈuː
wordswˈɜːdz
withwˈɪð
yourjˈɔː
new-born
husbandhˈʌsbənd
!
(
Aloudɐlˈaʊd
)
Wellwˈɛl
,
whatwˈɒt
isˈɪz
itˈɪt
?
JULIA
Whywˈaɪ
,
I've
beenbˈiːn
thinkingθˈɪŋkɪŋ
thatðˈæt
asəz
youjˈuː
andˈænd
I
havehəv
totˈuː
playplˈeɪ
ourˈaʊə
partspˈɑːts
forfˈɔː
lifelˈaɪf
,
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
mostmˈəʊst
essentialɪsˈɛnʃəl
thatðˈæt
wewˈiː
shouldʃˈʊd
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
a
definitedˈɛfɪnət
understandingˌʌndəstˈændɪŋ
asəz
totˈuː
howhˈaʊ
theyðˈeɪ
shallʃˈæl
bebˈiː
renderedɹˈɛndəd
.
Nownˈaʊ
,
I've
beenbˈiːn
consideringkənsˈɪdəɹɪŋ
howhˈaʊ
I
cankˈæn
makemˈeɪk
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
ofˈɒv
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
.
LUD
Havehəv
youjˈuː
?
Wellwˈɛl
,
ifˈɪf
you'll
taketˈeɪk
mymˈaɪ
adviceɐdvˈaɪs
,
you'll
makemˈeɪk
a
veryvˈɛɹi
finefaɪn
partpˈɑːt
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
.
JULIA
Whywˈaɪ
,
that's
quitekwaɪt
mymˈaɪ
ideaaɪdˈiə
.
LUD
I
shouldn't
makemˈeɪk
itˈɪt
onewˈɒn
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
hoity-toityˈhɔɪtiˈtɔɪti
vixenish
viragoesvɪˈɹɑːɡəʊ
.
JULIA
Youjˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
notnˈɒt
?
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
I'm
quitekwaɪt
clearklˈiə
aboutɐbˈaʊt
thatðˈæt
.
I
shouldʃˈʊd
makemˈeɪk
herhˈɜː
a
tendertˈɛndɐ
,
gentledʒˈɛntəl
,
submissivesəbmˈɪsɪv
,
affectionateɐfˈɛkʃənət
(
butbˈʌt
notnˈɒt
tootˈuː
affectionateɐfˈɛkʃənət
)
child-wife
—
timidlytˈɪmɪdli
anxiousˈæŋʃəs
totˈuː
coilkˈɔɪl
herselfhɜːsˈɛlf
intoˈɪntʊ
herhˈɜː
husband's
hearthˈɑːt
,
butbˈʌt
keptkˈɛpt
inˈɪn
checktʃˈɛk
bybˈaɪ
anˈɐn
awestruckˈɔːstɹʌk
reverenceɹˈɛvɹəns
forfˈɔː
hishˈɪz
exaltedɛɡzˈɒltɪd
intellectualˌɪntəlˈɛktʃuːəl
qualitieskwˈɒlɪtiz
andˈænd
hishˈɪz
majesticmædʒˈɛstɪk
personalpˈɜːsənəl
appearanceɐpˈiəɹəns
.
JULIA
Ohˈəʊ
,
thatðˈæt
isˈɪz
yourjˈɔː
ideaaɪdˈiə
ofˈɒv
a
goodɡˈʊd
partpˈɑːt
?
LUD
Yesjˈɛs
—
a
wifewˈaɪf
whohˈuː
regardsɹɪɡˈɑːdz
herhˈɜː
husband's
slightestslˈaɪtəst
wishwˈɪʃ
asəz
anˈɐn
inflexibleɪnflˈɛksɪbəl
lawlˈɔː
,
andˈænd
whohˈuː
venturesvˈɛntʃəz
butbˈʌt
rarelyɹˈeəli
intoˈɪntʊ
hishˈɪz
augustɔːˈɡʌst
presencepɹˈɛzəns
,
unlessʌnlˈɛs
(
whichwˈɪtʃ
wouldwˈʊd
happenhˈæpən
seldomsˈɛldəm
)
heˈhiː
shouldʃˈʊd
summonsˈʌmən
herhˈɜː
totˈuː
appearɐpˈiə
beforebɪfˈɔː
himhˈɪm
.
A
crushedkɹˈʌʃt
,
despairingdɪspˈeəɹɪŋ
violetvˈaɪələt
,
whosehˈuːz
blightedblˈaɪtɪd
existenceɛɡzˈɪstəns
wouldwˈʊd
culminatekˈʌlmɪnˌeɪt
(
allˈɔːl
tootˈuː
soonsˈuːn
)
inˈɪn
a
lonelylˈəʊnli
andˈænd
patheticpɐθˈɛtɪk
death-scene
!
A
finefaɪn
partpˈɑːt
,
mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
.
JULIA
Yesjˈɛs
.
There's
a
goodɡˈʊd
dealdˈiːl
totˈuː
bebˈiː
saidsˈɛd
forfˈɔː
yourjˈɔː
viewvjˈuː
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
.
Nownˈaʊ
thereðˈeə
areə(ɹ)
somesˈʌm
actressesˈæktɹəsɪz
whomhˈuːm
itˈɪt
wouldwˈʊd
fitfˈɪt
likelˈaɪk
a
gloveɡlˈʌv
.
(aside).
LUD
I
wishwˈɪʃ
I'd
marriedmˈæɹɪd
onewˈɒn
ofˈɒv
'em
!
JULIA
Butbˈʌt
,
youjˈuː
seesˈiː
,
I
mustmˈʌst
considerkənsˈɪdɐ
mymˈaɪ
temperamenttˈɛmpɹəmənt
.
Forfˈɔː
instanceˈɪnstəns
,
mymˈaɪ
temperamenttˈɛmpɹəmənt
wouldwˈʊd
demanddɪmˈɑːnd
somesˈʌm
strongstɹˈɒŋ
scenessˈiːnz
ofˈɒv
justifiabledʒˈʌstɪfˌaɪəbəl
jealousydʒˈɛləsi
.
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
there's
nonəʊ
difficultydˈɪfɪkˌʌlti
aboutɐbˈaʊt
thatðˈæt
.
Youjˈuː
shallʃˈæl
havehəv
themðˈɛm
.
JULIA
Withwˈɪð
a
lovelylˈʌvli
butbˈʌt
detesteddɪtˈɛstɪd
rivalɹˈaɪvəl
—
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
I'll
providepɹəvˈaɪd
theðə
rivalɹˈaɪvəl
.
JULIA
Whomhˈuːm
I
shouldʃˈʊd
stabstˈæb
—
stabstˈæb
—
stabstˈæb
!
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
I
wouldn't
stabstˈæb
herhˈɜː
.
It's
beenbˈiːn
donedˈʌn
totˈuː
deathdˈɛθ
.
I
shouldʃˈʊd
treattɹˈiːt
herhˈɜː
withwˈɪð
a
silentsˈaɪlənt
andˈænd
contemptuouskəntˈɛmptʃuːəs
disdaindɪsdˈeɪn
,
andˈænd
delicatelydˈɛlɪkətli
withdrawwɪðdɹˈɔː
fromfɹˈɒm
a
positionpəzˈɪʃən
whichwˈɪtʃ
,
totˈuː
onewˈɒn
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
sensitivesˈɛnsɪtˌɪv
naturenˈeɪtʃɐ
,
wouldwˈʊd
bebˈiː
absolutelyˌæbsəlˈuːtli
untenableʌntˈɛnəbəl
.
Deardˈiə
memˈiː
,
I
cankˈæn
seesˈiː
youjˈuː
delicatelydˈɛlɪkətli
withdrawingwɪðdɹˈɔːɹɪŋ
,
upˈʌp
centresˈɛntɐ
andˈænd
offˈɒf
!
JULIA
Cankˈæn
youjˈuː
?
LUD
Yesjˈɛs
.
It's
a
finefaɪn
situationsˌɪtʃuːˈeɪʃən
—
andˈænd
inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
handshˈændz
,
fullfˈʊl
ofˈɒv
quietkwˈaɪət
pathospˈeɪθɒs
!
DUETdjuːˈɛt
—
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
andˈænd
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
.
Nownˈaʊ
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
,
comekˈʌm
,
Considerkənsˈɪdɐ
itˈɪt
fromfɹˈɒm
This dainty point of view—
LUD
A
timidtˈɪmɪd
tendertˈɛndɐ
Femininefˈɛmənˌɪn
genderdʒˈɛndɐ
,
Promptpɹˈɒmpt
totˈuː
coylykˈɔɪli
cookˈuː
—
Yetjˈɛt
silencesˈaɪləns
seekingsˈiːkɪŋ
,
Seldomsˈɛldəm
speakingspˈiːkɪŋ
Tilltˈɪl
she's
spokenspˈəʊkən
totˈuː
—
A
comfykˈʌmfi
,
cosykˈəʊzi
,
Rosy-posy
Innocentˈɪnəsənt
ingenoo
!
Theðə
partpˈɑːt
you're
suitedsˈuːtɪd
totˈuː
—
To give the deuce her due
LUD
A
sweetswˈiːt
(
O
,
jiminyˈd͡ʒɪməni
!)
Miminy-piminy
,
Innocentˈɪnəsənt
ingenoo
!
JULIA
Theðə
partpˈɑːt
you're
suitedsˈuːtɪd
totˈuː
—
I'm
muchmˈʌtʃ
obligedəblˈaɪdʒd
totˈuː
youjˈuː
,
(To give the deuce her due) I don't think that would do—
JULIA
A
sweetswˈiːt
(
O
,
jiminyˈd͡ʒɪməni
!)
Totˈuː
playplˈeɪ
(
O
,
jiminyˈd͡ʒɪməni
!)
Miminy-piminy
,
Miminy-piminy
,
Innocentˈɪnəsənt
ingenoo
!
Innocentˈɪnəsənt
ingenoo
!
Youjˈuː
forgetfəɡˈɛt
mymˈaɪ
specialspˈɛʃəl
magicmˈædʒɪk
In a high dramatic sense
JULIA
Lieslˈaɪz
inˈɪn
situationssˌɪtʃuːˈeɪʃənz
tragictɹˈædʒɪk
—
Undeniablyˌʌndɪnˈaɪəbli
intenseɪntˈɛns
.
Asəz
I've
justifieddʒˈʌstɪfˌaɪd
promotionpɹəmˈəʊʃən
Inˈɪn
theðə
histrionichˌɪstɹɪˈɒnɪk
artˈɑːt
,
I'll
submitsəbmˈɪt
totˈuː
youjˈuː
mymˈaɪ
notionnˈəʊʃən
Ofˈɒv
a
first-rate
partpˈɑːt
.
LUD
Wellwˈɛl
,
letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
seesˈiː
yourjˈɔː
notionnˈəʊʃən
Ofˈɒv
a
first-rate
partpˈɑːt
.
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
dramaticallydɹəmˈætɪkli
).
I
havehəv
a
rivalɹˈaɪvəl
!
Frenzy-thrilled
,
I
findfˈaɪnd
youjˈuː
bothbˈəʊθ
togethertəɡˈɛðɐ
!
Mymˈaɪ
hearthˈɑːt
standsstˈændz
stillstˈɪl
—
withwˈɪð
horrorhˈɒɹɐ
chilledtʃˈɪld
—-
Hardhˈɑːd
asəz
theðə
millstonemˈɪlstəʊn
nethernˈɛðɐ
!
Thenðˈɛn
softlysˈɒftli
,
slylyslˈaɪli
,
snaily
,
snakysnˈeɪki
—
Crawlykɹˈɔːli
,
creepykɹˈiːpi
,
quaily
,
quaky
—
I
tracktɹˈæk
herhˈɜː
onˈɒn
herhˈɜː
homewardhˈəʊmwəd
waywˈeɪ
,
Asəz
pantherpˈɑːnθɐ
trackstɹˈæks
herhˈɜː
fatedfˈeɪtɪd
preypɹˈeɪ
!
(
Furiouslyfjˈɔːɹɪəsli
)
I
flyflˈaɪ
atˈæt
herhˈɜː
softsˈɒft
whitewˈaɪt
throatθɹˈəʊt
—
Theðə
lily-white
laughinglˈɑːfɪŋ
lemanlˈɛmən
!
Onˈɒn
herhˈɜː
agonizedˈæ.ɡən.aɪzd
gazeɡˈeɪz
I
gloatɡlˈəʊt
Withwˈɪð
theðə
gleeɡlˈiː
ofˈɒv
a
dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
demondˈiːmən
!
Mymˈaɪ
rivalɹˈaɪvəl
sheʃˈiː
—
I
havehəv
nonəʊ
doubtdˈaʊt
ofˈɒv
herhˈɜː
—-
Sosˈəʊ
I
holdhˈəʊld
onˈɒn
—
tilltˈɪl
theðə
breathbɹˈɛθ
isˈɪz
outˈaʊt
ofˈɒv
herhˈɜː
!
—
tilltˈɪl
theðə
breathbɹˈɛθ
isˈɪz
outˈaʊt
ofˈɒv
herhˈɜː
!
Andˈænd
thenðˈɛn
—
Remorseɹɪmˈɔːs
!
Remorseɹɪmˈɔːs
!
O
coldkˈəʊld
unpleasantʌnplˈɛzənt
corsekˈɔːs
,
Avauntˈævɔːnt
!
Avauntˈævɔːnt
!
Thatðˈæt
lifelesslˈaɪfləs
formfˈɔːm
I
gazeɡˈeɪz
uponəpˈɒn
—
Thatðˈæt
facefˈeɪs
,
stillstˈɪl
warmwˈɔːm
Butbˈʌt
weirdlywˈiədli
wanwˈæn
—
Thoseðˈəʊz
eyesˈaɪz
ofˈɒv
glassɡlˈɑːs
I
contemplatekˈɒntɪmplˌeɪt
—
Andˈænd
thenðˈɛn
,
alasɐlˈæs
!
Tootˈuː
latelˈeɪt
—
tootˈuː
latelˈeɪt
!
I
findfˈaɪnd
sheʃˈiː
isˈɪz
—
yourjˈɔː
Auntˈɑːnt
!
(
Shudderingʃˈʌdəɹɪŋ
)
Remorseɹɪmˈɔːs
!
Remorseɹɪmˈɔːs
!
Thenðˈɛn
,
madmˈæd
—
madmˈæd
—
madmˈæd
!
Withwˈɪð
fanciesfˈænsɪz
wildwˈaɪld
—
chimericalkɪˈmɛɹɪkəl
—
Nownˈaʊ
sorrowfulsˈɒɹəʊfəl
—
silentsˈaɪlənt
—
sadsˈæd
—
Nownˈaʊ
hullaballoohˈʌlɐbˌæluː
hystericalhɪstˈɛɹɪkəl
!
Hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
Butbˈʌt
whetherwˈɛðɐ
I'm
sadsˈæd
orˈɔː
whetherwˈɛðɐ
I'm
gladɡlˈæd
,
Madmˈæd
!
madmˈæd
!
madmˈæd
!
madmˈæd
!
Thisðˈɪs
callskˈɔːlz
forfˈɔː
theðə
resourcesɹɪzˈɔːsɪz
ofˈɒv
a
high-class
artˈɑːt
,
Andˈænd
satisfiessˈætɪsfˌaɪz
mymˈaɪ
notionnˈəʊʃən
ofˈɒv
a
first-rate
partpˈɑːt
!
[Exit JULIA
Enter all the Chorus, hurriedly, and in great excitement.
CHORUS
Yourjˈɔː
Highnesshˈaɪnəs
,
there's
a
partypˈɑːti
atˈæt
theðə
doordˈɔː
—
Yourjˈɔː
Highnesshˈaɪnəs
,
atˈæt
theðə
doordˈɔː
thereðˈeə
isˈɪz
a
partypˈɑːti
—
Sheʃˈiː
sayssˈɛz
thatðˈæt
wewˈiː
expectɛkspˈɛkt
herhˈɜː
,
Butbˈʌt
wewˈiː
dodə
notnˈɒt
recollectɹɛkəˈlɛkt
herhˈɜː
,
Forfˈɔː
wewˈiː
nevernˈɛvɐ
sawsˈɔː
herhˈɜː
countenancekˈaʊntənəns
beforebɪfˈɔː
!
Withwˈɪð
rageɹˈeɪdʒ
andˈænd
indignationɪndɪɡnˈeɪʃən
sheʃˈiː
isˈɪz
rifeɹˈaɪf
,
Becausebɪkˈʌz
ourˈaʊə
welcomewˈɛlkʌm
wasn't
veryvˈɛɹi
heartyhˈɑːti
—
She's
asəz
sulkysˈʌlki
asəz
a
supersˈuːpɐ
,
Andˈænd
she's
swearingswˈeəɹɪŋ
likelˈaɪk
a
troopertɹˈuːpɐ
,
O
,
youjˈuː
nevernˈɛvɐ
heardhˈɜːd
suchsˈʌtʃ
languagelˈæŋɡwɪdʒ
inˈɪn
yourjˈɔː
lifelˈaɪf
!
Enter BARONESS VON KRAKENFELDT, in a fury.
BARONESS
Withwˈɪð
furyfjˈɔːɹi
indescribableˌɪndɪskɹˈaɪbəbəl
I
burnbˈɜːn
!
Withwˈɪð
rageɹˈeɪdʒ
I'm
nearlynˈiəli
readyɹˈɛdi
totˈuː
explodeɛksplˈəʊd
!
There'll
bebˈiː
griefɡɹˈiːf
andˈænd
tribulationtɹˌɪbjʊlˈeɪʃən
whenwˈɛn
I
learnlˈɜːn
Totˈuː
whomhˈuːm
thisðˈɪs
slightslˈaɪt
unbearableʌnbˈeəɹəbəl
isˈɪz
owedˈəʊd
!
Forfˈɔː
whateverwɒtˈɛvɐ
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
duedjˈuː
I'll
paypˈeɪ
itˈɪt
doubledˈʌbəl
—
There'll
bebˈiː
terrortˈɛɹɐ
indescribableˌɪndɪskɹˈaɪbəbəl
andˈænd
troubletɹˈʌbəl
!
Withwˈɪð
a
hurly-burly
andˈænd
a
hubble-bubble
I'll
paypˈeɪ
youjˈuː
forfˈɔː
thisðˈɪs
prettypɹˈɪti
episodeˈɛpɪsˌəʊd
!
ALL
Ohˈəʊ
,
whateverwɒtˈɛvɐ
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
duedjˈuː
she'll
paypˈeɪ
itˈɪt
doubledˈʌbəl
!—
It's very good of her to take the trouble—
ALL
Butbˈʌt
wewˈiː
don't
knownˈəʊ
whatwˈɒt
sheʃˈiː
meansmˈiːnz
bybˈaɪ
"
hubble-bubble
"—
Nonəʊ
doubtdˈaʊt
it's
anˈɐn
expressionɛkspɹˈɛʃən
lalˈæ
modemˈəʊd
.
BARONESS
(
totˈuː
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
).
Dodə
youjˈuː
knownˈəʊ
whohˈuː
I
aməm
?
LUD
(
examiningɛɡzˈæmɪnɪŋ
herhˈɜː
).
I
don't
;
Yourjˈɔː
countenancekˈaʊntənəns
I
can't
fixfˈɪks
,
mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
.
BARONESS
Thisðˈɪs
provespɹˈuːvz
I'm
notnˈɒt
a
shamʃˈæm
.
Showing pocket-handkerchief
LUD
(
examiningɛɡzˈæmɪnɪŋ
itˈɪt
).
Itˈɪt
won't
;
Itˈɪt
onlyˈəʊnli
sayssˈɛz
"
Krakenfeldt
,
Sixsˈɪks
,"
mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
.
BARONESS
Expressɛkspɹˈɛs
yourjˈɔː
griefɡɹˈiːf
profoundpɹəfˈaʊnd
!
LUD
I
shan't
!
Thisðˈɪs
tonetˈəʊn
I
nevernˈɛvɐ
allowɐlˈaʊ
,
mymˈaɪ
lovelˈʌv
.
BARONESS
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
atˈæt
oncewˈɒns
producepɹəˈd͡ʒuːs
!
LUD
I
can't
;
Heˈhiː
isn't
atˈæt
homehˈəʊm
justdʒˈʌst
nownˈaʊ
,
mymˈaɪ
lovelˈʌv
.
BARONESS
(
astonishedɐstˈɒnɪʃt
).
Heˈhiː
isn't
atˈæt
homehˈəʊm
justdʒˈʌst
nownˈaʊ
!
ALL
Heˈhiː
isn't
atˈæt
homehˈəʊm
justdʒˈʌst
nownˈaʊ
,
(
Dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
derisivelydɪɹˈaɪsɪvli
)
Heˈhiː
hashˈæz
anˈɐn
appointmentɐpˈɔɪntmənt
particularpətˈɪkjʊlɐ
,
very-
You'll
findfˈaɪnd
himhˈɪm
,
I
thinkθˈɪŋk
,
inˈɪn
theðə
towntˈaʊn
cemeterysˈɛmɪtəɹi
;
Andˈænd
that's
howhˈaʊ
wewˈiː
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
bebˈiː
makingmˈeɪkɪŋ
sosˈəʊ
merrymˈɛɹi
,
Forfˈɔː
heˈhiː
isn't
atˈæt
homehˈəʊm
justdʒˈʌst
nownˈaʊ
!
BARONESS
Butbˈʌt
blessblˈɛs
mymˈaɪ
hearthˈɑːt
andˈænd
soulsˈəʊl
aliveɐlˈaɪv
,
it's
impudenceɪmpjˈuːdəns
personifiedpɜːsˈɒnɪfˌaɪd
!
I've
comekˈʌm
herehˈiə
totˈuː
bebˈiː
matrimonially
matrimonified
!
LUD
Forfˈɔː
anyˈɛni
disappointmentdˌɪsɐpˈɔɪntmənt
I
aməm
sorrysˈɒɹi
unaffectedly
,
Butbˈʌt
yesterdayjˈɛstədˌeɪ
thatðˈæt
noblemannˈəʊbəlmən
expiredɛkspˈaɪəd
quitekwaɪt
unexpectedlyˌʌnɛkspˈɛktɪdli
—
ALLˈɔːl
(
sobbingsˈɒbɪŋ
).
Tol
theðə
riddleɹˈɪdəl
lolɛl.əʊˈɛl
!
Tol
theðə
riddleɹˈɪdəl
,
lolɛl.əʊˈɛl
theðə
riddleɹˈɪdəl
,
lolɛl.əʊˈɛl
lolɛl.əʊˈɛl
laylˈeɪ
!
(Then laughing wildly) Tol the riddle, lol the riddle, lol
LUD
lolɛl.əʊˈɛl
laylˈeɪ
!
BARONESS
Butbˈʌt
thisðˈɪs
isˈɪz
mostmˈəʊst
unexpectedˌʌnɛkspˈɛktɪd
.
Heˈhiː
waswˈɒz
wellwˈɛl
enoughɪnˈʌf
atˈæt
a
quarterkwˈɔːtɐ
totˈuː
twelvetwˈɛlv
yesterdayjˈɛstədˌeɪ
.
LUD
Yesjˈɛs
.
Heˈhiː
dieddˈaɪd
atˈæt
half-past
elevenɪlˈɛvən
.
BARONESS
Blessblˈɛs
memˈiː
,
howhˈaʊ
veryvˈɛɹi
suddensˈʌdən
!
LUD
Itˈɪt
waswˈɒz
suddensˈʌdən
.
BARONESS
Butbˈʌt
whatwˈɒt
inˈɪn
theðə
worldwˈɜːld
aməm
I
totˈuː
dodə
?
I
waswˈɒz
totˈuː
havehəv
beenbˈiːn
marriedmˈæɹɪd
totˈuː
himhˈɪm
to-daytəˈdeɪ
!
ALLˈɔːl
(
singingsˈɪŋɪŋ
andˈænd
dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
).
Forfˈɔː
anyˈɛni
disappointmentdˌɪsɐpˈɔɪntmənt
wewˈiː
areə(ɹ)
sorrysˈɒɹi
unaffectedly
,
Butbˈʌt
yesterdayjˈɛstədˌeɪ
thatðˈæt
noblemannˈəʊbəlmən
expiredɛkspˈaɪəd
quitekwaɪt
unexpectedlyˌʌnɛkspˈɛktɪdli
—
Tol
theðə
riddleɹˈɪdəl
lolɛl.əʊˈɛl
!
Isˈɪz
thisðˈɪs
Courtkˈɔːt
Mourningmˈɔːnɪŋ
orˈɔː
a
Fancyfˈænsi
Ballbˈɔːl
?
LUD
Wellwˈɛl
,
it's
a
delicatedˈɛlɪkət
combinationkˌɒmbɪnˈeɪʃən
ofˈɒv
bothbˈəʊθ
effectsɪfˈɛkts
.
Itˈɪt
isˈɪz
intendedɪntˈɛndɪd
totˈuː
expressɛkspɹˈɛs
inconsolableɪnkˈɒnsəʊləbəl
griefɡɹˈiːf
forfˈɔː
theðə
deceasedɪsˈiːs
ofˈɒv
theðə
latelˈeɪt
Dukedjˈuːk
andˈænd
ebullientɪbˈʊliənt
joydʒˈɔɪ
atˈæt
theðə
accessionɐksˈɛʃən
ofˈɒv
hishˈɪz
successorsəksˈɛsɐ
.
I
aməm
hishˈɪz
successorsəksˈɛsɐ
.
Permitpɚˈmɪt
memˈiː
totˈuː
presentˈpɹɛzənt
youjˈuː
totˈuː
mymˈaɪ
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
.
Indicating JULIA
BARONESS
Yourjˈɔː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
?
Ohˈəʊ
,
yourjˈɔː
Highnesshˈaɪnəs
!
(
Curtseyingkˈɜːtsɪɪŋ
profoundlypɹəfˈaʊndli
)
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
sneeringsnˈiəɹɪŋ
atˈæt
herhˈɜː
).
Oldˈəʊld
frumpfɹˈʌmp
!
Humphhˈʌmf
!
A
recentɹˈiːsənt
creationkɹiːˈeɪʃən
,
probablypɹˈɒbəbli
?
LUD
Wewˈiː
werewˈɜː
marriedmˈæɹɪd
onlyˈəʊnli
halfhˈɑːf
anˈɐn
hourˈaʊə
agoɐɡˈəʊ
.
BARONESS
Exactlyɛɡzˈæktli
.
I
thoughtθˈɔːt
sheʃˈiː
seemedsˈiːmd
newnjˈuː
totˈuː
theðə
positionpəzˈɪʃən
.
JULIA
Ma'am
,
I
don't
knownˈəʊ
whohˈuː
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
,
butbˈʌt
I
flatterflˈætɐ
myselfmaɪsˈɛlf
I
cankˈæn
dodə
justicedʒˈʌstɪs
totˈuː
anyˈɛni
partpˈɑːt
onˈɒn
theðə
veryvˈɛɹi
shortestʃˈɔːtəst
noticenˈəʊtɪs
.
BARONESS
Mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
,
underˈʌndɐ
theðə
circumstancessˈɜːkəmstˌænsɪz
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
doingdˈuːɪŋ
admirablyˈædməɹəblˌi
—
andˈænd
you'll
improveɪmpɹˈuːv
withwˈɪð
practicepɹˈæktɪs
.
It's
sosˈəʊ
difficultdˈɪfɪkəlt
totˈuː
bebˈiː
a
ladylˈeɪdi
whenwˈɛn
onewˈɒn
isn't
bornbˈɔːn
totˈuː
itˈɪt
.
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
inˈɪn
a
rageɹˈeɪdʒ
,
totˈuː
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
).
Aməm
I
totˈuː
standstˈænd
thisðˈɪs
?
Aməm
I
notnˈɒt
totˈuː
bebˈiː
allowedɐlˈaʊd
totˈuː
pullpˈʊl
herhˈɜː
totˈuː
piecespˈiːsɪz
?
(aside to JULIA).
LUD
Nonəʊ
,
nonəʊ
—
itˈɪt
isn't
Greekɡɹiːk
.
Bebˈiː
a
violetvˈaɪələt
,
I
begbˈɛɡ
.
BARONESS
Andˈænd
nownˈaʊ
telltˈɛl
memˈiː
allˈɔːl
aboutɐbˈaʊt
thisðˈɪs
distressingdɪstɹˈɛsɪŋ
circumstancesˈɜːkəmstˌæns
.
Howhˈaʊ
diddˈɪd
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
diedˈaɪ
?
LUD
Heˈhiː
perishedpˈɛɹɪʃt
noblynˈəʊbli
—
inˈɪn
a
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
.
BARONESS
Inˈɪn
a
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
?
Butbˈʌt
that's
onlyˈəʊnli
a
civilsˈɪvəl
deathdˈɛθ
!—
andˈænd
theðə
Actˈækt
expiresɛkspˈaɪəz
to-nighttəˈnaɪt
,
andˈænd
thenðˈɛn
heˈhiː
willwˈɪl
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
againɐɡˈɛn
!
LUD
Wellwˈɛl
,
nonəʊ
.
Anxiousˈæŋʃəs
totˈuː
inaugurateɪnˈɔːɡjʊɹˌeɪt
mymˈaɪ
reignɹˈeɪn
bybˈaɪ
conferringkənfˈɜːɹɪŋ
somesˈʌm
inestimableɪnˈɛstɪməbəl
boonbˈuːn
onˈɒn
mymˈaɪ
peoplepˈiːpəl
,
I
signalizedˈsɪɡnəlaɪz
thisðˈɪs
occasionəkˈeɪʒən
bybˈaɪ
revivingɹɪvˈaɪvɪŋ
theðə
lawlˈɔː
forfˈɔː
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
hundredhˈʌndɹəd
yearsjˈiəz
.
BARONESS
Forfˈɔː
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
hundredhˈʌndɹəd
yearsjˈiəz
?
Thenðˈɛn
setsˈɛt
theðə
merrymˈɛɹi
joybells
ringingɹˈɪŋɪŋ
!
Letlˈɛt
festivefˈɛstɪv
epithalamiaɛpɪθəˈleɪmɪəm
resoundɹɪˈzaʊnd
throughθɹˈuː
theseðˈiːz
ancientˈeɪnʃənt
hallshˈɔːlz
!
Cutkˈʌt
theðə
satisfyingsˈætɪsfˌaɪɪŋ
sandwichsˈændwɪtʃ
—
broachbɹˈəʊtʃ
theðə
exhilaratingɛɡzˈɪlɐɹˌeɪtɪŋ
Marsala
—
andˈænd
letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
rejoiceɹɪdʒˈɔɪs
to-daytəˈdeɪ
,
ifˈɪf
wewˈiː
nevernˈɛvɐ
rejoiceɹɪdʒˈɔɪs
againɐɡˈɛn
!
LUD
Butbˈʌt
I
don't
thinkθˈɪŋk
I
quitekwaɪt
understandˌʌndəstˈænd
.
Wewˈiː
havehəv
alreadyɔːlɹˈɛdi
rejoicedɹɪdʒˈɔɪst
a
goodɡˈʊd
dealdˈiːl
.
BARONESS
Happyhˈæpi
manmˈæn
,
youjˈuː
littlelˈɪtəl
reckɹˈɛk
ofˈɒv
theðə
extentɛkstˈɛnt
ofˈɒv
theðə
goodɡˈʊd
thingsθˈɪŋz
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
inˈɪn
forfˈɔː
.
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
killedkˈɪld
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
youjˈuː
adoptedɐdˈɒptɪd
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
overwhelmingˌəʊvəwˈɛlmɪŋ
responsibilitiesɹɪspˌɒnsəbˈɪlɪtiz
.
Knownˈəʊ
thenðˈɛn
thatðˈæt
I
,
Carolineˈkæɹ.əˌlaɪn
von
Krakenfeldt
,
aməm
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
overwhelmingˌəʊvəwˈɛlmɪŋ
ofˈɒv
themðˈɛm
allˈɔːl
!
LUD
Butbˈʌt
stopstˈɒp
,
stopstˈɒp
—
I've
justdʒˈʌst
beenbˈiːn
marriedmˈæɹɪd
totˈuː
somebodysˈʌmbɒdi
elseˈɛls
!
JULIA
Yesjˈɛs
,
ma'am
,
totˈuː
somebodysˈʌmbɒdi
elseˈɛls
,
ma'am
!
Dodə
youjˈuː
understandˌʌndəstˈænd
,
ma'am
?
Totˈuː
somebodysˈʌmbɒdi
elseˈɛls
!
BARONESS
Dodə
keepkˈiːp
thisðˈɪs
youngjˈʌŋ
womanwˈʊmən
quietkwˈaɪət
;
sheʃˈiː
fidgetsfˈɪdʒɪts
memˈiː
!
JULIA
Fidgetsfˈɪdʒɪts
youjˈuː
!
(aside to JULIA).
LUD
Bebˈiː
a
violetvˈaɪələt
—
a
crushedkɹˈʌʃt
,
despairingdɪspˈeəɹɪŋ
violetvˈaɪələt
.
JULIA
Dodə
youjˈuː
supposesʌpˈəʊz
I
intendɪntˈɛnd
totˈuː
giveɡˈɪv
upˈʌp
a
magnificentmæɡnˈɪfɪsənt
part without a struggle?
LUD
Mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
girlɡˈɜːl
,
sheʃˈiː
hashˈæz
theðə
lawlˈɔː
onˈɒn
herhˈɜː
sidesˈaɪd
.
Letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
bothbˈəʊθ
bearbˈeə
thisðˈɪs
calamitykɐlˈæmɪti
withwˈɪð
resignationɹɪzɪɡnˈeɪʃən
.
Ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
mustmˈʌst
strugglestɹˈʌɡəl
,
goɡˈəʊ
awayɐwˈeɪ
andˈænd
strugglestɹˈʌɡəl
inˈɪn
theðə
seclusionsɪklˈuːʒən
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
chambertʃˈeɪmbɐ
.
SONGsˈɒŋ
—
BARONESSbˈæɹəʊnəs
andˈænd
CHORUSkˈɔːɹəs
.
Nownˈaʊ
awayɐwˈeɪ
totˈuː
theðə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
wewˈiː
goɡˈəʊ
,
Sosˈəʊ
summonsˈʌmən
theðə
charioteerstʃˌæɹiətˈiəz
—
Nonəʊ
kindkˈaɪnd
ofˈɒv
reluctanceɹɪlˈʌktəns
theyðˈeɪ
showʃˈəʊ
Totˈuː
embarkɛmbˈɑːk
onˈɒn
theirðˈeə
marriedmˈæɹɪd
careerskəɹˈiəz
.
Thoughðˈəʊ
Julia's
emotionɪmˈəʊʃən
maymˈeɪ
flowflˈəʊ
Forfˈɔː
theðə
restɹˈɛst
ofˈɒv
herhˈɜː
maidenly
yearsjˈiəz
,
ALL
Totˈuː
theðə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
wewˈiː
eagerlyˈiːɡəli
goɡˈəʊ
,
Sosˈəʊ
summonsˈʌmən
theðə
charioteerstʃˌæɹiətˈiəz
!
Nownˈaʊ
awayɐwˈeɪ
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
All dance off to wedding except JULIA
JULIA
Sosˈəʊ
endsˈɛndz
mymˈaɪ
dreamdɹˈiːm
—
sosˈəʊ
fadesfˈeɪdz
mymˈaɪ
visionvˈɪʒən
fairfˈeə
!
Ofˈɒv
hopehˈəʊp
nonəʊ
gleamɡlˈiːm
—
distractiondɪstɹˈækʃən
andˈænd
despairdɪspˈeə
!
Mymˈaɪ
cherishedtʃˈɛɹɪʃt
dreamdɹˈiːm
,
theðə
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
throneθɹˈəʊn
totˈuː
shareʃˈeə
Thatðˈæt
aimˈeɪm
supremesuːpɹˈiːm
hashˈæz
vanishedvˈænɪʃt
intoˈɪntʊ
airˈeə
!
Brokenbɹˈəʊkən
everyˈɛvɹi
promisepɹˈɒmɪs
plightedplaɪt
—
Allˈɔːl
isˈɪz
darksomedˈɑːksʌm
—
allˈɔːl
isˈɪz
drearydɹˈiəɹi
.
Everyˈɛvɹi
new-born
hopehˈəʊp
isˈɪz
blightedblˈaɪtɪd
!
Sadsˈæd
andˈænd
sorrysˈɒɹi
—
weakwˈiːk
andˈænd
wearywˈiəɹi
Deathdˈɛθ
theðə
Friendfɹˈɛnd
orˈɔː
Deathdˈɛθ
theðə
Foefˈəʊ
,
Shallʃˈæl
I
callkˈɔːl
uponəpˈɒn
theeðˈiː
?
Nonəʊ
!
I
willwˈɪl
goɡˈəʊ
onˈɒn
livinglˈɪvɪŋ
,
thoughðˈəʊ
Sadsˈæd
andˈænd
sorrysˈɒɹi
—
weakwˈiːk
andˈænd
wearywˈiəɹi
!
Nonəʊ
,
nonəʊ
!
Letlˈɛt
theðə
bygonebˈaɪɡɒn
goɡˈəʊ
bybˈaɪ
!
Nonəʊ
goodɡˈʊd
everˈɛvɐ
camekˈeɪm
ofˈɒv
repiningɹɪˈpaɪn
:
Ifˈɪf
to-daytəˈdeɪ
thereðˈeə
areə(ɹ)
cloudsklˈaʊdz
o'er
theðə
skyskˈaɪ
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
theðə
sunsˈʌn
maymˈeɪ
bebˈiː
shiningʃˈaɪnɪŋ
!
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
bebˈiː
kindkˈaɪnd
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
totˈuː
memˈiː
!
Withwˈɪð
loyaltylˈɔɪəlti
blindblˈaɪnd
I
curtseykˈɜːtsi
totˈuː
theeðˈiː
!
To-daytəˈdeɪ
isˈɪz
a
daydˈeɪ
ofˈɒv
illusionɪlˈuːʒən
andˈænd
sorrowsˈɒɹəʊ
,
Sosˈəʊ
vivaˈviː.və
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
!
Godɡˈɒd
savesˈeɪv
youjˈuː
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
!
Yourjˈɔː
servantsˈɜːvənt
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
!
Godɡˈɒd
savesˈeɪv
youjˈuː
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
,
To-morrowtəˈmɒɹəʊ
!
[Exit JULIA.
Enter ERNEST.
ERN
It's
ofˈɒv
nonəʊ
usejuːs
—
I
can't
waitwˈeɪt
anyˈɛni
longerlˈɒŋɡɐ
.
Atˈæt
anyˈɛni
riskɹˈɪsk
I
mustmˈʌst
gratifyɡɹˈætɪfˌaɪ
mymˈaɪ
urgentˈɜːdʒənt
desiredɪzˈaɪə
totˈuː
knownˈəʊ
whatwˈɒt
isˈɪz
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
onˈɒn
.
(
Lookinglˈʊkɪŋ
offˈɒf
)
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
thatðˈæt
?
Surelyʃˈɔːli
I
seesˈiː
a
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
processionpɹəsˈɛʃən
windingˈwɪndɪŋ
downdˈaʊn
theðə
hillhˈɪl
,
dresseddɹˈɛst
inˈɪn
mymˈaɪ
Troilus
andˈænd
Cressida
costumeskˈɒstjuːmz
!
That's
Ludwig's
doingdˈuːɪŋ
!
I
seesˈiː
howhˈaʊ
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
—
heˈhiː
foundfˈaʊnd
theðə
timetˈaɪm
hanghˈæŋ
heavyhˈɛvi
onˈɒn
hishˈɪz
handshˈændz
,
andˈænd
isˈɪz
amusingɐmjˈuːsɪŋ
himselfhɪmsˈɛlf
bybˈaɪ
gettingɡˈɛtɪŋ
marriedmˈæɹɪd
totˈuː
Lisaˈliːsə
.
Nonəʊ
—
itˈɪt
can't
bebˈiː
totˈuː
Lisaˈliːsə
,
forfˈɔː
herehˈiə
sheʃˈiː
isˈɪz
!
Enter LISA.
ERN
LISAˈliːsə
(
notnˈɒt
seeingsˈiːɪŋ
himhˈɪm
).
I
reallyɹˈiəli
cannotˈkænɒt
standstˈænd
seeingsˈiːɪŋ
mymˈaɪ
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
marriedmˈæɹɪd
twicetwˈaɪs
inˈɪn
onewˈɒn
daydˈeɪ
totˈuː
somebodysˈʌmbɒdi
elseˈɛls
!
Lisaˈliːsə
!
(
LISAˈliːsə
seessˈiːz
himhˈɪm
,
andˈænd
standsstˈændz
asəz
ifˈɪf
transfixedtɹænsfˈɪkst
withwˈɪð
horrorhˈɒɹɐ
).
Comekˈʌm
herehˈiə
—
don't
bebˈiː
a
littlelˈɪtəl
foolfˈuːl
—
I
wantwˈɒnt
youjˈuː
.
LISA suddenly turns and bolts off
ERN
Whywˈaɪ
,
what's
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
withwˈɪð
theðə
littlelˈɪtəl
donkeydˈɒŋki
?
Onewˈɒn
wouldwˈʊd
thinkθˈɪŋk
sheʃˈiː
sawsˈɔː
a
ghostɡˈəʊst
!
Butbˈʌt
ifˈɪf
he's
notnˈɒt
marryingmˈæɹɪɪŋ
Lisaˈliːsə
,
whomhˈuːm
isˈɪz
heˈhiː
marryingmˈæɹɪɪŋ
?
(
Suddenlysˈʌdənli
)
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
!
(
Muchmˈʌtʃ
overcomeˌəʊvəkˈʌm
)
I
seesˈiː
itˈɪt
allˈɔːl
!
Theðə
scoundrelskˈaʊndɹəl
!
Heˈhiː
hadhˈæd
totˈuː
adoptɐdˈɒpt
allˈɔːl
mymˈaɪ
responsibilitiesɹɪspˌɒnsəbˈɪlɪtiz
,
andˈænd
he's
shabbilyʃˈæbɪli
takentˈeɪkən
advantageɐdvˈɑːntɪdʒ
ofˈɒv
theðə
situationsˌɪtʃuːˈeɪʃən
totˈuː
marrymˈæɹi
theðə
girlɡˈɜːl
I'm
engagedɛnɡˈeɪdʒd
totˈuː
!
Butbˈʌt
nonəʊ
,
itˈɪt
can't
bebˈiː
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
,
forfˈɔː
herehˈiə
sheʃˈiː
isˈɪz
!
Enter JULIA.
ERN
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
notnˈɒt
seeingsˈiːɪŋ
himhˈɪm
).
I've
mademˈeɪd
upˈʌp
mymˈaɪ
mindmˈaɪnd
.
I
won't
standstˈænd
itˈɪt
!
I'll
sendsˈɛnd
inˈɪn
mymˈaɪ
noticenˈəʊtɪs
atˈæt
oncewˈɒns
!
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
whatwˈɒt
a
reliefɹɪlˈiːf
!
JULIA gazes at him as if transfixed
ERN
Thenðˈɛn
you've
notnˈɒt
marriedmˈæɹɪd
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
?
Youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
stillstˈɪl
truetɹˈuː
totˈuː
memˈiː
?
(JULIA turns and bolts in grotesque horror.
ERN
ERNESTˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
followsfˈɒləʊz
andˈænd
stopsstˈɒps
herhˈɜː
)
Don't
runɹˈʌn
awayɐwˈeɪ
!
Listenlˈɪsən
totˈuː
memˈiː
.
Areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
allˈɔːl
crazykɹˈeɪzi
?
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
inˈɪn
affectedɐfˈɛktɪd
terrortˈɛɹɐ
).
Whatwˈɒt
wouldwˈʊd
youjˈuː
withwˈɪð
memˈiː
,
spectrespˈɛktɐ
?
Ohˈəʊ
,
ain't
hishˈɪz
eyesˈaɪz
sepulchralsˈɛpʌlkɹəl
!
Andˈænd
ain't
hishˈɪz
voicevˈɔɪs
hollowhˈɒləʊ
!
Whatwˈɒt
areə(ɹ)
youjˈuː
doingdˈuːɪŋ
outˈaʊt
ofˈɒv
yourjˈɔː
tombtˈuːm
atˈæt
thisðˈɪs
timetˈaɪm
ofˈɒv
daydˈeɪ
—
apparitionˌæpəɹˈɪʃən
?
I
dodə
wishwˈɪʃ
I
couldkˈʊd
makemˈeɪk
youjˈuː
girlsɡˈɜːlz
understandˌʌndəstˈænd
thatðˈæt
I'm
onlyˈəʊnli
technicallytˈɛknɪkli
deaddˈɛd
,
andˈænd
thatðˈæt
physicallyfˈɪzɪkli
I'm
asəz
muchmˈʌtʃ
aliveɐlˈaɪv
asəz
everˈɛvɐ
I
waswˈɒz
inˈɪn
mymˈaɪ
lifelˈaɪf
!
JULIA
Ohˈəʊ
,
butbˈʌt
it's
anˈɐn
awfulˈɔːfəl
thingθˈɪŋ
totˈuː
bebˈiː
hauntedhˈɔːntɪd
bybˈaɪ
a
technicaltˈɛknɪkəl
bogybˈəʊɡi
!
ERN
Youjˈuː
won't
bebˈiː
hauntedhˈɔːntɪd
muchmˈʌtʃ
longerlˈɒŋɡɐ
.
Theðə
lawlˈɔː
mustmˈʌst
bebˈiː
onˈɒn
itsˈɪts
lastlˈɑːst
legslˈɛɡz
,
andˈænd
inˈɪn
a
fewfjˈuː
hoursˈaʊəz
I
shallʃˈæl
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
againɐɡˈɛn
—
resumeɹɪˈzjuːm
allˈɔːl
mymˈaɪ
socialsˈəʊʃəl
andˈænd
civilsˈɪvəl
functionsfˈʌŋkʃənz
,
andˈænd
claimklˈeɪm
mymˈaɪ
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
asəz
mymˈaɪ
blushingblˈʌʃɪŋ
bridebɹˈaɪd
!
JULIA
Ohˈəʊ
—
thenðˈɛn
youjˈuː
haven't
heardhˈɜːd
?
ERN
Mymˈaɪ
lovelˈʌv
,
I've
heardhˈɜːd
nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
.
Howhˈaʊ
couldkˈʊd
I
?
Thereðˈeə
areə(ɹ)
nonəʊ
dailydˈeɪli
paperspˈeɪpəz
wherewˈeə
I
comekˈʌm
fromfɹˈɒm
.
JULIA
Whywˈaɪ
,
Ludwigˈludvɪɡ
challengedtʃˈælɪndʒd
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
andˈænd
wonwʌn
,
andˈænd
nownˈaʊ
he's
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
,
andˈænd
he's
revivedɹɪvˈaɪvd
theðə
lawlˈɔː
forfˈɔː
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
centurysˈɛntʃəɹi
!
ERN
Whatwˈɒt
!
Butbˈʌt
you're
notnˈɒt
serioussˈiəɹɪəs
—
you're
onlyˈəʊnli
jokingdʒˈəʊkɪŋ
!
JULIA
Mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
sirsˈɜː
,
I'm
a
light-hearted
girlɡˈɜːl
,
butbˈʌt
I
don't
chafftʃˈæf
bogiesbˈəʊɡɪz
.
ERN
Wellwˈɛl
,
that's
theðə
meanestmˈiːnəst
dodgedˈɒdʒ
I
everˈɛvɐ
heardhˈɜːd
ofˈɒv
!
JULIA
Shabbyʃˈæbi
tricktɹˈɪk
,
I
callkˈɔːl
itˈɪt
.
ERN
Butbˈʌt
youjˈuː
don't
meanmˈiːn
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
thatðˈæt
you're
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
totˈuː
crykɹˈaɪ
offˈɒf
!
JULIA
I
reallyɹˈiəli
can't
affordɐfˈɔːd
totˈuː
waitwˈeɪt
untilʌntˈɪl
yourjˈɔː
timetˈaɪm
isˈɪz
upˈʌp
.
Youjˈuː
knownˈəʊ
,
I've
alwaysˈɔːlweɪz
setsˈɛt
mymˈaɪ
facefˈeɪs
againstɐɡˈɛnst
longlˈɒŋ
engagementsɛnɡˈeɪdʒmənts
.
ERN
Thenðˈɛn
defydɪfˈaɪ
theðə
lawlˈɔː
andˈænd
marrymˈæɹi
memˈiː
nownˈaʊ
.
Wewˈiː
willwˈɪl
flyflˈaɪ
totˈuː
yourjˈɔː
nativenˈeɪtɪv
countrykˈʌntɹi
,
andˈænd
I'll
playplˈeɪ
broken-English
inˈɪn
Londonˈlʌn.dən
asəz
youjˈuː
playplˈeɪ
broken-German
herehˈiə
!
JULIA
Nonəʊ
.
Theseðˈiːz
legallˈiːɡəl
technicalitiestˈɛknɪkˈælɪtiz
cannotˈkænɒt
bebˈiː
defieddɪfˈaɪd
.
Situatedsˈɪtʃuːˌeɪtɪd
asəz
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
,
youjˈuː
havehəv
nonəʊ
powerpˈaʊɐ
totˈuː
makemˈeɪk
memˈiː
yourjˈɔː
wifewˈaɪf
.
Atˈæt
bestbˈɛst
youjˈuː
couldkˈʊd
onlyˈəʊnli
makemˈeɪk
memˈiː
yourjˈɔː
widowwˈɪdəʊ
.
ERN
Thenðˈɛn
bebˈiː
mymˈaɪ
widowwˈɪdəʊ
—
mymˈaɪ
littlelˈɪtəl
,
daintydˈeɪnti
,
winningwˈɪnɪŋ
,
winsomewˈɪnsʌm
widowwˈɪdəʊ
!
JULIA
Nownˈaʊ
whatwˈɒt
wouldwˈʊd
bebˈiː
theðə
goodɡˈʊd
ofˈɒv
thatðˈæt
?
Whywˈaɪ
,
youjˈuː
gooseɡˈuːs
,
I
shouldʃˈʊd
marrymˈæɹi
againɐɡˈɛn
withinwɪðˈɪn
a
monthmˈʌnθ
!
DUETdjuːˈɛt
—
ERNESTˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
andˈænd
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
.
ERN
Ifˈɪf
theðə
lightlˈaɪt
ofˈɒv
love's
lingeringlˈɪŋɡəɹɪŋ
emberˈɛmbɐ
Hashˈæz
fadedfˈeɪdɪd
inˈɪn
gloomɡlˈuːm
,
Youjˈuː
cannotˈkænɒt
neglectnɪɡlˈɛkt
,
O
rememberɹɪmˈɛmbɐ
,
A
voicevˈɔɪs
fromfɹˈɒm
theðə
tombtˈuːm
!
Thatðˈæt
sternstˈɜːn
supernaturalsˌuːpənˈætʃəɹəl
dictiondˈɪkʃən
Shouldʃˈʊd
actˈækt
asəz
a
solemnsˈɒləm
restrictionɹɪstɹˈɪkʃən
,
Althoughɒlðˈəʊ
bybˈaɪ
a
meremˈiə
legallˈiːɡəl
fictionfˈɪkʃən
A
voicevˈɔɪs
fromfɹˈɒm
theðə
tombtˈuːm
!
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
(
inˈɪn
affectedɐfˈɛktɪd
terrortˈɛɹɐ
).
I
ownˈəʊn
thatðˈæt
thatðˈæt
utteranceˈʌtəɹəns
chillstʃˈɪlz
memˈiː
—
Itˈɪt
witherswˈɪðəz
mymˈaɪ
bloomblˈuːm
!
Withwˈɪð
awfulˈɔːfəl
emotionɪmˈəʊʃən
itˈɪt
thrillsθɹˈɪlz
memˈiː
—
Thatðˈæt
voicevˈɔɪs
fromfɹˈɒm
theðə
tombtˈuːm
!
Ohˈəʊ
,
spectrespˈɛktɐ
,
won't
anythingˈɛnɪθˌɪŋ
laylˈeɪ
theeðˈiː
?
Thoughðˈəʊ
painedpˈeɪnd
totˈuː
denydɪnˈaɪ
orˈɔː
gainsayɡˈeɪnseɪ
theeðˈiː
,
Inˈɪn
thisðˈɪs
casekˈeɪs
I
cannotˈkænɒt
obeyəʊbˈeɪ
theeðˈiː
,
Thouðaʊ
voicevˈɔɪs
fromfɹˈɒm
theðə
tombtˈuːm
!
(
Dancingdˈɑːnsɪŋ
)
Sosˈəʊ
,
spectrespˈɛktɐ
,
appallingɐpˈɔːlɪŋ
,
I
bidbˈɪd
youjˈuː
good-day
—
Perhapspəhˈæps
you'll
bebˈiː
callingkˈɔːlɪŋ
Whenwˈɛn
passingpˈɑːsɪŋ
thisðˈɪs
waywˈeɪ
.
Yourjˈɔː
bogydom
scorningskˈɔːnɪŋ
,
Andˈænd
allˈɔːl
yourjˈɔː
love-lorning
,
I
bidbˈɪd
youjˈuː
good-morningˌɡʊd ˈmɔːnɪŋ
,
I
bidbˈɪd
youjˈuː
good-day
.
(
furiousfjˈɔːɹɪəs
).
Mymˈaɪ
offerˈɒfɐ
recallingɹɪkˈɔːlɪŋ
,
Yourjˈɔː
wordswˈɜːdz
I
obeyəʊbˈeɪ
—
Yourjˈɔː
fatefˈeɪt
isˈɪz
appallingɐpˈɔːlɪŋ
,
Andˈænd
fullfˈʊl
ofˈɒv
dismaydɪsmˈeɪ
.
Totˈuː
paypˈeɪ
forfˈɔː
thisðˈɪs
scorningskˈɔːnɪŋ
I
giveɡˈɪv
youjˈuː
fairfˈeə
warningwˈɔːnɪŋ
I'll
haunthˈɔːnt
youjˈuː
eachˈiːtʃ
morningmˈɔːnɪŋ
,
Eachˈiːtʃ
nightnˈaɪt
,
andˈænd
eachˈiːtʃ
daydˈeɪ
!
Repeat Ensemble, and exeunt in opposite directions
Re-enter the Wedding Procession dancing.
CHORUS
Nownˈaʊ
bridegroombɹˈaɪdɡɹuːm
andˈænd
bridebɹˈaɪd
letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
toasttˈəʊst
Inˈɪn
a
magnummˈæɡnəm
ofˈɒv
merrymˈɛɹi
champagneʃæmpˈeɪn
—
Letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
makemˈeɪk
ofˈɒv
thisðˈɪs
momentmˈəʊmənt
theðə
mostmˈəʊst
,
Wewˈiː
maymˈeɪ
notnˈɒt
bebˈiː
sosˈəʊ
luckylˈʌki
againɐɡˈɛn
.
Sosˈəʊ
drinkdɹˈɪŋk
totˈuː
ourˈaʊə
sovereignsˈɒvəɹˌɪn
hosthˈəʊst
Andˈænd
hishˈɪz
highlyhˈaɪli
intelligentɪntˈɛlɪdʒənt
reignɹˈeɪn
—
Hishˈɪz
healthhˈɛlθ
andˈænd
hishˈɪz
bride's
letlˈɛt
usˈʌs
toasttˈəʊst
Inˈɪn
a
magnummˈæɡnəm
ofˈɒv
merrymˈɛɹi
champagneʃæmpˈeɪn
!
SONGsˈɒŋ
—
BARONESSbˈæɹəʊnəs
withwˈɪð
CHORUSkˈɔːɹəs
.
I
oncewˈɒns
gaveɡˈeɪv
anˈɐn
eveningˈiːvnɪŋ
partypˈɑːti
(
A
sandwichsˈændwɪtʃ
andˈænd
cut-orange
ballbˈɔːl
),
Butbˈʌt
mymˈaɪ
guestsɡˈɛsts
hadhˈæd
suchsˈʌtʃ
appetitesˈæpɪtˌaɪts
heartyhˈɑːti
Thatðˈæt
I
couldn't
enjoyɛndʒˈɔɪ
itˈɪt
,
enjoyɛndʒˈɔɪ
itˈɪt
atˈæt
allˈɔːl
.
I
mademˈeɪd
a
heroichɪɹˈəʊɪk
endeavourɛndˈɛvɐ
Totˈuː
looklˈʊk
unconcernedʌnkənsˈɜːnd
,
butbˈʌt
inˈɪn
vainvˈeɪn
,
Andˈænd
I
vow'd
thatðˈæt
I
nevernˈɛvɐ
—
ohˈəʊ
nevernˈɛvɐ
Wouldwˈʊd
askˈɑːsk
anybodyˈɛnɪbˌɒdi
againɐɡˈɛn
!
Butbˈʌt
there's
a
distinctiondɪstˈɪŋkʃən
decideddɪsˈaɪdɪd
—-
A
differencedˈɪfɹəns
trulytɹˈuːli
immenseɪmˈɛns
—
Whenwˈɛn
theðə
winewˈaɪn
thatðˈæt
youjˈuː
drinkdɹˈɪŋk
isˈɪz
providedpɹəvˈaɪdɪd
,
providedpɹəvˈaɪdɪd
,
Atˈæt
somebodysˈʌmbɒdi
else's
expenseɛkspˈɛns
.
Sosˈəʊ
bumpersbˈʌmpəz
—
ayeeɪ
,
everˈɛvɐ
sosˈəʊ
manymˈɛni
—
Theðə
costkˈɒst
wewˈiː
maymˈeɪ
safelysˈeɪfli
ignoreɪɡnˈɔː
!
Forfˈɔː
theðə
winewˈaɪn
doesn't
costkˈɒst
usˈʌs
a
pennypˈɛni
,
Tho'
it's
Pommry
seventy-four
!
Sosˈəʊ
bumpersbˈʌmpəz
—
ayeeɪ
,
everˈɛvɐ
sosˈəʊ
manymˈɛni
—
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
Comekˈʌm
,
bumpersbˈʌmpəz
—
ayeeɪ
,
everˈɛvɐ
sosˈəʊ
manymˈɛni
—
Andˈænd
thenðˈɛn
,
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
willwˈɪl
,
manymˈɛni
moremˈɔː
!
Thisðˈɪs
winewˈaɪn
doesn't
costkˈɒst
usˈʌs
a
pennypˈɛni
,
Tho'
it's
Pommry
,
Pommry
seventy-four
!
Oldˈəʊld
winewˈaɪn
isˈɪz
a
truetɹˈuː
panaceapˌænɐsˈiːɐ
Forfˈɔː
ev'ry
conceivablekənsˈiːvəbəl
illˈɪl
,
Whenwˈɛn
youjˈuː
cherishtʃˈɛɹɪʃ
theðə
soothingsˈuːðɪŋ
ideaaɪdˈiə
Thatðˈæt
somebodysˈʌmbɒdi
elseˈɛls
payspˈeɪz
theðə
billbˈɪl
!
Oldˈəʊld
winewˈaɪn
isˈɪz
a
pleasureplˈɛʒɐ
that's
hollowhˈɒləʊ
Whenwˈɛn
atˈæt
yourjˈɔː
ownˈəʊn
tabletˈeɪbəl
youjˈuː
sitsˈɪt
,
Forfˈɔː
you're
thinkingθˈɪŋkɪŋ
eachˈiːtʃ
mouthfulmˈaʊθfəl
youjˈuː
swallowswˈɒləʊ
Hashˈæz
costkˈɒst
youjˈuː
,
hashˈæz
costkˈɒst
youjˈuː
a
threepenny-bitˈθɹʌpəni bɪt
!
Sosˈəʊ
bumpersbˈʌmpəz
—
ayeeɪ
,
everˈɛvɐ
sosˈəʊ
manymˈɛni
—
Andˈænd
thenðˈɛn
,
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
willwˈɪl
,
manymˈɛni
moremˈɔː
!
Thisðˈɪs
winewˈaɪn
doesn't
costkˈɒst
usˈʌs
a
pennypˈɛni
,
Tho'
it's
Pommry
seventy-four
!
Sosˈəʊ
,
bumpersbˈʌmpəz
—
ayeeɪ
,
everˈɛvɐ
sosˈəʊ
manymˈɛni
—
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
March heard
LUD
(
recit
).
Whywˈaɪ
,
whohˈuː
isˈɪz
thisðˈɪs
approachingɐpɹˈəʊtʃɪŋ
,
Uponəpˈɒn
ourˈaʊə
joydʒˈɔɪ
encroachingɛnkɹˈəʊtʃɪŋ
?
Somesˈʌm
rascalɹˈɑːskəl
comekˈʌm
a-poaching
Who's
heardhˈɜːd
thatðˈæt
winewˈaɪn
we're
broachingbɹˈəʊtʃɪŋ
?
ALL
Whohˈuː
maymˈeɪ
thisðˈɪs
bebˈiː
?
Whohˈuː
isˈɪz
heˈhiː
?
Whohˈuː
isˈɪz
heˈhiː
?
Whohˈuː
isˈɪz
heˈhiː
?
Enter HERALD.
HERALD
Theðə
Princepɹˈɪns
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
,
Fromfɹˈɒm
Mediterraneanˌmɛdɪtəˈɹeɪnɪən
waterwˈɔːtɐ
,
Hashˈæz
comekˈʌm
herehˈiə
totˈuː
bestowbɪstˈəʊ
Onˈɒn
youjˈuː
hishˈɪz
beautifulbjˈuːtɪfəl
daughterdˈɔːtɐ
.
They've
paidpˈeɪd
offˈɒf
allˈɔːl
theyðˈeɪ
oweˈəʊ
,
Asəz
everyˈɛvɹi
statesmanstˈeɪtsmən
oughter
—
Thatðˈæt
Princepɹˈɪns
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
Andˈænd
hishˈɪz
be-eautiful
daughterdˈɔːtɐ
!
CHORUS
Theðə
Princepɹˈɪns
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
HERALD
Theðə
Princepɹˈɪns
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
,
Whohˈuː
isˈɪz
sosˈəʊ
veryvˈɛɹi
partickler
,
Hashˈæz
heardhˈɜːd
thatðˈæt
you're
alsoˈɒlsəʊ
Forfˈɔː
ceremonysˈɛɹɪməni
a
sticklerstˈɪklɐ
—
Thereforeðˈeəfɔː
heˈhiː
letslˈɛts
youjˈuː
knownˈəʊ
Bybˈaɪ
wordwˈɜːd
ofˈɒv
mouthmaʊθ
auric'lar
—
(
Thatðˈæt
Princepɹˈɪns
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
Whohˈuː
isˈɪz
sosˈəʊ
veryvˈɛɹi
particklar
)—
CHORUS
Theðə
Princepɹˈɪns
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
,
etcˌɛt ˈsɛt(ə)ɹə
.
HERALD
Thatðˈæt
Princepɹˈɪns
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
,
Fromfɹˈɒm
Mediterraneanˌmɛdɪtəˈɹeɪnɪən
waterwˈɔːtɐ
,
Hashˈæz
comekˈʌm
herehˈiə
totˈuː
bestowbɪstˈəʊ
Onˈɒn
youjˈuː
hishˈɪz
be-eautiful
daughterdˈɔːtɐ
!
LUD
(
recit
).
Hishˈɪz
Highnesshˈaɪnəs
wewˈiː
knownˈəʊ
notnˈɒt
—
nornˈɔː
theðə
localityləʊkˈælɪti
Inˈɪn
whichwˈɪtʃ
isˈɪz
situatesˈɪtʃuːˌeɪt
hishˈɪz
Principalitypɹˌɪnsɪpˈælɪti
;
Butbˈʌt
,
asəz
heˈhiː
guessesɡˈɛsɪz
bybˈaɪ
somesˈʌm
oddˈɒd
fatalityfeɪtˈælɪti
,
Thisðˈɪs
isˈɪz
theðə
shopʃˈɒp
forfˈɔː
cutkˈʌt
andˈænd
drieddɹˈaɪd
formalityfɔːmˈælɪti
!
Letlˈɛt
himhˈɪm
appearɐpˈiə
—
He'll
findfˈaɪnd
thatðˈæt
we're
Remarkableɹɪmˈɑːkəbəl
forfˈɔː
cutkˈʌt
andˈænd
drieddɹˈaɪd
formalityfɔːmˈælɪti
.
(
Repriseɹɪˈpɹiːz
ofˈɒv
Marchmˈɑːtʃ
.
Exit HERALD.
LUD
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
beckonsbˈɛkənz
hishˈɪz
Courtkˈɔːt
)
I
havehəv
a
planplˈæn
—
I'll
telltˈɛl
youjˈuː
allˈɔːl
theðə
plotplˈɒt
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
—
Heˈhiː
wantswˈɒnts
formalityfɔːmˈælɪti
—
heˈhiː
shallʃˈæl
havehəv
a
lotlˈɒt
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
!
Whispers to them, through symphony
Conceal yourselves, and when I give the cue,
LUD
Springspɹˈɪŋ
outˈaʊt
onˈɒn
himhˈɪm
—
youjˈuː
allˈɔːl
knownˈəʊ
whatwˈɒt
totˈuː
dodə
!
(
Allˈɔːl
concealkənsˈiːl
themselvesðɛmsˈɛlvz
behindbɪhˈaɪnd
theðə
draperiesdɹˈeɪpəɹɪz
thatðˈæt
encloseɛnklˈəʊz
theðə
stagestˈeɪdʒ
)
Pompouspˈɒmpəs
Marchmˈɑːtʃ
.
Enter the PRINCE and PRINCESS OF MONTE CARLO,
LUD
attendedɐtˈɛndɪd
bybˈaɪ
sixsˈɪks
theatrical-looking
noblesnˈəʊbəlz
andˈænd
theðə
Courtkˈɔːt
Costumier
.
DUETdjuːˈɛt
—
Princepɹˈɪns
andˈænd
PRINCESSpɹɪnˈsɛs
.
PRINCE
We're
riggedɹˈɪɡd
outˈaʊt
inˈɪn
magnificentmæɡnˈɪfɪsənt
arrayɐɹˈeɪ
Our own clothes are much gloomier
PRINCE
Inˈɪn
costumeskˈɒstjuːmz
whichwˈɪtʃ
we've
hiredhˈaɪəd
bybˈaɪ
theðə
daydˈeɪ
Fromfɹˈɒm
a
veryvˈɛɹi
well-knownˌwɛlˈnoʊn
costumier
.
COST
(
bowingˈbaʊɪŋ
).
I
aməm
theðə
well-knownˌwɛlˈnoʊn
costumier
.
PRINCESS
Withwˈɪð
a
brilliantbɹˈɪlɪənt
staffstˈɑːf
a
Princepɹˈɪns
shouldʃˈʊd
makemˈeɪk
a
showʃˈəʊ
(
It's
a
ruleɹˈuːl
thatðˈæt
nevernˈɛvɐ
variesvˈeəɹiz
),
Sosˈəʊ
we've
engagedɛnɡˈeɪdʒd
fromfɹˈɒm
theðə
Theatreθˈiətɐ
Monacoˈmɒ.nə.kəʊ
Sixsˈɪks
supernumerariesˌsuːpəˈnjuːm(ə)ɹ(ə)ɹi
.
NOBLES
We're
theðə
supernumerariesˌsuːpəˈnjuːm(ə)ɹ(ə)ɹi
.
ALL
Atˈæt
a
salarysˈæləɹi
immenseɪmˈɛns
,
Quitekwaɪt
regardlessɹɪɡˈɑːdləs
ofˈɒv
expenseɛkspˈɛns
,
Sixsˈɪks
supernumerariesˌsuːpəˈnjuːm(ə)ɹ(ə)ɹi
!
PRINCE
Theyðˈeɪ
dodə
notnˈɒt
speakspˈiːk
,
forfˈɔː
theyðˈeɪ
breakbɹˈeɪk
ourˈaʊə
grammar's
lawslˈɔːz
,
Andˈænd
theirðˈeə
languagelˈæŋɡwɪdʒ
isˈɪz
lamentablelɐmˈɛntəbəl
—
Andˈænd
theyðˈeɪ
nevernˈɛvɐ
taketˈeɪk
offˈɒf
theirðˈeə
glovesɡlˈʌvz
,
becausebɪkˈʌz
Theirðˈeə
nailsnˈeɪlz
areə(ɹ)
notnˈɒt
presentablepɹɪzˈɛntəbəl
.
NOBLES
Ourˈaʊə
nailsnˈeɪlz
areə(ɹ)
notnˈɒt
presentablepɹɪzˈɛntəbəl
!
PRINCESS
Totˈuː
accountɐkˈaʊnt
forfˈɔː
theirðˈeə
shortcomingsʃˈɔːtkʌmɪŋz
manifestmˈænɪfˌɛst
We explain, in a whisper bated,
PRINCESS
Theyðˈeɪ
areə(ɹ)
wealthywˈɛlθi
membersmˈɛmbəz
ofˈɒv
theðə
brewingbɹˈuːɪŋ
interestˈɪntɹəst
Totˈuː
theðə
Peeragepˈiəɹɪdʒ
elevatedˈɛlɪvˌeɪtɪd
.
NOBLES
Totˈuː
theðə
Peeragepˈiəɹɪdʒ
elevatedˈɛlɪvˌeɪtɪd
.
ALL
They're
/
We're
veryvˈɛɹi
,
veryvˈɛɹi
richɹˈɪtʃ
,
Andˈænd
accordinglyɐkˈɔːdɪŋli
,
asəz
sichsiːt͡ʃ
,
Totˈuː
theðə
Peeragepˈiəɹɪdʒ
elevatedˈɛlɪvˌeɪtɪd
.
PRINCE
Wellwˈɛl
,
mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
,
herehˈiə
wewˈiː
areə(ɹ)
atˈæt
lastlˈɑːst
—
justdʒˈʌst
inˈɪn
timetˈaɪm
totˈuː
compelkəmpˈɛl
Dukedjˈuːk
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
totˈuː
fulfilfʊlfˈɪl
theðə
termstˈɜːmz
ofˈɒv
hishˈɪz
marriagemˈæɹɪdʒ
contractˈkɒntɹækt
.
Anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
hourˈaʊə
andˈænd
wewˈiː
shouldʃˈʊd
havehəv
beenbˈiːn
tootˈuː
latelˈeɪt
.
PRINCESS
Yesjˈɛs
,
papapɐpˈɑː
,
andˈænd
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
hadn't
fortunatelyfˈɔːtʃənətli
discovereddɪskˈʌvəd
a
meansmˈiːnz
ofˈɒv
makingmˈeɪkɪŋ
anˈɐn
incomeˈɪnkʌm
bybˈaɪ
honestˈɒnɪst
industryˈɪndʌstɹˌi
,
wewˈiː
shouldʃˈʊd
nevernˈɛvɐ
havehəv
gotɡˈɒt
herehˈiə
atˈæt
allˈɔːl
.
PRINCE
Veryvˈɛɹi
truetɹˈuː
.
Confinedkənfˈaɪnd
forfˈɔː
theðə
lastlˈɑːst
twotˈuː
yearsjˈiəz
withinwɪðˈɪn
theðə
precinctspɹˈiːsɪŋkts
ofˈɒv
mymˈaɪ
palacepˈælɪs
bybˈaɪ
anˈɐn
obdurateˈɒbdjɔːɹət
bootmaker
whohˈuː
heldhˈɛld
a
warrantwˈɒɹənt
forfˈɔː
mymˈaɪ
arrestɐɹˈɛst
,
I
devoteddɪvˈəʊtɪd
mymˈaɪ
enforcedɛnfˈɔːst
leisurelˈɛʒɐ
totˈuː
a
studystˈʌdi
ofˈɒv
theðə
doctrinedˈɒktɹɪn
ofˈɒv
chancestʃˈɑːnsɪz
—
mainlymˈeɪnli
withwˈɪð
theðə
viewvjˈuː
ofˈɒv
ascertainingˌæsətˈeɪnɪŋ
whetherwˈɛðɐ
thereðˈeə
waswˈɒz
theðə
remotestɹɪmˈəʊtəst
chancetʃˈɑːns
ofˈɒv
mymˈaɪ
everˈɛvɐ
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
outˈaʊt
forfˈɔː
a
walkwˈɔːk
againɐɡˈɛn
—
andˈænd
thisðˈɪs
ledlˈɛd
totˈuː
theðə
discoverydɪskˈʌvəɹi
ofˈɒv
a
singularlysˈɪŋɡjʊləli
fascinatingfˈæsɪnˌeɪtɪŋ
littlelˈɪtəl
roundɹˈaʊnd
gameɡˈeɪm
whichwˈɪtʃ
I
havehəv
calledkˈɔːld
Rouletteɹuːlˈɛt
,
andˈænd
bybˈaɪ
whichwˈɪtʃ
,
inˈɪn
onewˈɒn
sittingsˈɪtɪŋ
,
I
wonwʌn
nonəʊ
lesslˈɛs
thanðˈɐn
fivefˈaɪv
thousandθˈaʊzənd
francsfɹˈɑːnks
!
Mymˈaɪ
firstfˈɜːst
actˈækt
waswˈɒz
totˈuː
paypˈeɪ
mymˈaɪ
bootmaker
—
mymˈaɪ
secondˈsɛk.ənd
,
totˈuː
engageɛnɡˈeɪdʒ
a
goodɡˈʊd
usefuljˈuːsfəl
workingwˈɜːkɪŋ
setsˈɛt
ofˈɒv
second-handˌsɛkənd ˈhænd
noblesnˈəʊbəlz
—
andˈænd
mymˈaɪ
thirdθˈɜːd
,
totˈuː
hurryhˈʌɹi
youjˈuː
offˈɒf
totˈuː
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Halbpfennig
asəz
fastfˈɑːst
asəz
a
traintɹˈeɪn
dedˈɐ
luxelˈʌks
couldkˈʊd
carrykˈæɹi
usˈʌs
!
PRINCESS
Yesjˈɛs
,
andˈænd
a
prettypɹˈɪti
job-lot
ofˈɒv
second-handˌsɛkənd ˈhænd
noblesnˈəʊbəlz
you've
scrapedskɹˈeɪpt
togethertəɡˈɛðɐ
!
PRINCEpɹˈɪns
(
doubtfullydˈaʊtfəli
).
Prettypɹˈɪti
,
youjˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
?
Humphhˈʌmf
!
I
don't
knownˈəʊ
.
I
shouldʃˈʊd
saysˈeɪ
tol-lol
,
mymˈaɪ
lovelˈʌv
—
onlyˈəʊnli
tol-lol
.
Theyðˈeɪ
areə(ɹ)
notnˈɒt
whollyhˈəʊli
satisfactorysˌætɪsfˈæktəɹˌi
.
Thereðˈeə
isˈɪz
a
certainsˈɜːtən
airˈeə
ofˈɒv
unrealityʌnɹɪˈælɪti
aboutɐbˈaʊt
themðˈɛm
—
theyðˈeɪ
areə(ɹ)
notnˈɒt
convincingkənvˈɪnsɪŋ
.
COST
Butbˈʌt
,
mymˈaɪ
goot
friendfɹˈɛnd
,
vhat
cankˈæn
youjˈuː
expectɛkspˈɛkt
forfˈɔː
eighteenpence
a
daydˈeɪ
!
PRINCE
Nownˈaʊ
taketˈeɪk
thisðˈɪs
Peerpɪə̯
,
forfˈɔː
instanceˈɪnstəns
.
Whatwˈɒt
theðə
deucedjˈuːs
dodə
youjˈuː
callkˈɔːl
himhˈɪm
?
COST
Himhˈɪm
?
Ohˈəʊ
,
he's
a
swellswˈɛl
—
he's
theðə
Dukedjˈuːk
ofˈɒv
Rivieraɹˌɪviˈɛɹɐ
.
PRINCE
Ohˈəʊ
,
he's
a
Dukedjˈuːk
,
isˈɪz
heˈhiː
?
Wellwˈɛl
,
that's
nonəʊ
reasonɹˈiːzən
whywˈaɪ
heˈhiː
shouldʃˈʊd
looklˈʊk
sosˈəʊ
confoundedly
haughtyhˈɔːti
.
(
Totˈuː
Noblenˈəʊbəl
)
Bebˈiː
affableˈæfəbəl
,
sirsˈɜː
!
(
Noblenˈəʊbəl
takestˈeɪks
attitudeˈætɪtjˌuːd
ofˈɒv
affabilityˌæfəbˈɪlɪti
)
That's
betterbˈɛtɐ
.
(
Passingpˈɑːsɪŋ
totˈuː
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
)
Nownˈaʊ
,
who's
thisðˈɪs
withwˈɪð
hishˈɪz
moustacheməstˈɑːʃ
comingkˈʌmɪŋ
offˈɒf
?
COST
Vhy
;
you're
Viscountvˈaɪkaʊnt
Mentone
,
ain't
youjˈuː
?
NOBLES
Blestblˈɛst
ifˈɪf
I
knownˈəʊ
.
(Turning up sword-belt) It's
NOBLES
wroteɹˈəʊt
herehˈiə
—
yesjˈɛs
,
Viscountvˈaɪkaʊnt
Mentone
.
COST
Thenðˈɛn
vhy
don't
youjˈuː
saysˈeɪ
sosˈəʊ
?
'Old
yerselfjəˈsɛlf
upˈʌp
—
youjˈuː
ain't
carryin'
sandwichsˈændwɪtʃ
boardsbˈɔːdz
nownˈaʊ
.
Adjusts his moustache
PRINCE
Nownˈaʊ
,
oncewˈɒns
forfˈɔː
allˈɔːl
,
youjˈuː
Peerspɪɹz
—
whenwˈɛn
Hishˈɪz
Highnesshˈaɪnəs
arrivesɐɹˈaɪvz
,
don't
standstˈænd
likelˈaɪk
sticksstˈɪks
,
butbˈʌt
appearɐpˈiə
totˈuː
taketˈeɪk
anˈɐn
intelligentɪntˈɛlɪdʒənt
andˈænd
sympatheticsˌɪmpəθˈɛtɪk
interestˈɪntɹəst
inˈɪn
whatwˈɒt
isˈɪz
goingɡˈəʊɪŋ
onˈɒn
.
Youjˈuː
needn't
saysˈeɪ
anythingˈɛnɪθˌɪŋ
,
butbˈʌt
letlˈɛt
yourjˈɔː
gesturesdʒˈɛstʃəz
bebˈiː
inˈɪn
accordanceɐkˈɔːdəns
withwˈɪð
theðə
spiritspˈɪɹɪt
ofˈɒv
theðə
conversationkɒnvəsˈeɪʃən
.
Now take the word from me.
PRINCE
Affabilityˌæfəbˈɪlɪti
!
(
attitudeˈætɪtjˌuːd
).
Submissionsəbmˈɪʃən
!
(
attitudeˈætɪtjˌuːd
).
Surprisesəpɹˈaɪz
!
(
attitudeˈætɪtjˌuːd
).
Shameʃˈeɪm
!
(
attitudeˈætɪtjˌuːd
).
Griefɡɹˈiːf
!
(
attitudeˈætɪtjˌuːd
).
Joydʒˈɔɪ
!
(
attitudeˈætɪtjˌuːd
).
That's
betterbˈɛtɐ
!
Youjˈuː
cankˈæn
dodə
itˈɪt
ifˈɪf
youjˈuː
likelˈaɪk
!
PRINCESS
Butbˈʌt
,
papapɐpˈɑː
,
wherewˈeə
inˈɪn
theðə
worldwˈɜːld
isˈɪz
theðə
Courtkˈɔːt
?
Thereðˈeə
isˈɪz
positivelypˈɒzɪtˌɪvli
nonəʊ
onewˈɒn
herehˈiə
totˈuː
receiveɹɪsˈiːv
usˈʌs
!
I
can't
helphˈɛlp
feelingfˈiːlɪŋ
thatðˈæt
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
wantswˈɒnts
totˈuː
getɡˈɛt
outˈaʊt
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
becausebɪkˈʌz
I'm
poorpˈɔː
.
He's
a
miserlymˈaɪzəli
littlelˈɪtəl
wretchɹˈɛtʃ
—
that's
whatwˈɒt
heˈhiː
isˈɪz
.
PRINCE
Wellwˈɛl
,
I
shouldn't
goɡˈəʊ
sosˈəʊ
farfˈɑː
asəz
totˈuː
saysˈeɪ
thatðˈæt
.
I
shouldʃˈʊd
ratherɹˈɑːðɐ
describedɪskɹˈaɪb
himhˈɪm
asəz
anˈɐn
enthusiasticɛnθjˌuːzɪˈæstɪk
collectorkəlˈɛktɐ
ofˈɒv
coinskˈɔɪnz
—
ofˈɒv
theðə
realmɹˈɛlm
—
andˈænd
wewˈiː
mustmˈʌst
notnˈɒt
bebˈiː
tootˈuː
hardhˈɑːd
uponəpˈɒn
a
numismatistnjˈuːmɪsmˌætɪst
ifˈɪf
heˈhiː
feelsfˈiːlz
a
certainsˈɜːtən
disinclinationˌdɪsɪŋklɪˈneɪʃən
totˈuː
partpˈɑːt
withwˈɪð
somesˈʌm
ofˈɒv
hishˈɪz
reallyɹˈiəli
veryvˈɛɹi
valuablevˈæljuːəbəl
specimensspˈɛsɪmənz
.
It's
a
prettypɹˈɪti
hobbyhˈɒbi
:
I've
oftenˈɒfən
thoughtθˈɔːt
I
shouldʃˈʊd
likelˈaɪk
totˈuː
collectkəˈlɛkt
somesˈʌm
coinskˈɔɪnz
myselfmaɪsˈɛlf
.
PRINCESS
Papapɐpˈɑː
,
I'm
sureʃˈɔː
there's
somesˈʌm
onewˈɒn
behindbɪhˈaɪnd
thatðˈæt
curtainkˈɜːtən
.
I
sawsˈɔː
itˈɪt
movemˈuːv
!
PRINCE
Thenðˈɛn
nonəʊ
doubtdˈaʊt
theyðˈeɪ
areə(ɹ)
comingkˈʌmɪŋ
.
Nownˈaʊ
mindmˈaɪnd
,
youjˈuː
Peerspɪɹz
—
haughtyhˈɔːti
affabilityˌæfəbˈɪlɪti
combinedkəmbˈaɪnd
withwˈɪð
a
sensesˈɛns
ofˈɒv
whatwˈɒt
isˈɪz
duedjˈuː
totˈuː
yourjˈɔː
exaltedɛɡzˈɒltɪd
ranksɹˈæŋks
,
orˈɔː
I'll
finefaɪn
youjˈuː
halfhˈɑːf
a
francfɹˈɑːnk
eachˈiːtʃ
—
uponəpˈɒn
mymˈaɪ
soulsˈəʊl
I
willwˈɪl
!
(
Gongɡˈɒŋ
.
Theðə
curtainskˈɜːtənz
flyflˈaɪ
backbˈæk
andˈænd
theðə
Courtkˈɔːt
areə(ɹ)
discovereddɪskˈʌvəd
.
Theyðˈeɪ
give a wild yell and rush on to the stage dancing wildly,
PRINCE
withwˈɪð
PRINCEpɹˈɪns
,
PRINCESSpɹɪnˈsɛs
,
andˈænd
Noblesnˈəʊbəlz
,
whohˈuː
areə(ɹ)
takentˈeɪkən
bybˈaɪ
surprisesəpɹˈaɪz
atˈæt
firstfˈɜːst
,
butbˈʌt
eventuallyɪvˈɛntʃuːəli
joindʒˈɔɪn
inˈɪn
a
recklessɹˈɛkləs
dancedˈɑːns
.
Atˈæt
theðə
end all fall down exhausted)
LUD
Thereðˈeə
,
whatwˈɒt
dodə
youjˈuː
thinkθˈɪŋk
ofˈɒv
thatðˈæt
?
That's
ourˈaʊə
officialəfˈɪʃəl
ceremonialsˌɛɹɪmˈəʊnɪəl
forfˈɔː
theðə
receptionɹɪsˈɛpʃən
ofˈɒv
visitorsvˈɪzɪtəz
ofˈɒv
theðə
veryvˈɛɹi
highesthˈaɪəst
distinctiondɪstˈɪŋkʃən
.
PRINCEpɹˈɪns
(
puzzledpˈʌzəld
).
It's
veryvˈɛɹi
quaintkwˈeɪnt
—
veryvˈɛɹi
curiouskjˈʊɹɪəs
indeedˌɪndˈiːd
.
Prettilypɹˈɪtili
footedfˈʊtɪd
,
tootˈuː
.
Prettilypɹˈɪtili
footedfˈʊtɪd
.
Wouldwˈʊd
youjˈuː
likelˈaɪk
totˈuː
seesˈiː
howhˈaʊ
wewˈiː
saysˈeɪ
"
good-byeɡʊdˈbaɪ
"
totˈuː
visitorsvˈɪzɪtəz
ofˈɒv
distinctiondɪstˈɪŋkʃən
?
Thatðˈæt
ceremonysˈɛɹɪməni
isˈɪz
alsoˈɒlsəʊ
performedpəfˈɔːmd
withwˈɪð
theðə
footfˈʊt
.
PRINCE
Reallyɹˈiəli
,
thisðˈɪs
tonetˈəʊn
—
ahˈɑː
,
butbˈʌt
perhapspəhˈæps
youjˈuː
havehəv
notnˈɒt
completelykəmplˈiːtli
graspedɡɹˈɑːspt
theðə
situationsˌɪtʃuːˈeɪʃən
?
LUD
Notnˈɒt
altogetherˌɔːltəɡˈɛðɐ
.
PRINCE
Ahˈɑː
,
thenðˈɛn
I'll
giveɡˈɪv
youjˈuː
a
leadlɛd
overˈəʊvɐ
.
(
Significantlysɪɡnˈɪfɪkəntli
:
)
I
aməm
theðə
fatherfˈɑːðɐ
ofˈɒv
theðə
Princesspɹɪnˈsɛs
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
.
Doesn't
thatðˈæt
conveykənvˈeɪ
anyˈɛni
ideaaɪdˈiə
totˈuː
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Ducaldjˈuːkəl
mindmˈaɪnd
?
LUD
(
stolidly
).
Nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
definitedˈɛfɪnət
.
PRINCE (aside).
LUD
H'm
—
veryvˈɛɹi
oddˈɒd
!
Nevernˈɛvɐ
mindmˈaɪnd
—
trytɹˈaɪ
againɐɡˈɛn
!
(
Aloudɐlˈaʊd
)
Thisðˈɪs
isˈɪz
theðə
daughterdˈɔːtɐ
ofˈɒv
theðə
Princepɹˈɪns
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
.
Dodə
youjˈuː
taketˈeɪk
?
(
stillstˈɪl
puzzledpˈʌzəld
).
Nonəʊ
—
notnˈɒt
yetjˈɛt
.
Goɡˈəʊ
onˈɒn
—
don't
giveɡˈɪv
itˈɪt
upˈʌp
—
I
daredˈeə
saysˈeɪ
itˈɪt
willwˈɪl
comekˈʌm
presentlypɹˈɛzəntlˌi
.
PRINCE
Veryvˈɛɹi
oddˈɒd
—
nevernˈɛvɐ
mindmˈaɪnd
—
trytɹˈaɪ
againɐɡˈɛn
.
(
Withwˈɪð
slyslˈaɪ
significancesɪɡnˈɪfɪkəns
)
Twentytwˈɛnti
yearsjˈiəz
agoɐɡˈəʊ
!
Littlelˈɪtəl
doddledˈɒdəl
doddledˈɒdəl
!
Twotˈuː
littlelˈɪtəl
doddledˈɒdəl
doddlesˈdɒdl̩
!
Happyhˈæpi
fatherfˈɑːðɐ
—
hershˈɜːz
andˈænd
yoursjˈɔːz
.
Proudpɹˈaʊd
motherˈmʌðə
—
yoursjˈɔːz
andˈænd
hershˈɜːz
!
Hahhˈɑː
!
Nownˈaʊ
youjˈuː
taketˈeɪk
?
I
seesˈiː
youjˈuː
dodə
!
I
seesˈiː
youjˈuː
dodə
!
LUD
Nothingnˈʌθɪŋ
isˈɪz
moremˈɔː
annoyingɐnˈɔɪɪŋ
thanðˈɐn
totˈuː
feelfˈiːl
thatðˈæt
you're
notnˈɒt
equalˈiːkwəl
totˈuː
theðə
intellectualˌɪntəlˈɛktʃuːəl
pressurepɹˈɛʃɐ
ofˈɒv
theðə
conversationkɒnvəsˈeɪʃən
.
I
wishwˈɪʃ
he'd
saysˈeɪ
somethingsˈʌmθɪŋ
intelligibleɪntˈɛlɪdʒəbəl
.
PRINCE
Youjˈuː
didn't
expectɛkspˈɛkt
memˈiː
?
LUD
(
jumpingdʒˈʌmpɪŋ
atˈæt
itˈɪt
).
Nonəʊ
,
nonəʊ
.
I
graspɡɹˈɑːsp
thatðˈæt
—
thankθˈæŋk
youjˈuː
veryvˈɛɹi
muchmˈʌtʃ
.
(
Shakingʃˈeɪkɪŋ
handshˈændz
withwˈɪð
himhˈɪm
)
Nonəʊ
,
I
diddˈɪd
notnˈɒt
expectɛkspˈɛkt
youjˈuː
!
PRINCE
I
thoughtθˈɔːt
notnˈɒt
.
Butbˈʌt
hahˈɑː
!
hahˈɑː
!
atˈæt
lastlˈɑːst
I
havehəv
escapedɛskˈeɪpt
fromfɹˈɒm
mymˈaɪ
enforcedɛnfˈɔːst
restraintɹɪstɹˈeɪnt
.
(
Generaldʒˈɛnəɹəl
movementmˈuːvmənt
ofˈɒv
alarmɐlˈɑːm
)
(
Totˈuː
crowdkɹˈaʊd
whohˈuː
areə(ɹ)
stealingstˈiːlɪŋ
offˈɒf
)
Nonəʊ
,
nonəʊ
—
youjˈuː
misunderstandmɪsˌʌndəstˈænd
memˈiː
.
I
meanmˈiːn
I've
paidpˈeɪd
mymˈaɪ
debtsdˈɛts
!
ALL
Ohˈəʊ
!
(
Theyðˈeɪ
returnɹɪˈtɜːn
)
PRINCESSpɹɪnˈsɛs
(
affectionatelyɐfˈɛkʃənətli
).
Butbˈʌt
,
mymˈaɪ
darlingdˈɑːlɪŋ
,
I'm
afraidɐfɹˈeɪd
thatðˈæt
evenˈiːvən
nownˈaʊ
youjˈuː
don't
quitekwaɪt
realizeˈɹɪə.laɪz
whohˈuː
I
aməm
!
(
Embracingɛmbɹˈeɪsɪŋ
himhˈɪm
)
BARONESS
Whywˈaɪ
,
youjˈuː
forwardfˈɔːwəd
littlelˈɪtəl
hussyhˈʌsi
,
howhˈaʊ
daredˈeə
youjˈuː
?
Takes her away from LUDWIG
LUD
Youjˈuː
mustn't
dodə
thatðˈæt
,
mymˈaɪ
deardˈiə
—
nevernˈɛvɐ
inˈɪn
theðə
presencepɹˈɛzəns
ofˈɒv
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
,
I
begbˈɛɡ
!
PRINCESS (weeping).
LUD
Ohˈəʊ
,
papapɐpˈɑː
,
he's
gotɡˈɒt
a
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
!
A
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessdˈʌtʃɛs
!
Mymˈaɪ
goodɡˈʊd
girlɡˈɜːl
,
I've
gotɡˈɒt
threeθɹˈiː
Grandɡɹˈænd
Duchessesdˈʌtʃɛsɪz
!
PRINCESS
Wellwˈɛl
,
I'm
sureʃˈɔː
!
Papapɐpˈɑː
,
let's
goɡˈəʊ
awayɐwˈeɪ
—
thisðˈɪs
isˈɪz
notnˈɒt
a
respectableɹɪspˈɛktəbəl
Courtkˈɔːt
.
PRINCE
Allˈɔːl
theseðˈiːz
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukesdjˈuːks
havehəv
theirðˈeə
littlelˈɪtəl
fanciesfˈænsɪz
,
mymˈaɪ
lovelˈʌv
.
Thisðˈɪs
potentatepˈəʊtəntˌeɪt
appearsɐpˈiəz
totˈuː
bebˈiː
collectingkəlˈɛktɪŋ
wiveswˈaɪvz
.
It's
a
prettypɹˈɪti
hobbyhˈɒbi
—
I
shouldʃˈʊd
likelˈaɪk
totˈuː
collectkəˈlɛkt
a
fewfjˈuː
myselfmaɪsˈɛlf
.
Thisðˈɪs
(
admiringɐdmˈaɪəɹɪŋ
BARONESSbˈæɹəʊnəs
)
isˈɪz
a
charmingtʃˈɑːmɪŋ
specimenspˈɛsɪmən
—
anˈɐn
antiqueæntˈiːk
,
I
shouldʃˈʊd
saysˈeɪ
—
ofˈɒv
theðə
earlyˈɜːli
Merovingianˌmɛ.ɹəˈvɪn.dʒɪ.ən
periodpˈiəɹɪəd
,
ifˈɪf
I'm
notnˈɒt
mistakenmɪstˈeɪkən
;
andˈænd
here's
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
—
a
Scotchskˈɒtʃ
ladylˈeɪdi
,
I
thinkθˈɪŋk
(
alludingɐlˈuːdɪŋ
totˈuː
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
),
andˈænd
(
alludingɐlˈuːdɪŋ
totˈuː
LISAˈliːsə
)
a
littlelˈɪtəl
onewˈɒn
thrownθɹˈəʊn
inˈɪn
.
Twotˈuː
half-quarterns
andˈænd
a
makeweightmˈeɪkweɪt
!
(
Totˈuː
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
)
Havehəv
youjˈuː
suchsˈʌtʃ
a
thingθˈɪŋ
asəz
a
cataloguekˈætɐlˌɒɡ
ofˈɒv
theðə
Museummjuːzˈiəm
?
PRINCESS
Butbˈʌt
I
cannotˈkænɒt
permitpɚˈmɪt
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
totˈuː
keepkˈiːp
a
museummjuːzˈiəm
—
LUD
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
?
Getɡˈɛt
alongɐlˈɒŋ
withwˈɪð
youjˈuː
,
I'm
notnˈɒt
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
!
Rudolphˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
dieddˈaɪd
yesterdayjˈɛstədˌeɪ
!
PRINCEpɹˈɪns
andˈænd
PRINCESSpɹɪnˈsɛs
.
Whatwˈɒt
!
Quitekwaɪt
suddenlysˈʌdənli
—
ofˈɒv
—
ofˈɒv
—
a
cardiackˈɑːdɪˌæk
affectionɐfˈɛkʃən
.
PRINCEpɹˈɪns
andˈænd
PRINCESSpɹɪnˈsɛs
.
Ofˈɒv
a
cardiackˈɑːdɪˌæk
affectionɐfˈɛkʃən
!
Yesjˈɛs
,
a
pack-of-cardiac
affectionɐfˈɛkʃən
.
Heˈhiː
foughtfˈɔːt
a
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Dueldjˈuːəl
withwˈɪð
memˈiː
andˈænd
lostlˈɒst
,
andˈænd
I
tooktˈʊk
overˈəʊvɐ
allˈɔːl
hishˈɪz
engagementsɛnɡˈeɪdʒmənts
—
includingɪnklˈuːdɪŋ
thisðˈɪs
imperfectlyɪmpˈɜːfɛktlˌi
preservedpɹɪsˈɜːvd
oldˈəʊld
ladylˈeɪdi
,
totˈuː
whomhˈuːm
heˈhiː
hashˈæz
beenbˈiːn
engagedɛnɡˈeɪdʒd
forfˈɔː
theðə
lastlˈɑːst
threeθɹˈiː
weekswˈiːks
.
PRINCESS
Threeθɹˈiː
weekswˈiːks
!
Butbˈʌt
I've
beenbˈiːn
engagedɛnɡˈeɪdʒd
totˈuː
himhˈɪm
forfˈɔː
theðə
lastlˈɑːst
twentytwˈɛnti
yearsjˈiəz
!
BARONESSbˈæɹəʊnəs
,
LISAˈliːsə
,
andˈænd
JULIAˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
.
Twentytwˈɛnti
yearsjˈiəz
!
PRINCE (aside).
PRINCESS
It's
allˈɔːl
rightɹˈaɪt
,
mymˈaɪ
lovelˈʌv
—
theyðˈeɪ
can't
getɡˈɛt
overˈəʊvɐ
thatðˈæt
.
(
Aloudɐlˈaʊd
)
He's
yoursjˈɔːz
—
taketˈeɪk
himhˈɪm
,
andˈænd
holdhˈəʊld
himhˈɪm
asəz
tighttˈaɪt
asəz
youjˈuː
cankˈæn
!
Mymˈaɪ
ownˈəʊn
!
(
Embracingɛmbɹˈeɪsɪŋ
LUDWIGˈludvɪɡ
)
LUD
Here's
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
!—
theðə
fourthfˈɔːθ
inˈɪn
four-and-twenty
hoursˈaʊəz
!
Wouldwˈʊd
anybodyˈɛnɪbˌɒdi
elseˈɛls
likelˈaɪk
totˈuː
marrymˈæɹi
memˈiː
?
Youjˈuː
,
ma'am
—
orˈɔː
youjˈuː
—
anybodyˈɛnɪbˌɒdi
!
I'm
gettingɡˈɛtɪŋ
usedjuːzd
totˈuː
itˈɪt
!
BARONESS
Butbˈʌt
letlˈɛt
memˈiː
telltˈɛl
youjˈuː
,
ma'am
—
JULIA
Whywˈaɪ
,
youjˈuː
impudentɪmpjˈuːdənt
littlelˈɪtəl
hussyhˈʌsi
—
LISA
Ohˈəʊ
,
here's
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
—
here's
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
!
(
Weepingwˈiːpɪŋ
)
PRINCESS
Poorpˈɔː
ladieslˈeɪdɪz
,
I'm
veryvˈɛɹi
sorrysˈɒɹi
forfˈɔː
youjˈuː
allˈɔːl
;
butbˈʌt
,
youjˈuː
seesˈiː
,
I've
a
priorpɹˈaɪɐ
claimklˈeɪm
.
Comekˈʌm
,
awayɐwˈeɪ
wewˈiː
goɡˈəʊ
—
there's
notnˈɒt
a
momentmˈəʊmənt
totˈuː
bebˈiː
lostlˈɒst
!
CHORUS (as they dance towards exit).
PRINCESS
Awayɐwˈeɪ
totˈuː
theðə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
we'll
goɡˈəʊ
Totˈuː
summonsˈʌmən
theðə
charioteerstʃˌæɹiətˈiəz
,
Nonəʊ
kindkˈaɪnd
ofˈɒv
reluctanceɹɪlˈʌktəns
wewˈiː
showʃˈəʊ
Totˈuː
embarkɛmbˈɑːk
onˈɒn
ourˈaʊə
marriedmˈæɹɪd
careerskəɹˈiəz
—
(
Atˈæt
thisðˈɪs
momentmˈəʊmənt
RUDOLPHˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
,
ERNESTˈɜː(ɹ)nɪst
,
andˈænd
NOTARYnˈəʊtəɹi
appearɐpˈiə
.
All kneel in astonishment)
RUD
,
Ernɜːn
.
,
andˈænd
NOTnˈɒt
.
Forbearfɔːˈbɛə
!
Thisðˈɪs
maymˈeɪ
notnˈɒt
bebˈiː
!
Frustratedfɹʌstɹˈeɪtɪd
areə(ɹ)
yourjˈɔː
plansplˈænz
!
Withwˈɪð
paramountpˈæɹəmˌaʊnt
decreedɪkɹˈiː
Theðə
Lawlˈɔː
forbidsfəbˈɪdz
theðə
bannsbˈænz
!
ALL
Theðə
Lawlˈɔː
forbidsfəbˈɪdz
theðə
bannsbˈænz
!
LUD
Notnˈɒt
a
bitbˈɪt
ofˈɒv
itˈɪt
!
I've
revivedɹɪvˈaɪvd
theðə
lawlˈɔː
forfˈɔː
anotherɐnˈʌðɐ
centurysˈɛntʃəɹi
!
RUD
Youjˈuː
didn't
reviveɹɪvˈaɪv
itˈɪt
!
Youjˈuː
couldn't
reviveɹɪvˈaɪv
itˈɪt
!
Youjˈuː
—
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
anˈɐn
impostorɪmpˈɒstɐ
,
sirsˈɜː
—
a
tuppennytˈʌpənˌi
rogueɹˈəʊɡ
,
sirsˈɜː
!
Youjˈuː
—
youjˈuː
nevernˈɛvɐ
werewˈɜː
,
andˈænd
inˈɪn
allˈɔːl
humanhjˈuːmən
probabilitypɹˌɒbəbˈɪlɪti
nevernˈɛvɐ
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
—
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
ofˈɒv
Pfennigfˈɛnɪɡ
Anythingˈɛnɪθˌɪŋ
!
ALL
Whatwˈɒt
!!!
RUD
Nevernˈɛvɐ
—
nevernˈɛvɐ
,
nevernˈɛvɐ
!
(
Asideɐsˈaɪd
)
Ohˈəʊ
,
mymˈaɪ
internalɪntˈɜːnəl
economyɪkˈɒnəmi
!
LUD
That's
absurdɐbsˈɜːd
,
youjˈuː
knownˈəʊ
.
I
foughtfˈɔːt
theðə
Grandɡɹˈænd
Dukedjˈuːk
.
Heˈhiː
drewdɹˈuː
a
Kingkˈɪŋ
,
andˈænd
I
drewdɹˈuː
anˈɐn
Aceˈeɪs
.
Heˈhiː
perishedpˈɛɹɪʃt
inˈɪn
inconceivableɪnkənsˈiːvəbəl
agoniesˈæɡənɪz
onˈɒn
theðə
spotspˈɒt
.
Nownˈaʊ
,
asəz
that's
settledsˈɛtəld
,
we'll
goɡˈəʊ
onˈɒn
withwˈɪð
theðə
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
.
RUD
Itˈɪt
—
itˈɪt
isn't
settledsˈɛtəld
.
Youjˈuː
—
youjˈuː
can't
.
I
—
I
—(
totˈuː
NOT
Ohˈəʊ
,
telltˈɛl
himhˈɪm
—
telltˈɛl
himhˈɪm
!
I
can't
!
Wellwˈɛl
,
theðə
factfˈækt
isˈɪz
,
there's
beenbˈiːn
a
littlelˈɪtəl
mistakemɪstˈeɪk
herehˈiə
.
Onˈɒn
referenceɹˈɛfɹəns
totˈuː
theðə
Actˈækt
thatðˈæt
regulatesɹˈɛɡjuːlˌeɪts
Statutorystˈætʃuːtəɹˌi
Duelsdjˈuːəlz
,
I
findfˈaɪnd
itˈɪt
isˈɪz
expresslyɛkspɹˈɛsli
laidlˈeɪd
downdˈaʊn
thatðˈæt
theðə
Aceˈeɪs
shallʃˈæl
countkˈaʊnt
invariablyɪnvˈeəɹɪəbli
asəz
lowestlˈəʊəst
!
ALL
Asəz
lowestlˈəʊəst
!
RUD
(
breathlesslybɹˈɛθləsli
).
Asəz
lowestlˈəʊəst
—
lowestlˈəʊəst
—
lowestlˈəʊəst
!
Sosˈəʊ
you're
theðə
ghoest
—
ghoest
—
ghoest
!
(
Asideɐsˈaɪd
)
Ohˈəʊ
,
whatwˈɒt
isˈɪz
theðə
mattermˈætɐ
withwˈɪð
memˈiː
insideˈɪnsaɪd
herehˈiə
!
ERN
Wellwˈɛl
,
Juliaˈd͡ʒuːli.ə
,
asəz
itˈɪt
seemssˈiːmz
thatðˈæt
theðə
lawlˈɔː
hasn't
beenbˈiːn
revivedɹɪvˈaɪvd
—
andˈænd
asəz
,
consequentlykˈɒnsɪkwəntli
,
I
shallʃˈæl
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
inˈɪn
aboutɐbˈaʊt
threeθɹˈiː
minutesmˈɪnɪts
—(
consultingkənsˈʌltɪŋ
hishˈɪz
watchwˈɒtʃ
)—
My objection falls to the ground.
Resignedly
JULIA
Veryvˈɛɹi
wellwˈɛl
!
And am I to understand that I was on the point
PRINCESS
ofˈɒv
marryingmˈæɹɪɪŋ
a
deaddˈɛd
manmˈæn
withoutwɪðˈaʊt
knowingnˈəʊɪŋ
itˈɪt
?
(
Totˈuː
RUDOLPHˈɹuːdɒ(l)f
,
whohˈuː
revivesɹɪvˈaɪvz
)
Ohˈəʊ
,
mymˈaɪ
lovelˈʌv
,
whatwˈɒt
a
narrownˈæɹəʊ
escapeɛskˈeɪp
I've
hadhˈæd
!
RUD
Ohˈəʊ
—
youjˈuː
areə(ɹ)
theðə
Princesspɹɪnˈsɛs
ofˈɒv
Montemˈɒnti
Carloˈkɑɹloʊ
,
andˈænd
you've
turnedtˈɜːnd
upˈʌp
justdʒˈʌst
inˈɪn
timetˈaɪm
!
Wellwˈɛl
,
you're
anˈɐn
attractiveɐtɹˈæktɪv
littlelˈɪtəl
girlɡˈɜːl
,
youjˈuː
knownˈəʊ
,
butbˈʌt
you're
asəz
poorpˈɔː
asəz
a
ratɹˈæt
!
(
Theyðˈeɪ
retireɹɪtˈaɪə
upˈʌp
togethertəɡˈɛðɐ
)
LISA
That's
allˈɔːl
veryvˈɛɹi
wellwˈɛl
,
butbˈʌt
whatwˈɒt
isˈɪz
totˈuː
becomebɪkˈʌm
ofˈɒv
memˈiː
?
To LUDWIG) If you're a dead man—(Clock strikes three
LUD
Butbˈʌt
I'm
notnˈɒt
.
Time's
upˈʌp
—
theðə
Actˈækt
hashˈæz
expiredɛkspˈaɪəd
—
I've
comekˈʌm
totˈuː
lifelˈaɪf
—
theðə
parsonpˈɑːsən
isˈɪz
stillstˈɪl
inˈɪn
attendanceɐtˈɛndəns
,
andˈænd
we'll
allˈɔːl
bebˈiː
marriedmˈæɹɪd
directlydaɪɹˈɛktli
.
ALL
Hurrahhəɹˈɑː
!
FINALE
Happyhˈæpi
coupleskˈʌpəlz
,
lightlylˈaɪtli
treadingtɹˈɛdɪŋ
,
Castlekˈɑːsəl
chapeltʃˈæpəl
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
quitekwaɪt
fullfˈʊl
!
Eachˈiːtʃ
shallʃˈæl
havehəv
a
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
,
Asəz
,
ofˈɒv
coursekˈɔːs
,
isˈɪz
onlyˈəʊnli
rightfulɹˈaɪtfəl
,
Thoughðˈəʊ
theðə
bridesbɹˈaɪdz
bebˈiː
fairfˈeə
orˈɔː
frightfulfɹˈaɪtfəl
.
Contradictionkˌɒntɹədˈɪkʃən
littlelˈɪtəl
dreadingdɹˈɛdɪŋ
,
Thisðˈɪs
willwˈɪl
bebˈiː
a
daydˈeɪ
delightfuldɪlˈaɪtfəl
—
Eachˈiːtʃ
shallʃˈæl
havehəv
a
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
!
Suchsˈʌtʃ
a
prettypɹˈɪti
,
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
!
Suchsˈʌtʃ
a
prettypɹˈɪti
weddingwˈɛdɪŋ
!
All dance off to get married as the curtain falls